Iguanna Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Then Gaeta you have nothing to lose to give him some time more. Just wait for say a couple of weeks and see what happens. If he contacts you and acts like nothing has happened, it means he doesn't respect you as much as he should. If he apologizes and changes, then you know he is really interested. But the truth is that men don't get attached with women the way and as much as we do, especially when they have something to do they consider really important as a job. When my bf is at work or I know he's in an important meeting I know I should never ever call him or talk to him at all. The bad thing here is you may feel kind of stupid in this situation. Just wait for a bit, see his response and if you are happy with it give him another chance. You are an experienced woman, I'm sure you can tell when someone lies.
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Thank you everyone for your time and answers. Looks like I am willing to wait some more. I cannot switch off my feelings just like that. If he never gets back to me then I'll let it go in my own time.
Shosh Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Dear Gaeta, since you already wrote him an email with your feelings I think all you can do at this point is wait and see if and what he replies. Based on that you can plan your next step. I would also set myself a time limit as in how long you are willing to wait for a response from him before it seems utterly ridiculous to you to still hang on to this relationship. For example, if you have not heard from him in 1 month, is that when you decide it is over, in 2, in 3? Hopefully you will get a reply from him before that, but I think it might help you think about this a bit more rationally if you give him a deadline. In the meantime I suggest you do whatever you can to distract yourself as the ball is in his corner and you are willing to wait for his next move. Good luck, I hope it ends well for you! P.S. Do you know the song 'There is no Arizona' by Jamie O'Neal? Kind of reminds me of your situation. 1
MixedUpChick Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 He went on a small Caribbean Island to built a house for his family. He worked at the same company for 20 + years so his boss granted him a leave of absence till August. This is a big project for him, he said it was a life dream to build this house, he saved all his life for it. Could he just be too absorbed with this dream? The communication (or lack of) is definitely a concern, but I have questions I haven't seen addressed yet. Who exactly is he building this house for? When you said it's "for his family" - does that mean it's for HIM? Because if it's for him & whoever he ends up with, how does that even fit into your plans if you were to continue to have a relationship with him? Are you considering moving to a completely different part of the world? It also seems odd, if he's building it for himself, that he's taking a 6 month leave of absence from his job. Once the house is built why wouldn't he just move into it? Are you sure he's even coming back?
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 The communication (or lack of) is definitely a concern, but I have questions I haven't seen addressed yet. Who exactly is he building this house for? When you said it's "for his family" - does that mean it's for HIM? Because if it's for him & whoever he ends up with, how does that even fit into your plans if you were to continue to have a relationship with him? Are you considering moving to a completely different part of the world? It also seems odd, if he's building it for himself, that he's taking a 6 month leave of absence from his job. Once the house is built why wouldn't he just move into it? Are you sure he's even coming back? When we met I addressed this question right away because he was not born here and I did not want to enter a relationship with someone planning to leave. He has been living here for 25 years. He told me he has no plans to move there, or retiring there, his children and life is here. As I understand it, it's a cultural thing in the Caribbean. One family members buys a land and family builds on that land. He is building a small house for himself that he will rent out for an additional revenue, apparently renting houses is big there, and the remaining of the land will be available for his family to build on. He also talked about the house being built in a way it allows other levels being build on top. He added later when he's retired it could be a place to go to during winter months, I have nothing against that. I don't know any Canadians who wouldn't want to go south in winter months.
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Dear Gaeta, P.S. Do you know the song 'There is no Arizona' by Jamie O'Neal? Kind of reminds me of your situation. Gosh, just looked it up on youtube....made me cry.
newmoon Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 it seems like maybe you don't know him that well. perhaps he was trying to get a relationship off the ground with you, which is why he introduced you around, but his diminishing contact pretty much equals diminishing interest in you. I would move on. long-distance relationships can work if both people are invested in them but his priorities are elsewhere, if he's being honest. and I doubt it 'came out of nowhere.' just think for a moment about the legwork he would have to do to even get going on a project like this - it would have been in the works for many months - securing time off, securing a place to stay, etc. - hardly something that could happen overnight. he was probably hoping it would happen, perhaps not thinking it would, hooked up with you, and then when it came through he took off and you were left. it might have been serious and stayed serious if he was still here, but I think it's over now
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