laura9 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I just need to vent. I'm 25 years old but I feel like I've already been through 2 lifetimes worth of heartbreak. I'm so tired of repeatedly falling in love and crashing in the end. I hate arguing. I hate breaking up. I hate losing my confidence and self-esteem in the process. Then there's the excruciating period when you're supposed to "move on". How could I not hate that too? I always go so deep and get so close to my partners that even after I've moved on, my exes are ALWAYS on my mind. I keep remembering every little thing about them even if I know full well we weren't a good match. I miss them regardless. Will this ever end? Enough of adding exes to the list. I just want a solid, calm and argument-free relationship. I can't stand breakups any more!!
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I'm really sorry you've been going through a tough time. Breakups are really unfortunate because we're pretty much forced into a situation that we don't have much control over. I want you to answer me a question, though, with complete honesty: Do you love yourself? Are you happy with who you are?
pickflicker Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Drama happens when you fall too hard. Start writing or your relationship pattern and we'll see where it's going wrong. Also, you're 25. A baby. Plenty of time.
Xemyd Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I just want a solid, calm and argument-free relationship. I can't stand breakups any more!! Unfortunately a calm and argument-free relationship doesn't guarantee it to work out. But I do know how you feel though, it knocks a lot out of you. Especially since I thought my ex was going to be it, he was my person that I was going to be with forever. He obviously wasn't on the same page as I was.
Author laura9 Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Do you love yourself? Are you happy with who you are? I always was, until I graduated from college 2 years ago. That involved moving country and moving back into my parents' house, being away from my social circle and having serious doubts about my future career and plans. I'm still a bit stuck and I never felt this insecure, professionally, emotionally, etc. My boyfriend (soon to be ex?) on the other hand, is in a completely opposite situation: he's a few years older but already quite successful and very sure of himself and his place in the world. It's hard for me to see him flourish while I don't even know what career path I want to follow. We've been together for a year and a half, he is very supportive and patient but our relationship is failing nonetheless. Chronic arguing is ruining us. Thanks for the sympathy!
Author laura9 Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Also, you're 25. A baby. Plenty of time. Ha. Thanks for that. I do feel old and decrepit though
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I always was, until I graduated from college 2 years ago. That involved moving country and moving back into my parents' house, being away from my social circle and having serious doubts about my future career and plans. I'm still a bit stuck and I never felt this insecure, professionally, emotionally, etc. My boyfriend (soon to be ex?) on the other hand, is in a completely opposite situation: he's a few years older but already quite successful and very sure of himself and his place in the world. It's hard for me to see him flourish while I don't even know what career path I want to follow. We've been together for a year and a half, he is very supportive and patient but our relationship is failing nonetheless. Chronic arguing is ruining us. Thanks for the sympathy! I don't claim to be a professional, but have you considered the possibility that you're relying on relationships for happiness? Do you fall for people easily? Is that why you are so devastated from your previous relationships? I think that you love them more than you love yourself which is why you tend to remember even insignificant details about every relationship. I really don't think you're happy, and that really saddens me to imagine how hurt you are. If you're in pain, I'm really sorry for how much pain you're in right now. I think what you really need is some guidance in the right direction. I think you need to stop focusing on other people, and you need to take the time to fix yourself so that you won't continue to be devastated from relationships. Getting broken up with is no easy experience, but you'd be a lot better off if you knew that you'd be okay in the end, but I'm getting the impression that due to what's going on in your life...you don't know whether you're going to be okay. I'm really sorry for your pain. I just want to let you know that you are special, that people do care about you, and that you have value.
somedude81 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Unfortunately a calm and argument-free relationship doesn't guarantee it to work out. Ain't that the truth. It's very possible to have a relationship where there are no fights or disagreements at all and still somebody finds a reason to want to end it. Breakups suck, especially getting dumped.
organizedchaos Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Perhaps, OP, you need to spend some time alone and not in a relationship to evaluate what part you have in choosing the wrong partners.
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