Sasukie Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Hey everyone..been a while since I posted on LS forums, (Though I've continued to read people's stories) Broke up october 2013, and now I've disappeared from my ex gf's life and focused on my fulltime work in audit. (Agh long hours) Anyways I deleted her number and what not, but recently I asked my friend to pick up my cheque of $500 something dollars from her (her roommate). Following my request in the middle of the day, I received a text and saw that it was her number, asking if I asked my friend to get my cheque. I replied a simple "Yes". Couple hours later I received another text saying: "U could have texted me." Would this be considered breaking NC? Trying to work my way towards indifference...I can't tell if I'm starting to be, or its avoidance of anything related to her..for example, I feel like if I see a picture of her somewhere it might cut open the wounds I'm healing, bah. Btw - I saw someone post about "Do you depend on relationships for happiness and do you love them more than you love yourself?" When I think about these questions, is it wrong that I dedicated a lot of time to my ex gf because I did care and she did need the help and all due to failing school? I was trying to really supportive, but that was also the downfall as she told me I was too available..god damn. And lastly, how do you love yourself? I've been pretty selfless...I guess its just engrained in me that I like imparting my knowledge or assistance to anyone who needs it..is that a flaw? Thanks!
Author Sasukie Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Slowly but surely...hopefully the feelings will fade.
Frank2thepoint Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Btw - I saw someone post about "Do you depend on relationships for happiness and do you love them more than you love yourself?" When I think about these questions, is it wrong that I dedicated a lot of time to my ex gf because I did care and she did need the help and all due to failing school? I was trying to really supportive, but that was also the downfall as she told me I was too available..god damn. And lastly, how do you love yourself? I've been pretty selfless...I guess its just engrained in me that I like imparting my knowledge or assistance to anyone who needs it..is that a flaw? It's not wrong to dedicate time and effort into someone you care about, but it is wrong if the other areas in your life (hobbies, friends, etc.) suffer. It is also wrong when you made yourself too available to your ex. But this is situational of course. If the person you care about is need of your time, such as someone recovering from a disease or injury, then your personal life will suffer. But in your case with your ex, her failing school is not something you could of helped her with, at least not significantly. Being selfless means you draw energy from helping others. This is a great quality to have, but often times you can lose yourself in helping too much where people take you for granted. Eventually you burn out because no one has infinite patience. I'm sorry that things did not work out between your ex and you, but take this as a learning experience. Take it as a positive thing. This relationship is supposed to help you grow as a person and aid in better understanding your merits and flaws. In this case, your selflessness is both a merit and flaw. You should adjust on how much of yourself you give in the future. 2
Discover Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 You and I are the same brother, being selfless is something that is keeping me from being completely broken because of my break up and I truly don't know how to love myself.. But I must say I agree completely with Frank2thepoint .. Let's hope this experience helps us become better people for ourselves? 1
Author Sasukie Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Thank you for the insight Frank - You are right - coming out of this relationship I definitely feel like I've learned a lot and had a chance to learn about myself. I'm a little sad because as you said, many areas of my life suffered, mostly my relationship with my family and friends (well I didn't really have that many due to going separate ways). I guess this is what happens when you're head over heels.. Good thing I always separated my worklife and career from dedicating time to my relationship... 1
Caliguy30 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I put so much into my relationship I'm lost without it. I had the issue of being too caring and assisting losing myself with this person. I am struggling to find my life again without her and not doing myself any favors by still holding out hope having her kiss me and what not when we hang out.
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