DL2mer Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Okay, first off I was in love once, just once in my life. It was the greatest I ever felt. We always knew what one another was thinking, she would finish my sentences for me, we never fought. I haven't felt that feeling since. Earlier today I was talking to a group of ladies. They were all complaining about how hard it was being in love. How everyday was a struggle. It seemed as if their love lives were a swinging pendulum of games. Yet I felt as though they were hinting about a strange relationship I'm having with a mutal friend. My question to you all, do the rest of you have to struggle with your partner, is it really this hard? Did I just have that once in a lifetime relationship previously, and now do I have to sacrifice my own happiness to be in a relationship? I'm really confused at this point. If being in a relationship is this hard I feel as I haven't really missed much being alone over the years.
Grumpybutfun Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Okay, first off I was in love once, just once in my life. It was the greatest I ever felt. We always knew what one another was thinking, she would finish my sentences for me, we never fought. I haven't felt that feeling since. Earlier today I was talking to a group of ladies. They were all complaining about how hard it was being in love. How everyday was a struggle. It seemed as if their love lives were a swinging pendulum of games. Yet I felt as though they were hinting about a strange relationship I'm having with a mutal friend. My question to you all, do the rest of you have to struggle with your partner, is it really this hard? Did I just have that once in a lifetime relationship previously, and now do I have to sacrifice my own happiness to be in a relationship? I'm really confused at this point. If being in a relationship is this hard I feel as I haven't really missed much being alone over the years. No, it isn't hard when you have two well adjusted and mature people in a healthy dynamic. It is easy being in love with someone who respects and values you and your ideas and beliefs. You feel like it is you two against the world. They are your biggest support, your biggest fan, your most fun friend, the sexual partner that makes you crazy and satisfied, and your soft place to fall when things get challenging in life. You can't wait to see them walk through the door, you know they would do everything in their power not to hurt you, and they believe in you when you follow your dreams and aspirations. They want better for you and you want better for them. They hold you to a higher standard because they know that you can reach greatness and have the value system they share so you do not lie or cheat or do anything you can't do in front of their faces behind their backs. They are gentle with you because they know they hold your heart in their hands. They are dependable and reliable and are exactly where they say they are going to be right at that time. They do not take you for granted regardless of how long you have been together. They want to be pretty for you and make sure they stay healthy so they can live beside you for many more years. If they do have issues they get help as soon as possible and let you assist in any way they need. When you are in love the whole world could be crumbling around you and if that person is with you, all is well in the world. Of course, life sometimes throws some hurdles at you but it would be the same if you were in love or not. There is some work that has to be done to put egos aside and to communicate with one another. It is my observation that love is only hard if the two people involved are self centered, immature, have no impulse control, don't know who they are as individuals, give up themselves for the other, lies, cheats, manipulates, has childhood issues not dealt with, has addictions, settled for less, is a bottomless pit of need, is sexist or holds the other sex to be the enemy, or is trying to change the other person because of some ideal. Hope this helps, Grumps 4
Silly_Girl Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I've experienced love that was a roller coaster, that frightened me at times. That was passionate and amazing and would leave me the happiest person in the whole world, bar none, and I believed everyone else should be jealous of how amazing I felt. But that feeling wasn't consistent.... Love isn't like that for me now. Now love is safe, and funny, and so very warm. It's supportive, reliable, consistent. It's sometimes subtle and gentle and sometimes makes my heart soar. It's exciting, not because of the dynamic between us; it's exciting because our lives are so full of opportunities because of what we can achieve together and what we bring to each other. My own life, the bits I do on my own, by myself, is better because I am able to focus fully when I am there, and know I have my relationship to come back to. Love is brutally naked, for me, open and honest, however hard that might be at times. But it's worth it. I'm a big fan of love :love: 1
SadNLonley Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 The love I feel/felt for my ex was just amazing. Being in the same room with him, my mood was instantly better. I felt lucky to have found this person that literally made my heart swell. As a couple you feel like you can rule the world together. The few arguments we had didnt last. I didn't like the feeling I had in my chest when we argued. I became so sad. I typically hold grudges and can be mad for days, but with him i couldn't do it. I needed to make sure we were good afterwards. Its such a wonderful feeling. I hope I get to feel it again someday. 1
BradJacobs Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Frightened, excited and alive. It wakes up a part of me that I have shared with very few people. 1
kodakgirl Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I remember the feeling that the world was a better place because he was in it. I remember, when we were apart, wanting to experience beautiful things twice as much so I could share the experience with him. I remember feeling known and cared about. I remember feeling that I wasn't alone. I remember feeling more in love with him every single day, for almost three years. Being in love was not hard. Some things that happened along the way were hard and the end was very hard, but the love was not hard. 1
der Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Ladies. Could one of your help me figure it out. I forgot.
