thegrouch Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 She left me 6 months ago for another man. Didn't tell me till I found out 2 weeks later. We were together 4 years and shes engaged in less than 6 months. Hurts so much.
bubbaganoosh Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 If she plays like that then consider yourself lucky. IMO you dodged a bullet. Move on and be thankful that it didn't get to the point of no return. 5
organizedchaos Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 She left me 6 months ago for another man. Didn't tell me till I found out 2 weeks later. We were together 4 years and shes engaged in less than 6 months. Hurts so much. Know that this won't end well for her. 6 months is not enough time to have moved on after a 4 year relationship and in to an engagement. 3
smuggy95 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 yes sounds like she's just swept up in the idealized honeymoon stage. not a good thing 3
Author thegrouch Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 That's what I have been bearing in mind. She seems to be completely over me, not a peep from her since we broke up and we didn't have a bad relationship. I doubt it will last forever but it hurts nonetheless. Also, as far as I know they are not living together. She has a daughter of her own, the other guy has two. She always mentioned how she didn't know if she could handle more kids.
FortunateSon Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 As others have said, consider yourself lucky, you have likely dodged a bullet. It doesn't sound like she took anytime to process the end you your relationship. I am in a similar situation: although she didn't leave me for another man, my ex jumped into a serious relationship 4-5 months after the end of a 6 year relationship/engagement. I have been NC the last 2 months, but I have a feeling I will be hearing somehow that she is engaged in the near future. Continue to work on yourself and keep her or any info about her out of your life, you will come out better in the end. 1
HappyLove Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 If you liked it then you shoulda put on ring on it.
Allumere Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I am going to say something that won't be popular. She may get married and live happily ever-after. Most folks in a situation like yours like to try and take comfort in that somehow things won't work out and there ex will be miserable...whether its because you want them to hurt like you do or because you want them to come running back, Although those scenarios can both happen, the chance that she will have a great marriage/wonderful life is just as probable. I have seen it play out all ways and to be honest, I have seen more go on to be happy than not. I am saying this because I want to you to stop holding on to that....it does no good and will only serve in the long run to prevent you from having solid relationships in the future. 3
Author thegrouch Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 I did give her a ring. But she didn't want to wear it because she was fresh out of a relationship and wasn't comfortable wearing it. This was after we had been together over a year. Didn't want to make the same mistake twice.
realfriends Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Can I ask you a question? How did you find this out? You should be in NC to help heal yourself. And frankly, it doesn't matter if things work out for her or not, all that matters is you. You need to stop worrying about her and all the moves she makes. (Im trying to be harsh with you but I know just how hard it is. Im 3 months post B.U from a 4.5 year relationship). 1
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I'm sorry you are hurting. You aren't finished grieving the loss of your relationship then this happens & it's like rubbing salt in the wound. However, it doesn't matter what she does. You have to focus on you -- your health, your needs etc. Stay strong & take care of yourself. 2
Author thegrouch Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 I know I am making it harder on myself. We aren't friends on fb, but like once a month I look at her page. Yesterday I noticed she liked a store that sells wedding rings. Couldn't help myself and text her to ask if she was engaged. She thought I hacked her page which I didn't. She didn't give me a straight answer but her defensiveness told the story. I asked a friend to look at her page to be sure. He just said they are engaged. Guess if it wasn't over before it is now. I won't look at her page again.
pickflicker Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Know that this won't end well for her. 6 months is not enough time to have moved on after a 4 year relationship and in to an engagement. Not always. My parents were together 6 weeks before Dad popped the question. Still going strong 36 years later and more in love than ever. When you know, you know.
Author thegrouch Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Any other encouraging words?
MoooOinkBaaa Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) I dunno man, that's deep. It's crazy how you can love someone so much and think they loved you too, then stuff like this happens. It's scary. I guess it's just accepting reality and knowing that you can never know what someone else is thinking or their motives. It's really a shocker Just know there is nothing wrong with us, it's all about them and people live for themselves ultimately no matter what they tell you. At least you found out what you needed before she changed. Edited February 10, 2014 by MoooOinkBaaa
mantlefan Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She left me 6 months ago for another man. Didn't tell me till I found out 2 weeks later. We were together 4 years and shes engaged in less than 6 months. Hurts so much. Sounds not too dissimilar to my situation. They aren't engaged yet, but she left me in a similar way, and I would not be at all surprised if they do get engaged soon. And yeah, I know this hurts, but you should believe those who are telling you that you dodged a bullet here.
Author thegrouch Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Sorry for the bump..mornings are the worst. I have to sit outside and smoke about 3 cigarettes before I can start the day. Never used to be like this. I have had an appointment scheduled for a couple months to talk to a doctor about depression. On Valentines Day, no less. Almost considered cancelling, but now I know I'm nowhere near feeling normal. I don't eat, sleep and have lost a ton of weight.
FortunateSon Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 A date with a doctor on Valentine's Day might be the ideal Valentine's date, a blessing in disguise to help you move forward!
johnson_j Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Sorry for the bump..mornings are the worst. I have to sit outside and smoke about 3 cigarettes before I can start the day. Never used to be like this. I have had an appointment scheduled for a couple months to talk to a doctor about depression. On Valentines Day, no less. Almost considered cancelling, but now I know I'm nowhere near feeling normal. I don't eat, sleep and have lost a ton of weight. Hang in there man. Similar thing happened to me about 10 years ago. Hurt like holy hell, and when I finally wished her the best and let her go in my heart, she came around, dumped the dude, and begged me to take her back. And I felt sorry for that other guy who was a rebound and didn't know it - and for us it was too late - and she emailed me for years after that wanting to make things right, while I had already moved on to better relationships. 2
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