luvlost88 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Well, me and my ex have been broken up now for a little over 3 months, he initiated NC on me without warning for 4 weeks now (after I begged and begged him to come back) Before this we would text every day since the break up and hang out at least once a week. We always had amazing times when we would hang out and he always left the door open for a possible reconciliation down the road, but said I needed to work on bettering my attitude first (I was really nasty at times and he put up with ALOT before he left) Now just this weekend he poked me on facebook (he never deleted me off his friends list or deleted the picture he has of us together) and I didn't respond. The next day he posted the picture of 2 skeletons holding each other that said "true love never dies" this was always our picture when we were together. I still haven't responded but have noticed him on facebook alot lately liking random things.. which is not like him.. does anyone out there think he may be doing this all to get a reaction out of me? Also he knows I have his facebook log in info and has never attempted to change his password. Theres nothing in the world I want more than to have another shot with him, however I don't want to misread anything and end up looking desperate again like I did before I was begging him to come back. Does anyone have any ideas of what to do?
Trep Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Well, me and my ex have been broken up now for a little over 3 months, he initiated NC on me without warning for 4 weeks now (after I begged and begged him to come back) Before this we would text every day since the break up and hang out at least once a week. We always had amazing times when we would hang out and he always left the door open for a possible reconciliation down the road, but said I needed to work on bettering my attitude first (I was really nasty at times and he put up with ALOT before he left) Now just this weekend he poked me on facebook (he never deleted me off his friends list or deleted the picture he has of us together) and I didn't respond. The next day he posted the picture of 2 skeletons holding each other that said "true love never dies" this was always our picture when we were together. I still haven't responded but have noticed him on facebook alot lately liking random things.. which is not like him.. does anyone out there think he may be doing this all to get a reaction out of me? Also he knows I have his facebook log in info and has never attempted to change his password. Theres nothing in the world I want more than to have another shot with him, however I don't want to misread anything and end up looking desperate again like I did before I was begging him to come back. Does anyone have any ideas of what to do? He's just giving you breadcrumbs to see if you bite which will boost his own ego. If he wants to reconcile and get back together then he will try contact you in any way, shape or form he can and beg for you to take him back. Until he does this, don't respond.
pickflicker Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Yep, this is called 'fishing'. He's posting things in order to get you to bite, so that he retains the upper hand. It's game-playing. Don't fall for it. Block him from your Facebook.
Author luvlost88 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 By the way.. I forgot to mention he was the dumper… not me.
StGeorge22 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Agree with trep. Last year me and my ex played this game on and off for 12 months. I think the want a reaction to see if u are still with someone else. As long as you are still an option they are happy, but yeah if he really wanted to be with you he would just come out with it if he was that scared of losing you. My advice would be don't give into it, let him chase you if he is serious. Keep dating etc, worst thing I did was get sucked into the breadcrumbs and not see other people only to get ditched
Author luvlost88 Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 is there any chance these may be little attempts for him to start contact with me again and by not replying I am making him think I don't care to reconcile anymore? All I want is second chance to make things right and we have already been in no contact for 32 days. (as of valentines day) It is exactly a week now since he posted these pictures and poked me and I still have not replied.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 is there any chance these may be little attempts for him to start contact with me again and by not replying I am making him think I don't care to reconcile anymore? All I want is second chance to make things right and we have already been in no contact for 32 days. (as of valentines day) It is exactly a week now since he posted these pictures and poked me and I still have not replied. No, if he wants to reconcile he'll make it known. If he gives up right away, he didn't want it in the first place.
spiritofjosh Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 No, if he wants to reconcile he'll make it known. If he gives up right away, he didn't want it in the first place. I hope I'm not being rude interrupting on this thread but my following question may give the OP some insight if I get an answer...but, how often have you really seen an ex come out of nowhere declaring how much they want to reconcile without some form of catching up first? I read through this thread because I'm in a similar situation, only my ex girlfriend broke up with me and 3 months later after me going NC she started texting and the Facebook thing very similar to what the OP here has mentioned..."breadcrumbs" as you all claim. Perhaps everybody is right and since your ex hasn't come clean from the start that he is only playing a game with you. But I'd like to see more justification as to how often an ex who hypothetically may want to reconcile has made the first attempt at contact immediately stating they want reconciliation? From experience within the past two years I have dated a girl and dumped her, but a month later "eased" my presence to slowly build up contact between us so we can speak comfortably. The thought of texting/messaging/calling her to say how I'd like to get back together with her simply made no sense. I felt any rational response from her would of been "where did that come from?" After talking for a week or two minimum I'd then tell her that I missed her and would like to see where it could go from there, logically this just seems like the better route. But apparently what I just described are considered breadcrumbs? I just see it so often that I had to jump on her and half ask where this black and white theory really comes from and that maybe the OP's ex is moving slowly and getting comfortable with contact first. I apologize if it seems like I hijacked your thread.
Author luvlost88 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Thats what I thought as I know my ex boyfriend was never the type to play games with people like that. I originally thought these were little attempts to work his way slowly back into contact because I do know he would not just come out and say how much he misses me due to him being afraid he would just feed MY ego. However due to the other responses I received on this thread I have not replied or responded to his "efforts" at whatever he was after. I was going to give it a few more weeks than maybe just "poke" him back on facebook since he's one that initially poked me. It has been over 6 weeks since we last had any type of contact and about 3 weeks since his poking and posting. I'm still not exactly sure what is in my best interest here.
lvroflife Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 He could be throwing breadcrumbs because he is afraid to tell you he wants to reconcile. But he is afraid you won't take him back. You know him better then us. See what his motives are, but proceed with caution. Make him work for you, but don't ignore him. BOTTOM LINE: DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT.
TaraMaiden Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 He could be throwing breadcrumbs because he is afraid to tell you he wants to reconcile. But he is afraid you won't take him back. You know him better then us. See what his motives are, but proceed with caution. Make him work for you, but don't ignore him. BOTTOM LINE: DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT. No. Don't. Because right now, your 'heart' is screaming at you that responding is 'right' whereas common sense and logic has made you come here and ask us - and we're telling you - with hindsight, personal experience and evidence from oh-so-many-other-hundreds of broken hearts - that it's 'wrong'. What your heart is telling you is driven by emotional desire. What your Mind is telling you, is that you know deep down, response is superfluous, hurtful to you, and really not necessary. Stick with it. Stick with us. You'll be fine. 2
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