Meatpuppet Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Some background info My ex-gf broke up with me 4 months ago saying she loved me but felt the relationship was moving to fast ( together 10 months) and she needed "space" to be by herself and begin to make decisions for herself. We had discussed marriage and were going to move in together once I completed school in May of this year (She had a place and I moved some of my stuff in). She told me during the breakup she thought she may be making a mistake and would regret it but needed to go through with it. She told me she didn't want me to date anyone else several times before we kissed goodbye and she left. We had LC and after a month she began to share with me an accomplishment and said "I really wanted to share it with you because only you could understand because you know me so well." A day later I decided I wanted to meet up with her and talk about "where I was at" regarding our relationship. She reluctantly agreed. So I shared with her my thoughts with no intention of getting back together but really just so she knew where I was at. she was quite cold for the most part but when I had told her my friends asked me when I would be ready to date again and I said I wasn't ready, she said "Good I don't want you to date anyone." She continued to say she need space. I gathered my things and headed to leave and gave her the key I had to her house. After being so could during the discussion she began to cry when I gave her the key and told me she loved me. The day after she texted me saying she wanted me to know that she was thinking about me and I responded in kind. I have been NC with her since (3months). After 1.5 months she contacted a mutual friend and asked about me. Told her she was thinking about contacting me but wasn't ready yet. this was about 1.5 months ago. since that conversation with the mutual friend her birthday past, xmas and my birthday have passed as well and I have maintained NC.We remain fb friends but I don't visit her page or get updates. I'm wondering "where she is at" in terms of contacting me and what such contact would look like. I wonder if she is waiting until she is sure of her feelings to contact me. I know you can't read her mind but perhaps you have experiences similar or some insight to the matter. Thanks for reading
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Some background info My ex-gf broke up with me 4 months ago saying she loved me but felt the relationship was moving to fast ( together 10 months) and she needed "space" to be by herself and begin to make decisions for herself. We had discussed marriage and were going to move in together once I completed school in May of this year (She had a place and I moved some of my stuff in). She told me during the breakup she thought she may be making a mistake and would regret it but needed to go through with it. She told me she didn't want me to date anyone else several times before we kissed goodbye and she left. We had LC and after a month she began to share with me an accomplishment and said "I really wanted to share it with you because only you could understand because you know me so well." A day later I decided I wanted to meet up with her and talk about "where I was at" regarding our relationship. She reluctantly agreed. So I shared with her my thoughts with no intention of getting back together but really just so she knew where I was at. she was quite cold for the most part but when I had told her my friends asked me when I would be ready to date again and I said I wasn't ready, she said "Good I don't want you to date anyone." She continued to say she need space. I gathered my things and headed to leave and gave her the key I had to her house. After being so could during the discussion she began to cry when I gave her the key and told me she loved me. The day after she texted me saying she wanted me to know that she was thinking about me and I responded in kind. I have been NC with her since (3months). After 1.5 months she contacted a mutual friend and asked about me. Told her she was thinking about contacting me but wasn't ready yet. this was about 1.5 months ago. since that conversation with the mutual friend her birthday past, xmas and my birthday have passed as well and I have maintained NC.We remain fb friends but I don't visit her page or get updates. I'm wondering "where she is at" in terms of contacting me and what such contact would look like. I wonder if she is waiting until she is sure of her feelings to contact me. I know you can't read her mind but perhaps you have experiences similar or some insight to the matter. Thanks for reading People are always on different levels after a BU, so I mean, it could be any number of things honestly.
OhThatGirl Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 "Where she is at" ... She's moving on, not tied down to a relationship, able to do whatever she wants, with no expectations while you patiently wait around and see if she comes back to you. It's been 3 months?! Just think.. If she had been a better person she would have made a clean break and allowed you to start healing and moving on. Rather she was too wimpy to do so and has allowed you to hang in the balance waiting to see if she gets lonely enough/strikes out with others and wants to come back. (Only to leave later) Since she has not been fair to you, be fair to yourself. Realize if it was going to happen it would have. Time to quit waiting around for her and start looking for someone who is able to provide what you want. Being a girl, I can tell you when we love and want a future with someone we would never ever break it off while we "found ourselves" and let you go 3 months without contacting us. This is her trying to avoid hurting you (despite the fact it's stringing you along) and keeping you around as an ego boost/fall back plan. Wait for no one. She doesn't want to be with you, find someone that does.
Author Meatpuppet Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Thanks for your insights. i should note that I've refocused my energy after our meeting the month after our break up. I have dated a couple girls since then and was with one the last two months but ended that. school, work, gym, and friends have been my focus. My friend also told me my ex posted a poem shortly after talking with her which I found very confusing and wish I didn't know about it. It is called Always You were you And I was I we were two before our time I was yours before I knew and you always been mine too. I try not to read into it
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Thanks for your insights. i should note that I've refocused my energy after our meeting the month after our break up. I have dated a couple girls since then and was with one the last two months but ended that. school, work, gym, and friends have been my focus. My friend also told me my ex posted a poem shortly after talking with her which I found very confusing and wish I didn't know about it. It is called Always You were you And I was I we were two before our time I was yours before I knew and you always been mine too. I try not to read into it First, that name is awesome lol. I'm not sure why, it just is. It's hard not to think about it obviously, but I wouldn't put too much stock into a poem or whatever, especially stuff that is on the internet. You seem to understand the goals and ideas behind wanting to move forward, and that's a huge part of it. Just keep doing what you're doing which is focusing on you.
David87 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Just block her already on FB and tell your friends not to share with you this kind of things because they se you back.
cybclimb Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 " If she had been a better person she would have made a clean break and allowed you to start healing and moving on. Rather she was too wimpy to do so and has allowed you to hang in the balance waiting to see if she gets lonely enough/strikes out with others and wants to come back. (Only to leave later) This is her trying to avoid hurting you (despite the fact it's stringing you along) and keeping you around as an ego boost/fall back plan. Wait for no one. She doesn't want to be with you, find someone that does. I agree with these statements. She prolly just want to keep you around in case she gets bored or lonely, or get rejected by other men. Thats why I trying hard to keep NC and not be a friend with ex GF. Let her be the one to end up lonely. I told myself that I am prolly closer in meeting girl that would make me really happy than her. Be strong man. Good luck!
Author Meatpuppet Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 .Thanks for your thoughts cybclimb. i remain NC almost 4 months now and won't break it unless she contacts me with something substantial. I've had several experiences with ex gfs reinitiating contact with me and wanting to get back together from as short as a month to as long as 14 months after NC. People are strange 1
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