spaceboy409 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I recently split with my ex a little over a month ago. To kind of clear my head I went and visited family for 2 weeks or so. During that time, I didn't drink, didn't text her, and I was starting to feel somewhat hopeful about the future. I got in late after the plane ride back home so I was forced to stay the night in my old hometown where the ex lives (I had moved to a town 3 hours away shortly before the break up) Anyway, after arriving at the hotel I decided to go down the street to get a drink at bar before I went to sleep. Just my luck, my ex showed up there outta the blue. At first I was like "oh no, I have got to bail" But I hadn't finished my drink so I stuck around for a minute. Sure enough she noticed me and came over and hugged me and even told me she loved me (she was very drunk by the way) drunk or not it really made me feel good and naturally I wanted to talk to her and kind of catch up cause honestly I have been missing this girl like crazy. She didn't seem to want to chat though and began to flirt with several of the bar patrons right in front of me. Then she just up and bolted without saying goodbye. Needless to say I walked back to the hotel in complete shame and feeling depressed beyond belief. After getting back to my room I received a call from a random number. It turned out to be her and she wanted to come to my room and hang out. Feeling as blue as I was I agreed. I waited and waited and waited and she never showed up. I was so upset and sad I literally wanted to down a bottle of pills. Luckily I just sent her some angry text messages instead and went to bed. I woke up to 14 missed calls from her at 4 in the morning and her wanting to go get breakfast. I needed to get home though because the weather was getting bad so I wasn't able to. After arriving home we exchanged a lot of angry texts and I found out she slept with someone while we were broken up (I haven't even kissed another girl) so basically I was feeling good and hopeful and now I feel so down in the dumps all over again. I feel like I took a step backward. I feel so sad and lonely and angry. I haven't been able to eat all day and all Ive done is cry. I'm planning a big move to Denver later this month and im hoping I can get myself to together to be able to do it. I know this was all my fault but any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. :(:(:(:(
Appleness Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 It is never okay to hurt yourself because you feel now that the relationship is over. While everyone handles stress or conflict in various different ways, if you ever feel that you want to swallow pills again, my advice is to maybe call a helpline and talk to a counselor in real time. There's just no way anyone here on LS will reply fast enough to be of any help. That being said, I understand that breakups, in general, are very difficult. I'm glad you found this forum. I believe you can learn a lot if you browsed through some of the pinned threads for how to deal with ending a relationship (the top ones basically, on the page) to see how others are doing and see how they are coping too. This will help you to feel less alone. Keep posting if it'll help you feel better to write things out. For my experience, there are lots of people here going through the same situation and we're all here to help each other though this together.
ithappenedagain Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Hey man. First off, sorry about your luck. She seems pretty cold-hearted if you ask me. I've actually visioned that same scenario in my head. The whole.. What if I am at a bar and I notice her walk in scenario.. I tell myself I would just get up and leave, but truth be told, when you are actually living out the scenario in real life - you don't know how you are going to react! So I really feel your pain. Secondly.. Please don't take this personal, but she sounds kinda slutty... Sorry. had to say it! Consider the breakup, a "blessing in disguise"... Also, if she had actually came to the hotel - I am just gonna assume she would have slept with you.. THANK GOD SHE DIDN'T COME... who knows what diseases she could have. Last, but not least... I live in Denver! So when you get out here, and if you are still hurting, we can go grab some brews and talk about our breakups and more importantly try to find some better girls!!. haha. Keep your head up man! 1
Poppygoodwill Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Seeing the ex after the initial period of NC is always goign to be a shock and throw up a lot of emotion. You got a double dose thanks to her overly-friendly and callous behaviour. You got your hopes up and got pulled in a bit by her drunken stupidity. It's happened to the best of us. The important part is that you found your anger instead of just feeling low and sad, and you expressed it to her. She behaved terribly, and was really insensitive and immature. So you had a step backward. that's fine. There are always steps backward in the long journey away from a breakup. So accept it, try not to beat yourself up about it, resume NC (this is critical), lick your wounds and keep going. One day at a time.
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