Should I tell her?

[Eternal Sunshine]

A friend of mine started dating a guy couple of months ago. They are exclusive and I met him last weekend. They met in "Real life" as my friend doesn't do OLD.

 

Few days ago, I came across his profile on OKC. He does have "seeing someone" as a status and is looking for "new friends". Yet he is online every day and ALL the time.

 

Is this even wrong given that he has the "seeing someone" status? I sure as hell know that it wouldn't fly with me. I am leaning towards sending her the link and let her make up her own mind.

[Philosoraptor]

If he promptly says he is seeing someone and is set as looking for new friends there is a chance that there is no issue. Honestly though, there are a lot of places to make friends. If he had no issue meeting women in real life he wouldn't have problems making friends there either.

[veggirl]

I'd be pissed if my bf was on a dating site for any reason. Looking for friends? Yeah, puhlease. I'd give her a heads up.

[cozycottagelg]

Could he possibly have that down there because he is "seeing" your friend?

[carhill]

IMO, leave it alone. Presuming she's a contemporary, meaning early-mid 30's, she's had relationships, knows men and their proclivities and can suss out unhealthy dynamics, should they exist, on her own.

 

That said, if the guy directly hit on you, in person, I'd share that with her.

[SerCay]

She should at least have the chance to talk to him about it.

I would tell her, but in a non-alarming way. After that she can figure out what she wants to do with it.

 

They're in a couple months and they're exclusive, imo he should either take his profile down, or block it if he isn't sure where the relationship will lead. But it's wrong to be looking for ''new friends'' online when you've just become exclusive with your gf.

 

We all know what ''looking for friends'' on an old site means.

[mammasita]

I'd want to know if it were me. There's no reason ANYONE needs to be "looking for friends" on a dating site. That's nonsense.

 

He can look for friends on facebook & meetup just as easy.

[Leigh 87]

I would tell her.

 

It's totally retarded to go on DATING site to "make new friends"

 

It's laughable.

 

Really? "Making new friends" on a dating site?

 

If he has the impetus to seek out friends online then he also knows very well about the existence of meet up groups.

 

He's a loser.

[writergal]

Eternal Sunshine you owe it to your friend to tell her that her boyfriend's trolling for dates (disguised as "looking for friends") on OkCupid. That is NOT okay. And he has no justifiable excuse for doing that when he's supposedly in a committed relationship with your friend.

 

Seriously, what's wrong with this guy if he has to use a dating website to seek out more female friends. Methinks he's looking for women to date along with dating your friend. And that is the action of a scumbag. Your friend deserves to know she's dating a real loser so she can dump him and date a normal guy who won't go on a dating website behind her back.

 

If you stay out of it, knowing what you do, it will come back to your friend when she finds out that he was on a dating website while they dated, and she'll blame you for not telling her. I've seen this scenario play out one too many times with my friends who do online dating. I tried online dating myself and hated it because of the games people play.

 

Besides, once you tell her, you are free of any wrath she may have for her boyfriend because you came clean with this information so she can't blame you for keeping it a secret. Men come and go, but women's friendships are more precious (sorry guys, but you're second fiddle to women's friendships).

Edited February 22, 2014 by writergal