kindofsad Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I am 8 months post break up, about 2 months into NC. I have blocked my ex on FB within the first few weeks and most of her family and friends. However we still have mutual friends and I am pretty sure that she comments on their status because I can see "7 comments" but I can only read 6. I am driving myself crazy over this and it might not even be true!! The thing is I had some friends, we would see them occasionally (maybe once a year as they lived in a different city), but contact was always through me. Now the friends have moved to a city where I know my ex intends to move to, it sounds really silly writing it down but she is obviously trying to be friendly to them because of this, if they didn't live where they do I have doubts she would bother being in touch, (if she is in touch as this could be in my imagination!). I blocked my friends in my newsfeed but I am drawn to looking at their profile and checking how many comments are made. Its not as if they are great friends by any means but it really really bugs me that my ex is being friendly to them. uggh. I feel such a mess sometimes, I know I should not care and I should not let this hurt me, I wish I could just let it go.
The Situation Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Facebook / social media won't do you any favours. Avoid it for a while if you can, it'll really help!
k10k Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Yea, playing detective on facebook is not going to give you any magical answers that will make you feel any better. Why not log off of facebook for awhile and see if you can find something else to occupy your mind? And just be patient and kind to yourself, it will get easier! 2
Riou Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Then perhaps you should block the mutual friends as well.In my case,i did not bother with facebook since i don't read her facebook anyway but as time goes by i realise what kind of person she is and deleted her off my friend list when i had the chance.Moral of the story: One day you wouldn't even care to have her in your life. Right now you are just overthinking everything.Your checking of comments is stalking in a way and you need to stop.
hea Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Why don't you come off facebook for a while? The more your on there the more you will look and be hurt by whatever is put. And the more you look the longer it will take for you to move on and let go. Because your constantly reminding yourself of her. Your not doing yourself any favours what so ever. She is entitled to have friends just as you are. 8 months is a long time to still be this hurt by everything and anything. So what if she comments? Is she not allowed to have a voice anymore? If you try to go on just stop and ask yourself, by knowing what she/her mum/her best mate/your best mate/her dog is up too, your only hurting yourself. What you don't know doesn't hurt you and its this way you should be thinking, at least until you've got some of your sanity back.
SadNLonley Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Damn FaceBook. I haven't spoke with my ex since November, but I've looked at his FB twice since Christmas. I just want to see what he is up to. He is still friends with my brother in law only, and my daughter is still friends with his nieces. Luckily the kids dont really use FB anymore so i shouldn't see anything from them, but Im very careful not to dig into my BIL's page or posts because I dont want to see my exes name pop up. Both times I felt absolutely horrible the next day. It just rips me a part that Im not part of his life anymore. Im trying to be strong, but its hard. If I cant stop, then I have no choice but to block him so I dont have to worry about it. Social media is horrible for these issues. Either stay strong and avoid seeing anything about them or do the BLOCK. Good luck.
Author kindofsad Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Thanks guys. Its not something I am proud of or would even admit to people around me. I check facebook daily, I need to change my routine and not spend time on there. Its like I have developed a really bad habit, I feel better for just releasing my guilty secret and seeing the answer is so simple and clear.
wistfulgirl Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I've logged out of FB since 1st Jan, since I'm nit strong enough yet to not look for these things and read into them. I slipped up last week and looked, which has massively set back my recovery. I used to be a FB addict but realise how unhealthy it is for me at the moment and only causes more pain and confusion so don't miss it at all now. Think you'll feel better if you take a break. Perhaps just log out (rather than deactivate) if you don't want to give up all hope of her contacting you on there, so any message will still get through you just won't read about it until your healed and ready to log in again
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