spiderowl Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 (edited) I'm wondering if anyone else feels like this? I hoped to meet a nice guy but just haven't met anyone I've felt sufficiently attracted to emotionally and physically. I don't know whether I'm unlucky or what but guys who seem interested in me have been really unappealing. I'm finding now that most guys I meet just seem unattractive. It's not that I've lost my sex drive or anything, far from it. I just don't find most guys my age (55) attractive. I don't even find most younger guys attractive. I think this has something to do with a general disillusionment with guys and romance. I don't feel most are interested in anything serious and it's the shallow ones who say things like 'You look sexy' when they don't even know me who make me feel like what's the point? Are there any guys out there with a sensitive soul, with intelligence and feeling, who can talk for more than a few minutes without me feeling bored with them? What is the matter with me? I was in touch with a guy some distance away who seemed nice and I liked his picture. When I talked to him on the phone several times, he spoke so slowly that I felt like winding him up. I work in an education environment and I'm used to people being very quick witted and intelligent. I can't cope with someone who's pace is 10 times slower, however intelligent he is. I'm feeling now that I'm wasting my time hoping to meet a guy and that I'd be better off resigning myself to singledom. Edited February 9, 2014 by spiderowl
LatinCoffee Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Just enjoy yourself and meet folks as friends. Once you meet him--you will know he's the 'one' for you. Enjoy yourself.
somedude81 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 It's not that I've lost my sex drive or anything, far from it. I just don't find most guys my age (55) attractive. I don't even find most younger guys attractive. Are you sure you haven't lost your sex drive? I can't imagine what it's like to be a woman of your age, but if no men turn you on, your age or younger then I'd take that as sign that something is going on with you.
Author spiderowl Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Are you sure you haven't lost your sex drive? I can't imagine what it's like to be a woman of your age, but if no men turn you on, your age or younger then I'd take that as sign that something is going on with you. Nope, definitely not. I don't know why they seem so unappealing. They just seem dim, uncouth, insensitive and uninteresting to talk to. It would be easier if I had lost my sex drive, because then I wouldn't feel so disappointed.
somedude81 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Nope, definitely not. I don't know why they seem so unappealing. They just seem dim, uncouth, insensitive and uninteresting to talk to. It would be easier if I had lost my sex drive, because then I wouldn't feel so disappointed. That sounds like you don't care about physical looks and more concerned with how they communicate. Does that sound correct? If so, have you always been this way or does it seem like a recent thing?
Author spiderowl Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 I do care about looks in that they have to seem attractive to me, but intelligence and sensitivity matters too and it seems so hard to find. Guys seem closed-minded and opinionated, they smoke, they drink too much, they are unkempt, slow, overly aggressive and pushy, or overly sexual in conversation. I don't know, all wrong somehow.
Weezy1973 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 How attractive are you OP? It's possible that men aren't really trying around you because they don't feel attracted and therefore you see them in all their natural 55+ year old glory... 2
Leigh 87 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 It is bad luck but also, there are decent men your age out there. Maybe you are not appealing to decent men your age? Have you ever asked your friends or family or an acquaintance objectively whether or not you are appealing?
Author spiderowl Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 How attractive are you OP? It's possible that men aren't really trying around you because they don't feel attracted and therefore you see them in all their natural 55+ year old glory... I honestly don't know Weezy. Guys have said I'm attractive and they often come to talk to me when I'm out socialising, but truly I have no idea. What you said could be true, in which case I probably am wasting my time.
Author spiderowl Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Strangely, after starting this thread something weird happened. I was watching a TV prog. about a place in this country and it reminded me that someone I had really been attracted to had gone there. At the time I knew him, nothing happened because I was shy and I don't think he knew I was interested. We only crossed paths occasionally in a professional capacity. But the point was, it reminded me how that attraction can be triggered occasionally and how powerful it is. Maybe it's just that rare for me. I don't understand how so many others can never be single, they always seem to find a partner. I'd have to compromise so many aspects of myself to do that, it's not worth it.
SYLLPalmer Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Strangely, after starting this thread something weird happened. I was watching a TV prog. about a place in this country and it reminded me that someone I had really been attracted to had gone there. At the time I knew him, nothing happened because I was shy and I don't think he knew I was interested. We only crossed paths occasionally in a professional capacity. But the point was, it reminded me how that attraction can be triggered occasionally and how powerful it is. Maybe it's just that rare for me. I don't understand how so many others can never be single, they always seem to find a partner. I'd have to compromise so many aspects of myself to do that, it's not worth it. Here! Here! I once felt your pain and then life set in. Isolation and loneliness broadened my spectrum and I thank Oz for that. This route sucked but I am pleased with the outcome. You can't do a thing to change you preference. Oz knows I tried. Peace.
Author spiderowl Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 I do like spending time alone but not every night as well. Maybe it's just not going to happen and I need to forget there are such things are relationships.
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