SweetLover Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I am 20 years of age and I am the mistress to a 31 year old with a 6 month old child. I met him at work as he started working as one of my supervisors. My best friend at the time was his first ever mistress. They dated for about 5 months on and off and being her best friend, I advised her to leave him. As for the guy, we became close friends since we always worked together. He was basically my boss, but from time to time we would see each other to hang out and chat. Eventually, him and my best friend started fighting. She would always cry and I was angry at him for that. After a few months, he left her and she quit her job and ended our friendship as well. The guy and I became closer than ever. We started hanging out more and texting each other whenever there was time. These were all just friend stuff. I didn't mind that at all. I didn't think that he liked me, but I surely started to have the feels for him. He was a very charming man. Always happy despite the problems around him. On October, we hung out for his birthday. He had quit a few drinks and asked me for a "birthday kiss". I told him a peck would be good but that's it. You see, I had a boyfriend at that time and he loved me unconditionally. I just couldn't return the favor cause I didn't feel him being the one for me. So I gave my friend that kiss, and him being tipsy started to make out with me. This kiss was amazing. Something that I couldn't stop because I didn't want it to. We started out relationship from there. We called each other FBF meaning Friends with Benefits with Feelings. He told me that he loved me, but that he still loves his wife. And that they're 2 month old kid forms they're bond. By December, He would still tell me that he loves me. He would come over a lot with his 4 month old baby and I would play with her while he rests from a tiring night at work. By January, his wife started accusing him of cheating. We were very careful. She just accused him because she had dreams of him cheating. So we had to be extra careful, not seeing each other as much as we used to. We only see each other twice a week now. Once at work and once at my home so he could sleep while I take care of the kid. I started to feel the neglect. He would barely text me and say that he was sleeping from working graveyard shift and taking care of his kid. He hasnt said I love you in weeks. So I asked him if we should stop seeing each other and he agreed. But we're ending it slowly. Being coworkers and great friends, we didnt want any awkwardness in ending the relationship quickly. I know we've only been seeing each other for about 4 months, but I've known him for over a year. It sucks because he's my closest friend and I tell him everything. Im also not stupid, I know that his love for me is mainly lust. And I know he could never leave his family for me. The wife supports him financially. She is the bread winner. His oh-so-beautiful daughter is such a sweet heart. Why would he leave them for anyone? But why is it that I have this feeling of him being the one? How is it that I chose to leave my boyfriend who was willing to give up everything for me just to be with this married man who told me he could never leave his family? How is it from the number of times I've fallen in love, this is the strongest? He's leaving for the Philippines for a month and will be back in time for my 21st birthday. No contact at all for his wife monitors his phone, facebook and every other account that he has. This can only go two ways: without contacts or so, Ill be able to get over him quickly, or once he gets back, I will love him even more. Im hoping for the 1st.
thinkingofhim Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 So he says he still loves his wife and he comes over so you can watch his kid while he takes a nap? omg.. smell the coffee, he doesn't love you, he gets you for bonus sex and a BABYSITTER!!!! 4
EverySunset Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 You may not have a choice in who you fall in love with, but you certainly have a choice in how you deal with it. You are way, waaaaaaaaaaay too young to have this in your life. Cut it off and find someone emotionally and physically able to be with you. You deserve better. ...and frankly, so does his infant daughter.
CarrieT Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 You are 20 and you already know he is a cheater and hurt one of your friends with his relationship. Why would you want that for yourself? Don't you deserve better? 1
proseandpassion Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Wow, this guy is a user and a cheater. I'm sorry someone so young had to experience this. Also, this "he's my closest friend" thing - well, being in an A is isolating. And I think the MM prefer it that way. Cut it off, and enjoy your youth. 1
jwi71 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I'm not sure friends treat one another like this.
