Buriel Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 As a young twenty something I have been sold the following story time and time again: "Guy goes to college party with buddies. The group mingles around and through x, y, or z Guy meets Girl. Guy and Girl go through a few sarcastic and witty exchanges. Maybe they even get separated for a period of time at the party, but then rejoin toward the nights end. At this point Guy expresses some form of invitation for the girl to come home with him. Girl either complies with or denies the offer. If she complies with it, then they go home together. Guy strips girl down revealing a 10/10 body to go along with her 10/10 face. Guy and Girl have sex. The End." Now maybe it's because I went to a mostly male-dominant college, but I find this story to be extremely rare. I would venture to say 90% of the times that I have gone to a party my guy friends would come back without a girl. The times that they did come back with a girl they were usually not so attractive, and probably only participating in a random hook-up due to a self-esteem problem. However, I am sure there are girls who actually enjoy this type of situation that are exceptionally good-looking. My point is that I never see any extremely hot "blow your doors off" women go home with a random guy at a party. Never seen it once although I'm sure it happens sometimes. Typically the really hot girls at parties are already spoken for by some other guy of equal attractiveness. This whole hookup situation leads me to believe that I am missing out on something by being in a relationship even though my experiences have taught me otherwise. Anyone else have this type of experience with hookup culture? Anyone else experiencing the sexual confusion that it imposes upon a male in his 20s?
somedude81 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I've been at my college for about 5 years and I've only been to one party, and that was put on by a campus club. I've never experienced the hookup culture. 1
Antenna_Of_Destiny Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Glorified myth, with the limited participants being the "loudest" if you will. The image we have of baby boomers and generation x's being chaste outside of committed, exclusive relationships is largely a romanticized mythology as well. By some scientific accounts, students are having less sex these days than a generation ago. "We find no evidence of substantial changes in sexual behavior that would support the proposition that there is a new pervasive ‘hookup culture’ among contemporary college students,” the University of Portland study concludes." College students today having less sex than a generation ago | Toronto Star
sir Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I went to a very small campus with a bar/club on site and honestly you could probably connect about 70% of the people via sexual partners in some dirty sex tree diagram. There was definitely a 'hookup culture'/ casual sex thing at my University. However, I didn't take part.. I met my girlfriend early on at University and have stayed with her since and now that I've graduated and left I can happily say I missed out on nothing by not taking part in the hookup culture. Whereas a lot of the guys and girls have notches on their bedpost, I have a 3 year relationship still going strong. It comes down to your preference I guess.. I'm happy.
veggirl Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I went to a party school on the west coast. Hook up culture was huge and yes both sexes were very attractive on the whole.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Went to college for 5 years. Never experienced the "hookup culture". I only know one guy who was able to consistently get hookups, and ironically he's now married with a kid. Were it not for the internet I'd think the hookup culture was a myth. IMO, if you don't go through that "hookup" phase of life you are stunting your growth as an individual and it will make it harder to get dates and develop romantic relationships as you get older. Experience it now while you can...
CrystalCastles Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 IMO, if you don't go through that "hookup" phase of life you are stunting your growth as an individual and it will make it harder to get dates and develop romantic relationships as you get older. Experience it now while you can... I disagree. I probably live under a rock but no one I know has been sleeping around at my uni and none of my friends are into banging randoms at bars. I think such a lack of self control is disgusting. Most of my friends are in LTRs. So banging randoms doesn't get you an LTR in the end. 2
ASG Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I've never been to a college party. But I go to parties. And that exact scenario has happened to me. Even 2 weeks ago, I went to a friend's bday party, met a guy there, we exchanged witty remarks, got separated during the party, met back up at some point, exchanged more wittiness, blah blah blah, left together, went to mine. No sex though, cause I chickened out and he ended up not making a move, for which I was grateful, but... yeah! It happens. Now, I wouldn't say I'm a 10/10. But Im fairly attractive and have no self esteem issues.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I disagree. I probably live under a rock but no one I know has been sleeping around at my uni and none of my friends are into banging randoms at bars. I think such a lack of self control is disgusting. Most of my friends are in LTRs. So banging randoms doesn't get you an LTR in the end. Well, I don't hook up. And I've also never been in a LTR. In fact, I've never even kissed a girl. It's a lot easier to go from hooking up to settling down than to go from nothing to settling down. Better to stick with the easy path...
