True or false: no such thing as attractive single women ?

[datingnoob93]

It seems like very attractive woman either always 1) has a boyfriend already, or 2) is "dating", "hanging out with", or "talking with" several guys until she decides one of them is fit enough to be her boyfriend.

 

Are there any really single attractive women out there ? It seriously makes it hard for a guy because when you ask a girl out you are competing with other guys hitting on her but also guys she's already seeing, and if you don't deliver she can always fall back on somebody else. But its not easy to see multiple women at once if you don't have your own place, short on cash, etc. Its not fair.

[Barbarossa]

You must not live in Florida I see single attractive women constantly.

[ExpatInItaly]

False. What a silly question.

[CrystalCastles]

What's not fair is that kind of mentality. I don't think the single attractive women would appreciate being written off like that.

[der]

Then date an average looking one like most of us do.

[pickflicker]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't think there's a shred of truth in a statement like this.

[Omei]

I'm very pretty, not to brag but I am and I have been single for a year without extra guys on the side. I have always been the chaser, the payer the romancer. Now I've decided to pull back all the effort I throw at guys and just wait till a match comes along.

 

We're out there.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Me

[FnlyFrei]

This sounds like a lesson in human nature. We want to find someone as attractive, or even more attractive than ourselves, so in effect, the most attractive people have the most potential mates.

The key is to be someone interesting enough to attract someone you would be as interested in. As a female, I have seen men who are quite unattractive, commenting about the looks or weight of their female counterparts, as if they were themselves a real catch. So then, they not only have the burden of their own shortcomings, they also are really shallow and ridiculous. I have also seen couples where one person looks like a model, the other is plain, but has intelligence, charisma and an actual personality. Why did the attractive person want to be around the less attractive mate? Because it ISNT always about the exterior.

[soccerrprp]

Of course there are. You know very well that that is the case. I think the problem is that your idea of attractive only entails the very small percentage of women that fit the model, playboy, Halle Berry types. Most or all of them seem to be taken right now. I think you need to open your eyes a little more and realize that there are quite a few attractive women out there who are still single.

 

Perhaps you are being rejected and ladies using the line that they are already taken? Open up to more variety.

[Poppygoodwill]

The irony is that so often really gorgeous single woman - the Halle Berry types - lament that they have been single for a while because men don't have the nerve to approach them, assuming that a woman that beautiful has a string of guys following her around. Or the only guys who approach them are shallow creeps looking for arm candy.

 

And to the OP - anything worth having deserves a fight, dude. If you think you can just swan in and pickup an awesome woman without having to compete for her attention - against other men, maybe, but also maybe with the other awesome things in her life....her children, or her job, or her hobbies, or her friends - then you should reconsider the dating game. Or lower your standards considerably.

[salparadise]

You forgot the mention how the hotness/wild between the sheets factor directly correlates with BSC. Dude, it's really simple. All women want a top 5 percent guy, and stunningly gorgeous women accept nothing less than top 1 percent. So just be one of those guys.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have known very beautiful women that were single for years. They simply didn't meet anyone that's up to their standards. Doesn't mean that they don't or can't get anyone.

[verhrzn]

I was single for long stretches of time without any kind of male attention. But then again, I might not be what is considered "attractive."

 

Here's the thing: if you're going after the top 10% of girls, then of course you're going to have competition. Why are you so shocked about that? An OKCupid study determined that 2/3rds of men were emailing only 1/3rd of the women, so a huge bunch of guys were competing for a small, select number of girls.

 

That is the price you pay for going after an extremely hot girl; you have to compete. If you don't want to compete, then start learning how to look for the attractive-enough, more shy/introverted girls. The choice is really up to you.

[acrosstheuniverse]

The longest I've really been single seems to have been about three months, in between relationships, of dating, until someone pops up that I want to take things further with. So I suppose I've only been available a very small percentage of my adult dating life.

 

Fact is, attractive women are in demand, if you want to get with one, you need to compete. It's unfair but there's nothing you can do about it, other than join in if you're willing.

 

And if you're poor, and don't have your own place, maybe focus on sorting those kinds of things out first before worrying about dating stunning women. I would happily date a man who was on minimum wage, but I wouldn't date a guy still living with his family, not in a billion years.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

It seems like very attractive woman either always 1) has a boyfriend already, or 2) is "dating", "hanging out with", or "talking with" several guys until she decides one of them is fit enough to be her boyfriend.

 

Are there any really single attractive women out there ? It seriously makes it hard for a guy because when you ask a girl out you are competing with other guys hitting on her but also guys she's already seeing, and if you don't deliver she can always fall back on somebody else. But its not easy to see multiple women at once if you don't have your own place, short on cash, etc. Its not fair.

 

FALSE. I am single and look at me! ;-) That sounded mildly narcissistic.

 

Anyways, whats wrong with dating multiple men to find the most suitable one? Is this jealousy issues?

 

It's not competing, it's about finding the one you have the most chemistry with and not settling for less.

 

I think you should do the same.

[fortyninethousand322]

An attractive single girl is like finding a 20 dollar bill on the ground. Odds are it's not really a 20 dollar bill or else it would have been picked up already.

[GoodOnPaper]

It seems like very attractive woman either always 1) has a boyfriend already, or 2) is "dating", "hanging out with", or "talking with" several guys until she decides one of them is fit enough to be her boyfriend.

 

After college, it seemed impossible to find a woman who was truly single. But circumstances can play a part in that. Mine were that I was in grad school (very little time to get out socially), had no car (couldn't get to places where singles hung out), and had next to no money (shared an apartment). So you are right about this . . .

 

But its not easy to see multiple women at once if you don't have your own place, short on cash, etc. Its not fair.

