Tina747 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 (edited) I had been corresponding with a man online for about two weeks... He seemed very nice, articulate and handsome. We met in person last Saturday for lunch and had a pretty nice time - he did a lot of the talking, is outgoing, while I am a little quite when I first meet someone. When we met in person I was a little on the fence about whether I felt romantic chemistry. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I kind of sensed he might be kind of controlling and perfectionist and told me some things that led me to believe my instincts were probably a little right but was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Since then, he contacts me by text and phone a few times a day, which was nice at first, but I noticed if I don't respond right away he "views" my online profile... does anyone have any thoughts about why he continually views my online profile if we already met in person, has already viewed my online profile a number of times before we met in person, and he now has my cell number since we met.... what would be the point? I fear it is because he is checking to see if I have been online (you can tell by viewing someone whey they last logged in)? I can't think of any other reason why he would feel the need and it is kind of weirding me out. He has to know I can see he keeps viewing me... I only went on one date with him and don't feel like we owe each other anything. (It seems the views happen when I don't reply right away). why? Edited February 9, 2014 by Tina747
newmoon Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 don't be too suspicious. I've done this too - gone on a date with someone from online and then later on checked their profile again and again. I'm doing to re-read it in better detail - to spot things about them that they either did/didn't say on the date that might confirm my own feelings about them. he might actually be hesitant about you and looking at the profile might help confirm/deny some things he is or isn't looking for that maybe didn't come up in conversation, but perhaps you wrote online. he might also be looking for some hobbies you listed or things like that to open up lines for another date. and yeah, he might be checking to see if/when you logged in. but it's not really all that weird imo and doesn't mean he's stalking. 1
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 don't be too suspicious. I've done this too - gone on a date with someone from online and then later on checked their profile again and again. I'm doing to re-read it in better detail - to spot things about them that they either did/didn't say on the date that might confirm my own feelings about them. he might actually be hesitant about you and looking at the profile might help confirm/deny some things he is or isn't looking for that maybe didn't come up in conversation, but perhaps you wrote online. he might also be looking for some hobbies you listed or things like that to open up lines for another date. and yeah, he might be checking to see if/when you logged in. but it's not really all that weird imo and doesn't mean he's stalking. I agree with this. You also have to consider the possibility that he was showing his friends about how hott of a date you were. When I had a friends with benefits I met over a dating service, I showed my friends her profile -- thankfully I could browse anonymously, so she couldn't tell I was visiting her profile. For the most part, though, he's probably just "doing homework" by learning more about you before the next date (if it happens). I wouldn't start getting curious until the beginning of the relationship. 1
HappyLove Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Listen to your gut. You don't even like this weirdo, move on. 1
divinegrace Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Tina, you're weirded out. You aren't flattered. There are things that your instincts are telling you about this person. The fact that you even wrote this tells me that there is something "off" for you. I'd suggest you step back, consider if this person makes you feel comfortable, and go from there. Your gut doesn't lie. Good luck! 1
FitChick Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I usually cut and paste the pertinent facts in a guy's profile so I won't have to constantly go back and read it. Sometimes you can look at the profile without even logging in. If someone is emailing several people at once it's hard to keep everyone straight. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 First of all, he's not too smart. If you're going to stalk someone's profile at least make a fake profile to stalk from. That way they'll never know. Secondly, he just sounds really insecure. I know that if I don't check myself I get the same way. Because my thoughts immediately go to "she doesn't like me and she's going to meet some other cooler guy and leave me for him". Rather than to someone logical like, she's busy and we'll text me back or call me back when she has time. Low quality/low status males tend to do this... 1
henderson14 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Well I tend to stalk a girls profile if we start dating, but I don't let her know! And no, I'm not controlling or creepy, but I am smart enough to know that it can be seen as creepy. 2
Thegreatestthing Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Maybe just wanted to look at your pictures I had been corresponding with a man online for about two weeks... He seemed very nice, articulate and handsome. We met in person last Saturday for lunch and had a pretty nice time - he did a lot of the talking, is outgoing, while I am a little quite when I first meet someone. When we met in person I was a little on the fence about whether I felt romantic chemistry. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I kind of sensed he might be kind of controlling and perfectionist and told me some things that led me to believe my instincts were probably a little right but was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Since then, he contacts me by text and phone a few times a day, which was nice at first, but I noticed if I don't respond right away he "views" my online profile... does anyone have any thoughts about why he continually views my online profile if we already met in person, has already viewed my online profile a number of times before we met in person, and he now has my cell number since we met.... what would be the point? I fear it is because he is checking to see if I have been online (you can tell by viewing someone whey they last logged in)? I can't think of any other reason why he would feel the need and it is kind of weirding me out. He has to know I can see he keeps viewing me... I only went on one date with him and don't feel like we owe each other anything. (It seems the views happen when I don't reply right away). why? 1
deathandtaxes Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 The profile stalking with a proxy profile is so much worse than viewing with your own. Where do I even begin?
Author Tina747 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 So, just an update... It did turn out he was viewing my profile to see if I had been online... he just sent me an email sort of confrontational about it. This was just after one date (and absolutely no intimacy). And I never led him on that it was anything more than a date (and it was even more like a meet and greet over lunch than a date - and I thought he seemed nice at the time - but a little controlling)... He now states in his email that he wants to be exclusive and seemed to imply that if I don't agree (and if I am talking to anyone else online) that I am "not serious", "on-line serial dater" and I am "playing games and making him jealous". I'm fairly new to online dating too, LOL and, I am not very good at it... Now I'm still weirded out.
deathandtaxes Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Wowza! Creeper/stalker alert!! One date and he wants exclusivity? Wtf? Best response is 'Don't e-mail/call/text me again.' 2
Author Tina747 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Yes, thanks deathandtaxes. Agree. 1
kart180 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Wowza! Creeper/stalker alert!! One date and he wants exclusivity? Wtf? Best response is 'Don't e-mail/call/text me again.' :ditto Totally agree, He seems a bit creepy. It is strange as you have him your cell and he still views your online profile. He should just text you but he appears to be a stalker probably. If I was him since I got your number, I would send a sweet text in the morning to meet for coffee or dinner. Maybe just give you call to see how you are doing. Edited February 12, 2014 by kart180 1
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