sunburned Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I am 20 years of age and I am the mistress to a 31 year old with a 6 month old child. [b]I met him at work as he started working as one of my supervisors. My best friend at the time was his first ever mistress. They dated for about 5 months on and off and being her best friend, I advised her to leave him.[/b] As for the guy, we became close friends since we always worked together. He was basically my boss, but from time to time we would see each other to hang out and chat. Eventually, him and my best friend started fighting. She would always cry and I was angry at him for that. After a few months, he left her and she quit her job and ended our friendship as well. The guy and I became closer than ever. We started hanging out more and texting each other whenever there was time. These were all just friend stuff. I didn't mind that at all. I didn't think that he liked me, but I surely started to have the feels for him. He was a very charming man. Always happy despite the problems around him. On October, we hung out for his birthday. He had quit a few drinks and asked me for a "birthday kiss". I told him a peck would be good but that's it. You see, I had a boyfriend at that time and he loved me unconditionally. I just couldn't return the favor cause I didn't feel him being the one for me. So I gave my friend that kiss, and him being tipsy started to make out with me. This kiss was amazing. Something that I couldn't stop because I didn't want it to. We started out relationship from there. We called each other FBF meaning Friends with Benefits with Feelings. He told me that he loved me, but that he still loves his wife. And that they're 2 month old kid forms they're bond. By December, He would still tell me that he loves me. He would come over a lot with his 4 month old baby and I would play with her while he rests from a tiring night at work. By January, his wife started accusing him of cheating. We were very careful. She just accused him because she had dreams of him cheating. So we had to be extra careful, not seeing each other as much as we used to. We only see each other twice a week now. Once at work and once at my home so he could sleep while I take care of the kid. I started to feel the neglect. He would barely text me and say that he was sleeping from working graveyard shift and taking care of his kid. He hasnt said I love you in weeks. So I asked him if we should stop seeing each other and he agreed. But we're ending it slowly. Being coworkers and great friends, we didnt want any awkwardness in ending the relationship quickly. I know we've only been seeing each other for about 4 months, but I've known him for over a year. It sucks because he's my closest friend and I tell him everything. Im also not stupid, I know that his love for me is mainly lust. And I know he could never leave his family for me. The wife supports him financially. She is the bread winner. His oh-so-beautiful daughter is such a sweet heart. Why would he leave them for anyone? But why is it that I have this feeling of him being the one? How is it that I chose to leave my boyfriend who was willing to give up everything for me just to be with this married man who told me he could never leave his family? How is it from the number of times I've fallen in love, this is the strongest? He's leaving for the Philippines for a month and will be back in time for my 21st birthday. No contact at all for his wife monitors his phone, facebook and every other account that he has. This can only go two ways: without contacts or so, Ill be able to get over him quickly, or once he gets back, I will love him even more. Im hoping for the 1st. I was screaming NO NO NO after the first few sentences. I didn't need to read anymore, but -- having poor boundaries -- I continued. More importantly, why did you continue? Having a friend with benefits who also babysits would be tempting to me too. Did you at least get paid $15-18/hour? That's the going rate here. Talk about getting all your needs met! Seriously, you know the right thing to do. Run, don't walk, from this POS. Leave the company, tell the wife, whatever you have to do. This is cringe-worthy stuff. BTW, you mentioned his baby as 2, 4 and 6 months old. We are talking about just one kid plus a couple of typos, right? It would be a shame to allow this fellow to continue to be fruitful and multiply.
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 God, you're so young! At 20 you should be dating guys your own age who aren't married with young babies! This guy doesn't love you the way you love him. He's older, wiser and knows that he's just having some fun with you and eventually he'll go onto another young woman. He's a liar, a cheater and hey, he had an affair with your so called best friend as well! He is a player and he's gonna hurt you so badly some day soon. Just look at how he was with your best friend! This is a mess, please wise up and dump him before you get messed up. DO your parents know you're having an affair with a 31 year old MM with a 6 month old baby? Other than your best friend, does anybody else know about this? He isn't your boyfriend.
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