 

However, women aren't attracted to potential -- there are plenty of established guys to choose from. Here is advice I wish I had followed: Have patience with yourself and focus on making yourself independent enough on the home and transportation front. Until then, treat any interactions with women (conversations, flirting, dating, sex) you happen to have as practice.

[central]

Turn it around. Perhaps you're not an attractive single man?

 

Seriously, though, there are many attractive single women in any age range you care to consider. The trick is finding them, and even that's not very hard. The hard part is finding those who are not only attractive, but also compatible and looking for the same thing in a relationship as you are.

[verhrzn]

An attractive single girl is like finding a 20 dollar bill on the ground. Odds are it's not really a 20 dollar bill or else it would have been picked up already.

 

You do realize that these sorts of statements are incredibly offensive to the girls posting here who are both single and consider themselves attractive? That you are, in essence, saying any girl who is ever single for longer than an arbitrary amount of time is unattractive, otherwise she wouldn't be single? Thus insulting every single girl's looks?

 

And if you don't care about girls' feelings, then care about the implications-if girls decide "Oh okay I guess I must be ugly," then they are more likely to just stop trying to date all together and become happy with being single (since, hey, guys don't want ugly chicks.) Which means you have now just shaved off a significant portion of potential girls from the singles pool.

 

In short: whining about how you can't find hot, single girls only hurts yourself in the long run.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

You do realize that these sorts of statements are incredibly offensive to the girls posting here who are both single and consider themselves attractive? That you are, in essence, saying any girl who is ever single for longer than an arbitrary amount of time is unattractive, otherwise she wouldn't be single? Thus insulting every single girl's looks?

 

And if you don't care about girls' feelings, then care about the implications-if girls decide "Oh okay I guess I must be ugly," then they are more likely to just stop trying to date all together and become happy with being single (since, hey, guys don't want ugly chicks.) Which means you have now just shaved off a significant portion of potential girls from the singles pool.

 

In short: whining about how you can't find hot, single girls only hurts yourself in the long run.

 

True, but only confident woman can see right through this guy.

[Revolver]

It's true. They're all taken in college

[tlegend]

I would like to pose a question then, because in my experience, I find this to be true moreso than false.

 

First, let's get some facts out of the way to those who feel the need to attack my post rather than my question.

 

1) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I understand there are women who consider themselves attractive. That being said, we are talking about beauty from the perspective of the male as evidenced by the question.

 

2) I consider myself an attractive male, and have been told as such many times. Not, I'm not full of myself so please don't go there.

 

3) More than a few of my exes are not considered attractive (to a majority vote). I've been told this many times by friends and family...in a friendly...joking manner (usually AFTER the relationship....)

 

Although there are women who are both attractive and single, I find that by a large margin, most of the women I meet are one of the following:

 

1) Recently out of a relationship. (I don't want to be a rebound and who knows how long it will take for her to move on and be emotionally available.)

 

This usually leads to a FWB situation...

 

2) Currently in a relationship. (I won't entertain the idea of ever being in a relationship with a woman who does this. I made this mistake once, never again.)

 

This leads to a friendship...or nothing. Usually nothing.

 

3) Dating multiple men....romantically

 

I guess this is mostly my values that are in play here. I have never been a fan of multi-dating and generally if I am into a woman, I will move to exclusivity very quickly...

 

 

Now after all of this is understood, I would like to know where I can find attractive women, who are single, who would not be under one the aforementioned categories.

 

I am 28 years old. I don't like to frequent bars to meet women to date....that's where you go to meet women to hook up. I haven't done online dating yet simply because I never have, although I'm starting to wonder what the results of that would be.

[carhill]

True or false: no such thing as attractive single women ?

 

IME, over about 36 years as an adult in a single demographic, true. However, and this is an important point, there has rarely been such a thing as a single woman, regardless of attractiveness, so take my anecdote FWIW. For myself, a single woman is one who isn't actively pursuing/engaging another relationship/sexual liaison and is available to 'get to know'. Overwhelmingly, and with rare exception (I caught my exW while dating but not 'going crazy' (sex)), I *never* meet unattached women. However, I did have better luck meeting such women in other countries where the demographics were different (ratio of women to men). In those isolated cases, I would opine 'false', as there did appear to be attractive single women, and I dated them. Different demographics, different results.

[kodakgirl]

You do realize that these sorts of statements are incredibly offensive to the girls posting here who are both single and consider themselves attractive? That you are, in essence, saying any girl who is ever single for longer than an arbitrary amount of time is unattractive, otherwise she wouldn't be single? Thus insulting every single girl's looks?

 

And if you don't care about girls' feelings, then care about the implications-if girls decide "Oh okay I guess I must be ugly," then they are more likely to just stop trying to date all together and become happy with being single (since, hey, guys don't want ugly chicks.) Which means you have now just shaved off a significant portion of potential girls from the singles pool.

 

In short: whining about how you can't find hot, single girls only hurts yourself in the long run.

 

Thank you so much for saying this, it is just what I was thinking. Hearing this kind of thing over and over is hurtful. The implication is that if you're a single woman, you can't possibly be attractive, or, if you ARE single and attractive, it's because there's something horribly wrong with you (not to mention the implication that woman who aren't stunners aren't worth dating). I am 100% single, no prospects. I also get a lot of feedback that I'm quite attractive and a wonderful person (I certainly believe the latter is true... one of the reasons I doubt the former is threads like this). I've been 100% single for most of my adult life. I haven't wanted to be, but circumstances, shyness, and high standards will do that. Being attractive, single, and a wonderful person does not magically mean the right men just materialize, and some of us would rather be happy with our single lives rather than go with the wrong man. To me, a man who bitterly whines about how attractive women are never single is almost certainly a wrong man.