carhill Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 OP, when you state the perspective below, it appears you have clearly identified your reasonable requirement: "Personally I feel what I do for a living doesn't play a factor in what makes for a meaningful relationship. " Tip: When encountering potentials who do not demonstrate compliance with this requirement, accept that as reality, without examining the reasons or fairness of their non-compliance, and move on. Spend your valuable moments of life with people with whom you do find synergy. The rest don't care, and that's OK. It's a really good life lesson. Care less, yourself, about people in general and care more about those with whom you find synergy and who match up with your requirements. Another great life lesson I learned from being married and I thank my exW for it. 1
GoreSP Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She ended up being with a banker that made 1 mil / year. Not very physically attracted to him though. Last she told me she was training him to pamper her like a princess. Errr. I think you dodged a bullet there...
soccerrprp Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Errr. I think you dodged a bullet there... Absolutely. I still have a hard time believing that there are people like that in this world. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 l think that it's a fair expectation. I will speak for myself to say that the career matters in a way summed up by far more than the money earned from it. There are plenty of jobs a guy can have where he earns a decent or even a great amount but are essentially one where the guy punches a clock or moves things from here to there. I just could never see myself with someone that is satisfied with that mentally even if financially we could have virtually the same lifestyle. Goes the same for someone who inherits a trust fund but just lives of it, loafing around, rather than doing something more productive with their time. It just seems like a bit of the easy way out or a different set of priorities than mine and while it's not for me, I respect people with those kinds of jobs in general. Does that make sense? Since a guy gets so much of his sense of worth from his profession, someone who is engaged with his career and always striving to progress and would have a variety of stories for me is what interests me. That's just my preference. It goes with who I am and how I live my life. Also I have a good career, so someone who is balance with mine is just what I think will have the best chance of success long-term. And of course, money does play a part to the extent--again, it's about balance. I think long-term who I am likes nice things and wants to keep progressing in life in many ways including financially. While my income allows me to do that, a person who viewed life similarly and would not resent me or be out of balance with because of that goal, is best for me. Someone with similar goals is really what that "requirement" is about because if you don't have that you are headed for problems. Having discussed this issue with friends of mine, I know that many of us feel this way--for the reasons I said above. It's not really the money part or a golddigging thing, although it's perceived like that often; it's that we want guys to be the best and fullest potential that they can be. That's attractive.
Author NYSean Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Absolutely. I still have a hard time believing that there are people like that in this world. She hated it when I said she was a gold-digger. She would use the argument of "there is nothing wrong with being attracted to status". "Taking care of a woman is a man's job, if he can't provide for her then he's not a man" So I once asked her what she has to offer for men she told me "I'm beautiful, I have a great body and I offer good sex and stimulating conversation...that's more than enough" I think this is where I would draw the line...
GoreSP Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She hated it when I said she was a gold-digger. She would use the argument of "there is nothing wrong with being attracted to status". "Taking care of a woman is a man's job, if he can't provide for her then he's not a man" So I once asked her what she has to offer for men she told me "I'm beautiful, I have a great body and I offer good sex and stimulating conversation...that's more than enough" I think this is where I would draw the line... lol have you told her this is the definition of a gold-digger? 1
Copelandsanity Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 It's a reasonable requirement. I think any person - man or woman - who has ambition or has worked hard to build a good career wants someone similar to them. I've been with girls who didn't have much of ambition and I've determined that it's a huge turn-off. I believe it's a fundamental aspect of happiness to have a purpose to reach for. Even if one doesn't have the right job for them right now, he/she is still working towards pursuing that purpose. 1
Author NYSean Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 lol have you told her this is the definition of a gold-digger? Yes, she said she's not...her defense is that she has her own job and makes her own money. It gets worse, she used to make her boyfriends clean her bathroom because she doesn't like cleaning it herself. She dumped guys in the past because she felt she was taken for granted when he doesn't hear from her successful-hardworking exes for 1-2 weeks because they were really busy with their job.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I think it's a reasonable requirement. I think I care about a man's job/career less than most women, because my priority is finding true love with a strong bond, closeness, and mutual support. But other women (and men) have a more practical approach to love, and finances are certainly a practical consideration.
