Jmk21 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 This is the first time my ex has contacted me directly in 3 months. She sent me a FB message saying "I hope you didn't burn the **** and the ******. I would of glady taken those off your hands... hurts my heart "insert my name" Can someone explain or have some idea to a reason why she brought this up 3 months after.. I haven't sent a response because I don't know what to say. I don't have anything I feel like I need to say anymore
organizedchaos Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Brought what up? Need more context. 2
d0cholliday Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Yes, tell us a bit more. I'm really interested in what she said... Collecting experiences is a great thing cause it prepares you for your next relationship, even if it is a new RS with your ex. 1
Author Jmk21 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 I kid you not that is all she said. There was no hello. No how have you been. No goodbye. She just asked if I burned 2 specific items she bought be, then said it hurts her heart. Probably found out I toasted everything about us.
Author Jmk21 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 I have told her to gtfo of my life countless times. She doors bug but me but the fact she pops in everyone and then pisses me off
Zahara Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I read your history with her. She feels guilt so she's using these tactics to tug at your heartstrings, to make you react. She probably hates knowing she's being viewed negatively. The moment you ease things for her -- responding to her -- depending on what you say, it will either alleviate her guilt or give her an ego boost that you are still affected. Why haven't you blocked her? 1
Author Jmk21 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Zahara. I think your onto something. Throughout our whole relationship she was always adamant about maintaining friendships with everybody she's ever met. Even past relationships fell under this criteria. I always told her I would cut her out and I wasn't kidding. After she sent me the message over Facebook blocked her. I am not holding a grudge on her anymore. I just don't want anything to do with her and I feel like I shouldn't have to tell her this.
xUnknown Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Zahara. I think your onto something. Throughout our whole relationship she was always adamant about maintaining friendships with everybody she's ever met. Even past relationships fell under this criteria. I always told her I would cut her out and I wasn't kidding. After she sent me the message over Facebook blocked her. I am not holding a grudge on her anymore. I just don't want anything to do with her and I feel like I shouldn't have to tell her this. So then do this... Don't respond.
Zahara Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Zahara. I think your onto something. Throughout our whole relationship she was always adamant about maintaining friendships with everybody she's ever met. Even past relationships fell under this criteria. I always told her I would cut her out and I wasn't kidding. After she sent me the message over Facebook blocked her. I am not holding a grudge on her anymore. I just don't want anything to do with her and I feel like I shouldn't have to tell her this. I think she's the type that needs external validation. She needs to be accepted. She's trying to come off like the victim, sounding affected and wounded to manipulate your emotions and make her feel good about herself and her ego. Cut contact and move on from her. No need to justify anything to her. She lost every benefit to your thoughts, your feelings and your validation when she did what she did.
fancy feast Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I don't have anything I feel like I need to say anymore There's your answer then. You got nothing to say to her, so don't worry about it and get on with your life. I'm sure you've got more important **** on your plate.
Author Jmk21 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Thanks guys. I'll continue no contact on my end. Been 3 months strong now on my end 2
Blizeow Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Been 3 months strong now on my end Oh my goodness! See! You're doing well! Do not break NC! I am 32 days strong!!!
Author Jmk21 Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Thanks, I'm trying my best. It sucks sometimes
d0cholliday Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Thanks, I'm trying my best. It sucks sometimes Sure it sucks, and believe me it will suck from time to time. But it is the road we need to take. Hard times come and go, few weeks after break up is hard, then most of the time you are just thinking, then sometimes you get in to crysis, but it will pass soon, then you go again analyzing, thinking etc. After that I don't know what happens, I didn't get to that point yet, but I'm going towards it. So keep strong, and do what's best for you.
kjohn Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 You said… I am not holding a grudge on her anymore. I just don't want anything to do with her and I feel like I shouldn't have to tell her this. If that is really true there are things you can do on your end to make it happen. Block her on FB…no more cryptic messages to try to figure out. Block her on your cell phone. No chance of any calls or texts coming through. Block her in your email software. Block her wherever you can. Why are you leaving the door open for contact if you really mean it when you say you want none?
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