ithappenedagain Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 (edited) I lasted 18 days of NC. Last Thursday I sent my ex a text asking if I could arrange a time to pickup the last of my belongings from our once shared apartment.. (I moved into a new apartment, and needed my power cord to my 55'' tv and iPad and Laptop) She replied saying that I could come over that night, or I could have my friend pick it up. I ended up having my friend get my stuff - because I didn't want to see her - becayse if I saw her - I KNOW it would have crushed me. Later that night, as I was sitting in bed, I committed the ultimate NO NO. I texted her my reasoning as to why I sent my friend to get the stuff. But it gets worse. The whole text was basically me telling her how much I miss her, how sorry I was for not giving everything I had in the relationship, etc etc etc.. She texted me back telling me that it was ''the hardest thing she has ever done'' and that ''she misses me like crazy'' but she was ''exhausted from all of the terrible fights and me not giving her the attention she needed''... She said "maybe if we cross paths down the road she would think about it (pssssssh CLASSIC LINE huh?) and then she ended it with her telling me goodbye. I sent her a frown message back. and she sent back a crying frown back to me :'( That was last Thursday. That will be the last contact I ever have with her. (Including indirect contact. I have since told all of my friends to STOP talking about her when I am around) I am kicking myself. I stroked her ego. I gave her what she was looking for. She now knows that I have been pining over her since she broke up with me.. I f'd up guys.. But you know what? As sad as I am right now, and as pissed off as I am right now, I treated this as the ''death of our relationship"... I think in way, it has helped me realize that there is no ''hope'' and it is helping me deal with my ''false hope'' issues.. I just wanted to come clean and admit that I broke NC.I dont hurt as much as I did that first week of the breakup, but it did set me back. I think she is seeing someone else too Who wants to be my valentines day friend? I have a feeling I will be on here ALL DAY that day Sorry everyone for breaking NC. Lesson learned. Edited February 9, 2014 by ithappenedagain
FailedFirstLove Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I lasted 18 days of NC. Last Thursday I sent my ex a text asking if I could arrange a time to pickup the last of my belongings from our once shared apartment.. (I moved into a new apartment, and needed my power cord to my 55'' tv and iPad and Laptop) She replied saying that I could come over that night, or I could have my friend pick it up. I ended up having my friend get my stuff - because I didn't want to see her - becayse if I saw her - I KNOW it would have crushed me. Later that night, as I was sitting in bed, I committed the ultimate NO NO. I texted her my reasoning as to why I sent my friend to get the stuff. But it gets worse. The whole text was basically me telling her how much I miss her, how sorry I was for not giving everything I had in the relationship, etc etc etc.. She texted me back telling me that it was ''the hardest thing she has ever done'' and that ''she misses me like crazy'' but she was ''exhausted from all of the terrible fights and me not giving her the attention she needed''... She said "maybe if we cross paths down the road she would think about it (pssssssh CLASSIC LINE huh?) and then she ended it with her telling me goodbye. I sent her a frown message back. and she sent back a crying frown back to me :'( That was last Thursday. That will be the last contact I ever have with her. (Including indirect contact. I have since told all of my friends to STOP talking about her when I am around) I am kicking myself. I stroked her ego. I gave her what she was looking for. She now knows that I have been pining over her since she broke up with me.. I f'd up guys.. But you know what? As sad as I am right now, and as pissed off as I am right now, I treated this as the ''death of our relationship"... I think in way, it has helped me realize that there is no ''hope'' and it is helping me deal with my ''false hope'' issues.. I just wanted to come clean and admit that I broke NC.I dont hurt as much as I did that first week of the breakup, but it did set me back. I think she is seeing someone else too Who wants to be my valentines day friend? I have a feeling I will be on here ALL DAY that day Sorry everyone for breaking NC. Lesson learned. I'll be ur valentines day friend and I'll be here too... Moping and crying.. What else can I do... 1
Author ithappenedagain Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Aww thanks I'll need all the support I can get that day! I will be here for you as well!
sportzhl24 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Yeah man like you said, it's good to have confirmation that it is over. I almost broke NC just to get that information from my ex but thankfully I never did. But good on you for accepting it, now you just need to move on and forward. It will slowly but surely become a feeling of indifference. Best
pickflicker Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I'll be ur valentines day friend and I'll be here too... Moping and crying.. What else can I do...[/QUOTE] Go out. Get a new haircut. If you're a girl, go get a mani and a pedi - hell, if you're a dude, do that as well. Rent some gory horror films or bad action flciks with lots of explosions, and invite a friend over. Don't mope, that's a waste of time... 1
FailedFirstLove Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I'll be ur valentines day friend and I'll be here too... Moping and crying.. What else can I do...[/QUOTE] Go out. Get a new haircut. If you're a girl, go get a mani and a pedi - hell, if you're a dude, do that as well. Rent some gory horror films or bad action flciks with lots of explosions, and invite a friend over. Don't mope, that's a waste of time... I really wish I could more than anything I really I had siblings,,,, that would help ... I wake up in tears. If I even sleep... And go to bed in tears,,, man this is gonna be hell... I'm trying to find refuge here so that I don't do something stupid.
Author ithappenedagain Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 FailedFirstLove: I don't know your breakup story (maybe you could post a link to it so I can give you some input). I just want you to know that you are loved by me and all of us on this site. Keep coming here. This is the place for help! It is also a good substitute for not have siblings to lean on. I will be your little brother or big brother - depending on your age! Do me a favor. When you get anxiety, or when you are fighting those tears at night or in the morning, tell yourself this: "I DESERVE BETTER THEN THIS!" Also, another thing I tell myself is this: "SEPARATE, STRONG, DESIRABLE" . I repeat that over and over in my head because even though I am separated from her, I need to know that I am STRONG AND DESIRABLE! SO ARE YOU!!!!
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