Free From Pain! [Inspiring]

[CalmandCarryOn]

Hey all,

 

I just want to let you know that today for the first time in over 2 months-I feel free from my pain and sadness from my break-up. I used to feel a deep sense of loss and sorrow from my BU, but I don't have those intense feelings anymore. Be encouraged to KNOW that you WILL overcome! You WILL get through this! It may seem out and far from reach now, but your heart WILL HEAL! Do I still miss my ex? Definitely? Do I wish I could back in time and relieve the days when life seemed great with each other? Of course. But the reality is, life is great with or without my ex. Rest in the great moments you had, but continue to live. The past is the past, and each moment you think about the past, you lose a moment in the present-and NOBODY deserves to take away the precious moments you have to live in the present. Time is truly the ultimately healer.

 

I encourage those suffering through a BU now to just keep holding on-if you're alive now-chances are you'll make it through tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. You will survive this! Be thankful for the blessings you have. I strongly believe that one reasons people BU from a selfish perspective is due to the fact they struggle to have gratitude. Have a bigger character than your ex-and practice gratitude in your life. There are billions in the world suffering through things (extreme poverty, AIDS, cancer, human trafficking) that would probably kill to swap out their lives with our pain from a break-up. This is not the end. Be you, because there is only one you, and you only have one life.

 

"Men become lost' men vanish' men are erased- - and reborn."

 

BACKSTORY-WHERE I WAS A MONTH AGO

Ex broke up with me. Struggling to stay positive and keep moving up.

 

Story: My girlfriend and I were talking for 9 months before deciding to take our relationship to the next level-dating. We're both in college-I'm a junior and she's a sophomore. We started dating in October and everything seemed grand. My girlfriend would be studying abroad in France the next semester, and we talked about how we would overcome/navigate through her being overseas and away in the Spring. I told her that I could wait before we went "official" until she returned from France to see where things were at-but she said would be able to handle it and felt ready to date now.

 

Everything seemed to go great-until France entered the picture. As the semester started to end and France came up more-I started getting weird vibes from her, but would brush them off thinking I was overreacting and wanted to respect her-especially knowing she would be studying abroad, I didn't want to put pressures on her. I did my very best to respect her and show selfless love. She even told me that besides her parents, I had shown her more respect than anyone else in her life. I spent Thanksgiving break with her and her family, and all seemed well. I poured much into her to make her feel special and comfortable, always making sure she didn't feel pressured or stressed. I wanted her to be able to her herself.

 

A week before we left school for Christmas break (this is the beginning of December) we were talking one night and she shared with me that she had "fears and doubts" She said that she worried about leaving for France and being away for so long, she worried about "us" and our "hearts", she didn't know when she would see me again, she was concerned about us being able to "see other people". Early in our relationship we had planned ways to communicate while she was away in France, but now she shared how she wasn't going to communicate as much as she had originally intended to because she wanted to "experience everything in France". The way she explained it was a little foggy, because I read it COMPLETELY WRONG. I thought that it was the end of the semester, she was tired and exhausted, and was emotional with everything hitting her (leaving for France, not seeing friends and family for a semester) and I tried my best to make her not be fearful and addressed any doubts that she had (i.e. how I WOULD see her as SOON as she returned). That night I texted her a bunch of things explaining anything she shared with me and to not be fearful of the future. She thanked me profusely and shared how great I was and how she felt much better after I tried to calm her fears. A couple days later I surprised her with her Christmas presents and in the middle of opening them she said "Now I feel bad". I was confused by this comment. We had a great date that night and then entered into finals. The last day on campus that semester was great-and she acted like everything was great between us.

 

I had to fly out to Arizona for Christmas break and brought my car up to her house later that weekend for her family to look over-as well as get dropped off/picked up from the airport. All seemed perfect. I would get to see her when I returned right before she left for France. When I arrived at her home that night, I received some cold vibes from her, and was feeling a little uneasy by the way she was actin around me (not very reciprocal, didn't seem very excited to see me). She took me to the airport and handed me a letter when she dropped me off. << This was my Christmas gift. The letter was 3 pages of things that she loved about me and what I did in our relationship. She addressed the letter "My dear" and said that she would "terribly" miss me when she was in France and couldn't wait to get back to catch up with me. She ended the letter with "In Love". Along with the letter, she included pictures of us together from the semester.

 

2 days after I arrived in Arizona-we were texting and she was coming across cold and like it was a hassle to talk to me. Circumstances led me to ask her what was wrong and she said that she "felt unsure about some things". I asked her if it was about us and she replied "Yes.".

 

The next morning she called me and said "I just don't think it's going to work out between us." I was crushed. Her reason for breaking up-she didn't feel like her "silly, crazy" side she had with her girl friends could come out around me. She said she struggled to bring it out. She said "It's not you, it's me-but we can still be friends". We talked on the phone almost an hour. She was very cold in her responses to me. She told me that I didn't do anything wrong, and to "not feel bad because it's not me.". After we broke up I fell into depression. I couldn't understand why in 11 months that was the FIRST time I had heard about her not being able to bring out her "silly" side around me-let alone why she never talked to me about it. I was confused why she put everything she did in the letter, as well as INCLUDE pictures of us together. She shared that she had planned to break up with me when she picked me up from the airport when I returned home-everything was planned and she had led me on like nothing was wrong.

 

I feel so hurt because I poured a lot to make her feel special, and was left like dirt. She broke up a week before Christmas. The rest of break we had NC, but then I had to return home and get my car from her home. It was a horrible day. Her mom drove their car and she was in the passengers seat when they picked me up. After 2.5 weeks of NC-I thought she would want to talk, but no. The ENTIRE drive from the airport to her house, she didn't say a SINGLE WORD to me. Completely ignored. Her mom tried to make some small talk to break the awkwardness, but it didn't help. When I got to her home, I thanked the mom, got my car and left to return to school. 5 minutes down the road back my phone died and I had a 2 hour drive back in bad weather (snow had fallen,very icy roads). I had to GO BACK to her home to charge my phone. It was awkward to say the least. I sat in her kitchen for ALMOST AN HOUR charging my phone, and she was in the kitchen-ignored me the whole time. The only thing she asked was if I "wanted a drink" and if I "had a lot to do when I got back to school". Other than that-straight silence and acting like i wasn't there. It felt like knives being stabbed in me. I can understand if I treated her like crap, was selfish, didn't respect her, but did none. I treated her like a princess and that's what was returned to me. Why would she do this, or act this way? The way she treated the breakup is insane because I know she's better than that. And the way she treated me is a shock - I never would take her to act this way.

 

It's been a month, I'm better-but I'm still struggling with missing her. I fell in love with this girl the past year, and it hurts to feel taken advantage of. Need advice on overcoming-it's hard when I pass her friends at school or certain places where we would spend time together-because I'm flooded with memories. I'm crushed.