GoreSP Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Yes, she said she's not...her defense is that she has her own job and makes her own money. It gets worse, she used to make her boyfriends clean her bathroom because she doesn't like cleaning it herself. She dumped guys in the past because she felt she was taken for granted when he doesn't hear from her successful-hardworking exes for 1-2 weeks because they were really busy with their job. Wow. That girl must think she gives better blowjobs than an vacuum...
Author NYSean Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Wow. That girl must think she gives better blowjobs than an vacuum... Well she said that if the men were not satisfied with how she does things they can leave at any time because there were men waiting in line to be with her.
oldshirt Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She ended up being with a banker that made 1 mil / year. Not very physically attracted to him though. Last she told me she was training him to pamper her like a princess. If they get married and have a couple kids, he will be on this site in a couple years whining on how he makes a good living, does all the work around the house for her and she hasn't touched him in a year and says she's too busy and under too much stress to deal with his needs.
oldshirt Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Well she said that if the men were not satisfied with how she does things they can leave at any time because there were men waiting in line to be with her. They are while she's young and cute and putting out. As long as she is young and firm enough and is putting on a good enough act, they will be lining up. However once she can't hold up the act anymore and stops putting out, they'll dump her for someone who will. And if she ever gets fat and stretchmarked and has a bunch of kids she's dragging around, they won't be lined up any longer. 1
Author NYSean Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 They are while she's young and cute and putting out. As long as she is young and firm enough and is putting on a good enough act, they will be lining up. However once she can't hold up the act anymore and stops putting out, they'll dump her for someone who will. And if she ever gets fat and stretchmarked and has a bunch of kids she's dragging around, they won't be lined up any longer. She had it all planned out, she doesn't want kids -- she understands that her beauty holds power so she keeps herself in shape everyday. I once looked in her fridge and the ONLY thing she had in there was 2 bottles of water and a freezer FULL of Lean Cuisine.
Copelandsanity Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She had it all planned out, she doesn't want kids -- she understands that her beauty holds power so she keeps herself in shape everyday. I once looked in her fridge and the ONLY thing she had in there was 2 bottles of water and a freezer FULL of Lean Cuisine. That's an unusual philosophy. Normally, someone like her would want kids because that would mean a better divorce settlement, which would now include child support. And since the nanny takes care of the kids, she can continue to live out her permanent vacation of a life.
hasaquestion Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) I recently met a woman who told me one of the important things she wants out of a man is that he has a good job. I understand wanting to date men WITH a job, but there are some people who feel when women say things like "I want a man with a good career" it rubs them off the wrong way. Some have gone far to call them a gold-digger. Personally I feel what I do for a living doesn't play a factor in what makes for a meaningful relationship. What are your opinions on this? I recently met a man who told me one of the important things he wants out of a women is that she is beautiful. I understand wanting to date women who are not terminally out of shape and balding, but there are some people who feel that when men say things like "I want a beautiful woman" it rubs them off the wrong way. Some have gone far to call them shallow. Personally, I feel how I look doesn't play a factor in what makes for a meaningful relationship. What are your opinions on this? Edited February 10, 2014 by hasaquestion
Poppygoodwill Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Well she said that if the men were not satisfied with how she does things they can leave at any time because there were men waiting in line to be with her. And she's probably right.
GoreSP Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 That's an unusual philosophy. Normally, someone like her would want kids because that would mean a better divorce settlement, which would now include child support. And since the nanny takes care of the kids, she can continue to live out her permanent vacation of a life. Not only that - what happens when the rich men she is dating do want kids? Oh.
