malxme Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 So I've posted on here a few times before, during previous relationships/breakups. But recently I went out of town for a friends birthday and met an amazing guy. We spent the entire next day together, I stayed at his house (sleeping only..), but then I had to go back to my own city. The thing is, he is moving several hours away from where I met him, for university for another year. We've been talking HEAPS in the week since we met, and I really like him. I can't explain it, he just seems different. He says he feels the same way (although who really knows when it comes to guys...), but we both know he is leaving in about a week and nothing can happen. BUt neither of us want to just forget we met each other. He said to me he comes home every couple of months during uni breaks and wants to see me then. But what does that mean? Am I meant to wait for him, even though I've only spent like two days actually with him? Is that gonna be a LDR? I've had a long distance relationship before, and it was awful. So hard. And I never wanted to do it again, but this guy just seems special. The thought of not getting to see him/talk to him again makes me sad.. Can anyone make any suggestions, or does anyone have a similar situation? I feel like it could be a big mistake to just let him go..
justwhoiam Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 First mistake: hinting at any feelings for him. Too soon, too open. Uncalled for. How can you now know his real feelings, if any? Of course, if he has a chance, as a guy, he's not rejecting you. Especially being single, which he is. Secondly, when he said he would like to see you again when he gets home next time (in 2 months), you could have asked "What do you mean? You think we should see each other as friends? Or were you thinking of dating me casually?" As simple as that.
Author malxme Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 It might have been a bit early to tell him I liked him, but as I said it when I was drunk I couldn't really take it back... Besides, I'm not into playing games. If I like someone, I tell them, I don't play coy or hard to get. And as he made it clear he likes me too, I don't really see it as a mistake..
soccerrprp Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Keep it casual. Don't have a LDR (romantic) with him. Keep dating someone and find someone local. He will be at the university for a year, well, then wait a year and if you're not involved see what happens, but don't put your life on hold.
oldshirt Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 nothing wrong with keeping in touch with him and seeing him when he comes back as long as you don't take yourself off the market and commit to him while he is away. As long as you are still on the market in real life and don't have your life on hold for someone long distance that you've only met once, it's ok to be in touch and see each other when the opportunity arises. 1
justwhoiam Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 as I said it when I was drunk I couldn't really take it back... I see. So you think you made an impression on him by getting drunk the first time he saw you? Because, if I had to guess, I'd say no. Generally speaking, guys are not looking for a girlfriend who associates partying with getting drunk. This is especially true for LDRs, when she's left alone partying. There are lots of threads in here about guys reporting that and how they disapprove of that, or that the girl is out of control, spends the night out barely remembering anything. Maybe your case will turn out a different way, but who knows.
Sandy99 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Long distance relationships are awful in my opinion. Unless you were together for a long period of time, maybe up to a year before the LDR starts I would say don't do it. I have had a few long distance relationships and they always end with one or both parties feeling frustrated because of no end in sight for the LDR to end, it's too expensive to travel back and forth, dread of having a Skype relationship....it's too hard and frustrating. I will never have another long distance relationship. You really have to live close to the person you are dating. You have to be able to build a relationship and spend time with them. If you're only communicating over the phone and seeing each other randomly, at some point somebody is going to get annoyed with this arrangement. It's not a real relationship. Real relationships offer so much more and they are usually enjoyed by people living near each other, who can spend actual time together. Unless you have a plan worked out where you can see this person pretty regularly, and it's not too expensive to do it, don't get into a LDR. That's my advice. They are a big head ache.
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