CrystalCastles Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 It's a lot easier to go from hooking up to settling down than to go from nothing to settling down. Better to stick with the easy path... Er, I disagree with that too. F*cking randoms isn't a requirement to get into a relationship. In fact, as a woman who gets a lot of male attention, I tend to be attracted most to men who have NOT slept around, but rather focused on hobbies and school, and waited for the right one. Finding out you're girl #61 is kind of a turnoff actually. It's also a difficult transition to go from banging randoms to an LTR. The two situations are quite different. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Er, I disagree with that too. F*cking randoms isn't a requirement to get into a relationship. In fact, as a woman who gets a lot of male attention, I tend to be attracted most to men who have NOT slept around, but rather focused on hobbies and school, and waited for the right one. Finding out you're girl #61 is kind of a turnoff actually. It's also a difficult transition to go from banging randoms to an LTR. The two situations are quite different. If you say so. I look around and what's around me is quite different. I'm not saying you have to hook up. Merely that, when comparing people who hooked up to those who didn't, I know which camp I'd rather be in.
Haydn Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I was pretty bad for this at uni. They were not called hook ups in my day. More like `bunk ups`. But yes between the ages of 19-22, i was dangerously attractive and by all accounts so were they. As a young twenty something I have been sold the following story time and time again: "Guy goes to college party with buddies. The group mingles around and through x, y, or z Guy meets Girl. Guy and Girl go through a few sarcastic and witty exchanges. Maybe they even get separated for a period of time at the party, but then rejoin toward the nights end. At this point Guy expresses some form of invitation for the girl to come home with him. Girl either complies with or denies the offer. If she complies with it, then they go home together. Guy strips girl down revealing a 10/10 body to go along with her 10/10 face. Guy and Girl have sex. The End." Now maybe it's because I went to a mostly male-dominant college, but I find this story to be extremely rare. I would venture to say 90% of the times that I have gone to a party my guy friends would come back without a girl. The times that they did come back with a girl they were usually not so attractive, and probably only participating in a random hook-up due to a self-esteem problem. However, I am sure there are girls who actually enjoy this type of situation that are exceptionally good-looking. My point is that I never see any extremely hot "blow your doors off" women go home with a random guy at a party. Never seen it once although I'm sure it happens sometimes. Typically the really hot girls at parties are already spoken for by some other guy of equal attractiveness. This whole hookup situation leads me to believe that I am missing out on something by being in a relationship even though my experiences have taught me otherwise. Anyone else have this type of experience with hookup culture? Anyone else experiencing the sexual confusion that it imposes upon a male in his 20s?
MissBee Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 As a young twenty something I have been sold the following story time and time again: "Guy goes to college party with buddies. The group mingles around and through x, y, or z Guy meets Girl. Guy and Girl go through a few sarcastic and witty exchanges. Maybe they even get separated for a period of time at the party, but then rejoin toward the nights end. At this point Guy expresses some form of invitation for the girl to come home with him. Girl either complies with or denies the offer. If she complies with it, then they go home together. Guy strips girl down revealing a 10/10 body to go along with her 10/10 face. Guy and Girl have sex. The End." Now maybe it's because I went to a mostly male-dominant college, but I find this story to be extremely rare. I would venture to say 90% of the times that I have gone to a party my guy friends would come back without a girl. The times that they did come back with a girl they were usually not so attractive, and probably only participating in a random hook-up due to a self-esteem problem. However, I am sure there are girls who actually enjoy this type of situation that are exceptionally good-looking. My point is that I never see any extremely hot "blow your doors off" women go home with a random guy at a party. Never seen it once although I'm sure it happens sometimes. Typically the really hot girls at parties are already spoken for by some other guy of equal attractiveness. This whole hookup situation leads me to believe that I am missing out on something by being in a relationship even though my experiences have taught me otherwise. Anyone else have this type of experience with hookup culture? Anyone else experiencing the sexual confusion that it imposes upon a male in his 20s? The hook up culture seemed to only be popular among certain people. I'm not into casual sex so I've never participated in the hookup culture, but even my friends who were a bit more into that didn't go home with men they just met. So maybe that does prove your theory that hot women don't do it lol. However, I am tired of people assuming if a woman looks good she MUST not be single, when that's not true. In any case, I'm not into the hookup culture and when I went to college parties I didn't pay too much attention to who was going home with who. I just know in my circle it wasn't a thing that happened a lot. I had one friend who we went out of town for a concert and stayed with a couple friends who went to college in that town and she did end up going home with one of their friends she had just met at a club that night. But besides that I can't really think of other instances of this. Say more about sexual confusion and males please.