Author NYSean Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 I recently met a man who told me one of the important things he wants out of a women is that she is beautiful. I understand wanting to date women who are not terminally out of shape and balding, but there are some people who feel that when men say things like "I want a beautiful woman" it rubs them off the wrong way. Some have gone far to call them shallow. Personally, I feel how I look doesn't play a factor in what makes for a meaningful relationship. What are your opinions on this? Oh COMPLETELY reasonable. Definitely without a question, Kappa.
hasaquestion Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Oh COMPLETELY reasonable. Definitely without a question, Kappa. It goes both ways. Women are entitled to be superficial and chase the "best" man they can find, just like men are entitled to turn down women they don't have the hots for. Complaining about it is unfair to women.
ascendotum Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She had it all planned out, she doesn't want kids -- she understands that her beauty holds power so she keeps herself in shape everyday. I once looked in her fridge and the ONLY thing she had in there was 2 bottles of water and a freezer FULL of Lean Cuisine. She's a total gold digger. Its not about providing for the security of her children or allowing her to take time off her career to raise children, its simply all about so she can drop out of the workforce early and have a good lifestyle. She could have found a guy on a fraction of her husbands income who could provide enough with her income to enjoy a good lifestyle with no kids. Her banker husband if he decides to not play along with her princess way of life plans will lose half his assets to her down the line. Who knows if she is banging her tennis coach or masseuse or gardener on the side. She just thinks she's entitled to the best. If the guy is blinded by her looks to overlook her attitude well then no one can complain (unless she put on a different persona for him earlier on)
FitChick Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 What if his goals is to travel the world, to take classes to learn new things and his "crappy" job can sustain all of that. If his career isn't an ambition but just simply a means to finance the life he wants to live and it so happens that being a manager at McDonalds is sufficient...would that be fine? It's fine if you plan to remain single.
Thegreatestthing Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 For me personally it's not important ,I suppose if I was having kids or something it might be,but I prefer artistic types,vagabonds etc who are following their own paths,rebels etc rather than advertising execs and other professionals.I always feel so uncomfortable with those types,so can't imagine being in a relationship with one. It's like that film reality bytes where Winona's character chooses the philosophical penniless newsstand guy or whatever he was over the ad exec guy. Reality Bites (1994) - IMDb Breakfast at Tiffany's is the same sort of thing. I recently met a woman who told me one of the important things she wants out of a man is that he has a good job. I understand wanting to date men WITH a job, but there are some people who feel when women say things like "I want a man with a good career" it rubs them off the wrong way. Some have gone far to call them a gold-digger. Personally I feel what I do for a living doesn't play a factor in what makes for a meaningful relationship. What are your opinions on this?
hasaquestion Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She's a total gold digger. Its not about providing for the security of her children or allowing her to take time off her career to raise children, its simply all about so she can drop out of the workforce early and have a good lifestyle. She could have found a guy on a fraction of her husbands income who could provide enough with her income to enjoy a good lifestyle with no kids. Her banker husband if he decides to not play along with her princess way of life plans will lose half his assets to her down the line. Who knows if she is banging her tennis coach or masseuse or gardener on the side. She just thinks she's entitled to the best. If the guy is blinded by her looks to overlook her attitude well then no one can complain (unless she put on a different persona for him earlier on) Maybe she has a point. I don't think its admirable to be the way she is at all. As a matter of fact its pretty pathetic. But whatever she gets, she's earned it. She earned that rich husband and lifestyle. He could have had someone else and he chose her.
ascendotum Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Maybe she has a point. I don't think its admirable to be the way she is at all. As a matter of fact its pretty pathetic. But whatever she gets, she's earned it. She earned that rich husband and lifestyle. He could have had someone else and he chose her. No she hasn't earned them. She managed to secure him, so she gets to enjoy the fruits of his success as she should being his wife. He was the one who went to university and grad school and had the smarts and ambition and Machiavellian instincts to work his way up the corporate ladder to earn a colossal income. She is only in this picture because she was blessed with good looks thanks to her parents/grand parents. Okay yes she diets to keep her figure which is her money maker. Yes she beat out the competition to get the ring on her finger. Good on her, she got what she wanted (except for a guy she is passionate about) so I can't knock her if she is upfront about it, but she has not earned her million $ life. I know a girl who wanted to marry an airline pilot. She used to hang out at the bars at & near the airport and chat up and sleep with the pilots. (she had an alibi for why she was there) She had a handful of relationships with them, but didn't get the ring on her finger and still hasn't. Pretty tacky to base a marriage on a person's job imo. I guess it doesn't matter if that truly makes her happy but the guy would love to know the truth (and some might not care)
Recommended Posts