LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I have been seeing this girl on the weekends over the past month or so now. She is just amazing and this last weekend was incredible. While we have been highly sexual I have stopped the proceedings previously just short of the actual event. That changed this past weekend. Before it did she actually stopped me and expressed concern about taking that step. Saying what if its bad I'll lose interest, and what if its really good then we are in some trouble!! We talked about being hurt in the past and closing down our hearts. We spoke about how we were afraid of each other and all the reasons we would never work. Then we just went for it. Long story short we didnt get out of bed until 5pm Sunday. Her only comment was, "Wow... just...wow". Which scared the HELL out of me because that is verbatim what my ex-wife said after our first time together. Later in the evening, she said, "I was hoping it would have been kinda bad, but it was actually really effing amazing, I may have to quit you". This is generally woman code for I think we keep this up I'm falling in love with you. But this girl is a real wild card and keeps me guessing. Right now Im sitting here icing her text messages because I don't want to seem too eager. And also I don't know what to say. I have never met anyone like her and much of what makes her special you cant find every day. I think we both feel like we are on a really great roller coaster that eventually will fly off the tracks. How should I proceed?? Without scaring her off and still being able to maintain my sanity? Im in trouble...
Eivuwan Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Just enjoy yourself while keeping in mind that no one is perfect.
FnlyFrei Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 The sex was really good. Who knows if you will actually get along? Maybe back of the sex and get to know one another as well. Sex actually can be a hindrance to getting to know someone. Chemistry is amazing...but when that chemical haze clears a bit, it stinks to find out that you do not actually like each other....
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I think you're not ready for a relationship yet. You are too afraid and expect the worst, and not dealing well with it. Ignoring her text messages is not the way to go; in fact, it looks outright rude after being intimate with her. I don't know your relationship history but it seems to me that you've got some healing to do. A little fear or anxiety is normal in the beginning. I think you've got too much fear of the unknown to build a healthy foundation at this point, in my opinion. That only paves the way for self-sabotage. 1
Eivuwan Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 No thoughts on this? When I say enjoy yourself, I mean just be yourself. Don't play games like icing her text messages. That sort of thing just leads to eventual distrust on both sides. It's not how you build the foundation for a healthy relationship. Nobody is perfect and keeping that in mind should stop you from putting her on some sort of pedestal and rushing the relationship.
Author LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Expat, your right. I may not be fully healed from my divorce though it has been 5 years(together for 14years). Truthfully, I dont know if it is possible to heal that. I had pretty much given up when this thunderbolt hit me. I did text her back tonight and it all scared the hell out of me. She lives 2 hours away. And she is planning to quit her job Friday and move back. It was quit at the end of the month last week. Then she wanted to quit Monday and just stay. I talked her into giving it at least another week. She still has her place here and only moved 2 months ago. She says she is homesick. Saturday we had not planned for her to come into town. She ditched her friends birthday party and came to see me. I had earlier in the day told her to have fun with her friends and see me next weekend. I knew the moment I laid eyes on my ex-wife we would get married. And I never felt that about another woman until this one. What scares me most is it looks like this is going to move fast and I dont want to put on the brakes.
FnlyFrei Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 For my information, what scares a man about things going well? I do not understand.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Well this is just depressing. I never in my life felt that way about someone. And you get two? Not fair
Author LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 She is really amazing 26yr old (Im 40), champion athlete, 6 feet tall, perfect body, fire emerald eyes, radiant skin, and the most beautiful smile in the world. Her face looks like home to me. When I told her that in bed her pupils nearly expanded out of her eyes and she gave me that look that Ive missed so much. Its a connection I never really thought was possible again. We connect on such a deep level in our conversations. We can talk all night and never stop laughing. We are both the type of people that no matter where we go we will meet the whole place. The other night after dinner the bartender overhearing our conversation asks how long we have been married. We laughed and said no we just recently met. She invited us out after her shift with her friends to hear our story. There were about a dozen of us. After we told how we had met, our backgrounds, and what we were doing together and how its never going to work... everyone requested invites to the wedding. LOL Why am I scared of things going so well? I messed this up really bad the first time around. And shes a flight risk on top of it. Ive been on this ride once and it went really high but the fall was really far too.
FnlyFrei Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 It sounds like you two are annoyingly perfect and a gorgeous couple. It sounds like your basic fear is of screwing it up and losing her. Maybe slowing it down isn't such a bad thing. But don't let it go.
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