Author DL2mer Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Thanks for the feedback everyone. I guess some people think they are in love, or maybe wanna be in love so bad that they except bad relationships as love.
newmoon Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 for a while I thought love was the passionate roller-coaster experience, including the heated arguments and make-ups and the feelings of absolute joy just looking at your partner. but, I have since learned that is just passion/lust and not the true definition of love. love, as I've come to learn, is steady and consistent - not up and down - and it still has its fights, but in a much different way, a respectful one. you stop the games you played before and you just feel safe and supported for who you are at all times. it's complete acceptance. now that I have it I'm stunned at what I believed it to be in the past. 1
Author DL2mer Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Thanks new moon, I'm glad I experienced the real thing in the past. My past experiences have helped me see what is real now and what is fake. I've avoided some bad relationships recently but felt that maybe I'm expecting to much, that maybe most people don't get what I had and that I might be missing out on what life is offering me. 1
2.50 a gallon Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I have only been in love three times, once for a year plus with my ex-fiancé, and about 4 years later when I married. Which lasted a whole six months. I was 35 when we separated, and I moved on in life, swearing to never be so stupid as to fall in love again. That did not mean that I gave up on my dating life, instead daily I built my rebarred walls thicker and higher, so that whenever I should spot love walking down the street and head towards my door, I was out the back door, down the alley and miles away before love could knock on my door. I was totally happy living alone, doing what I wanted, with whom ever I wanted whenever I wanted. Then one night as I closed in on my 50th year, second date, first kiss, cupid shot me in the tuckass. I had no defense, and my walls were gone in a nanosecond. I was lonely. We have now been together for 18 years plus. I now realize that I spent most of my life on the outside looking in, and I am at long last on the inside looking out. There is a certain peace and harmony to my life that I never had before
SadNLonley Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Then one night as I closed in on my 50th year, second date, first kiss, cupid shot me in the tuckass. I had no defense, and my walls were gone in a nanosecond. I was lonely. We have now been together for 18 years plus. I now realize that I spent most of my life on the outside looking in, and I am at long last on the inside looking out. There is a certain peace and harmony to my life that I never had before Wow, it hit you like that on the 2nd date? It took me a few months, but just like you said. Wham! it hits you. I now know the answer to "is it better to have felt love and lost it or never feel it?" Most definitely lucky to have felt what i did even though that relationship ended. Not sure I will ever feel that love again. Its definitely something to cherish.
carhill Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 How does LOVE make you feel? Very peaceful. Like sitting on the dock with a line in the water and not a care in the world.
tlegend Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 After reading all of your replies....I don't think I've ever truly been in love now. I really dislike the fact that I think my eyes were just opened a bit more today... ='(
Targetlock Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 wish i knew something to look forward to in the future i guess.
2.50 a gallon Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Neil Diamond said it for me And when I hurt hurtin runs off my shoulder how can I hurt while holding you
amaysngrace Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Love makes me feel like I have a warm fuzzy in my belly
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