Woggle Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I don't know how many people are doing it vs talking but it does seem that if you are not into it people consider you some kind of lame freak.
OpheliaSong Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I went to an Ivy League School so I was busy uh, studying and working. There were some hookups which meant more than in elementary but less than in high school. I just live my life and don't worry about what others are doing.
Author Buriel Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Say more about sexual confusion and males please. Well I think it's no secret that both sexes are under some sort of pressure to have sex a certain way. Guys are told we are either too sensitive or too rough. A guy that's not sexually active with a women must be getting it from a guy. Images play with our standards of what defines an attractive woman and makes it hard to be attracted to anything else after prolonged exposure. It's stuff like that that causes sexual confusion in people let alone men. Being pulled in many different directions like that creates more noise when figuring out what direction you truly want to go in. I know plenty of men that just aren't into random hookups. I know just as many, if not more, that are. The concern I am expressing is that I see it talked about far more than I see it happens. Either I am missing all the parties where it does happen, or it's indeed exacerbated by hearsay. I don't think that in four years of college parties I missed all the parties where beautiful women went home with my guy friends. I have certainly had opportunities myself, but I never took them. I suppose health class and religion dun me good there. That is not to take away from women in the same position. There are many things wrong with societal pressures on women as well.
2.50 a gallon Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 My college days were back in the 70's, for the most part I had to work every Friday night and every other Saturday night, so I was not able to attend all that many partys. But, yes being able to dance, and being in a fraternity, helped as in many cases I did bring somebody home from a party Better still were still were the disco days of the late 70's. An environment of drinking and shaking their booties to a sexy beat. Being an above average dancer, I could score a partner every night
peruano99 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 It's really common for people to have random hook ups in my college,and it's their life and they can live however they want. I don't judge.
Woggle Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Why do you care so much what other people think of your sex life? The only way they'd know anyway is you broadcast it. You're worrying over nothing. I don't care myself but I do know from what younger people tell me that if you are not a part of the hookup culture you will pretty much be an outcast.
samsungxoxo Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 IMO, if you don't go through that "hookup" phase of life you are stunting your growth as an individual and it will make it harder to get dates and develop romantic relationships as you get older. Experience it now while you can...Actually men with a high-count from random hook-ups truly disgust me. As a very low-count woman, I wouldn't be able to handle it so I'm actually saving my second relationship for an ''Only sex in relationship'' man, not someone you had to have random sex for years to know what he wants.
samsungxoxo Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) Finding out you're girl #61 is kind of a turnoff actually. It's also a difficult transition to go from banging randoms to an LTR. The two situations are quite different.It is disgusting. It would make me think that I'm not very special to him after all and if the relationship doesn't work out, he can easily continue going that sleeping around path till he finds another gf but then, that girl would be probably his 80th :sick: It also be a complete insult to me and my hard work of living a conservative ''Only in a relationship'' lifestyle. It would be priceless for me to be waiting all along for that 2nd relationship for him but he had no problems sleeping around. Even worst and more disturbing if he happens to be one of those hypocritical shamers. Edited February 11, 2014 by samsungxoxo 2
Woggle Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 It is disgusting. It would make me think that I'm not very special to him after all and if the relationship doesn't work out, he can easily continue going that sleeping around path till he finds another gf but then, that girl would be probably his 80th :sick: It also be a complete insult to me and my hard work of living a conservative ''Only in a relationship'' lifestyle. It would be priceless for me to be waiting all along for that 2nd relationship for him but he had no problems sleeping around. Even worst and more disturbing if he happens to be one of those hypocritical shamers. I truly do believe you when you say this but for some other women a man being able to get 61 women to sleep with him makes him that much more attractive. I really do hope you find your sexually conservative man and you appreciate him when you do find him. 3
Tayken Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I truly do believe you when you say this but for some other women a man being able to get 61 women to sleep with him makes him that much more attractive. I really do hope you find your sexually conservative man and you appreciate him when you do find him. You are right....these girls / women want to be able to say he is with me now
Woggle Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You are right....these girls / women want to be able to say he is with me now Why do some people deny this when I have seen it time and time again with my own eyes? 1
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