ITw Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I'll try to make it a really quick read. I joined a social activity group and met a really great guy there. I usually saw him in the group about twice a week. I now have other obligations and can't attend the group for a few months because of the times. He and I used to flirt everytime we met for the group and got along fabulously. We know we are attracted to each other but neither of us ever took it to the next step of asking for a date. The chemistry is definitely there, plus he has a witty, nice, kind personality. I usually wait for the man to ask for the date, but I've come to find that he's really shy. I want to just call him up to talk and just ask him out if he's too shy. I think I could be waiting a long time if I wait for him to call me. Usually I'm never nervous like this, but I really, really like this guy. What's everyone's opinion? We're both single, unattached, and child-free.
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Go for it. Fight the power. Rebel against society. Carpe diem. Get that sum' bitch. Strut your stuff. May the force be with you.
newmoon Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 men are never shy when they like you enough. don't be the man for him, and don't do his job. he knows you exist and he would notice that you're gone from the group if he cared. if he likes you he'll call or reach out and then you'll be super happy because you will know for sure he likes you. 1
Marks Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I say go for it. It shouldn't matter if you're the woman and society tells you that you're supposed to wait. Take the advice that men are given all the time--you don't have anything to lose other than finding out that he's not interested, in which case you'll have your answer and you can then move on and focus on finding someone who is in fact interested. And since it sounds like you won't be seeing him again for a long while, then there should be even less pressure, since in theory you won't have to face him again if things don't work out. men are never shy when they like you enough. don't be the man for him, and don't do his job. he knows you exist and he would notice that you're gone from the group if he cared. if he likes you he'll call or reach out and then you'll be super happy because you will know for sure he likes you. Forget about the gender roles...just ask him out. As a shy guy myself, I'll say that the OP might end up waiting a really long time for him to make the move. If he's into you, he'll be delighted you've approached him. 1
Author ITw Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 I called him up, no answer. I'll call again later this week. Could text him I guess? What do you think?
what_a_blonde Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Depends, did you leave a voicemail? If yes- then wait a couple days to text. If no- send him a text tomorrow and just say "hey ____, its ______. Hadn't seen you in a while or been to social group for quite some time so I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out sometime." Then maybe even suggest what "hang out" entails (i.e. want to go get some coffee...etc.)
Author ITw Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Depends, did you leave a voicemail? If yes- then wait a couple days to text. If no- send him a text tomorrow and just say "hey ____, its ______. Hadn't seen you in a while or been to social group for quite some time so I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out sometime." Then maybe even suggest what "hang out" entails (i.e. want to go get some coffee...etc.) No I didn't leave a voicemail. Good suggestions. Thanks guys for all the advice.
Under The Radar Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I called him up, no answer. I'll call again later this week. Could text him I guess? What do you think? Nope, one and done. If you left him a voicemail (I hope you did) then DON'T contact him again ...... the ball is in his court. If you didn't leave a message, then reaching out ONE more time is fine. Either way, you'll know soon enough.
Author ITw Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Nope, one and done. If you left him a voicemail (I hope you did) then DON'T contact him again ...... the ball is in his court. If you didn't leave a message, then reaching out ONE more time is fine. Either way, you'll know soon enough. I called a couple days ago. I'll prob call tomorrow and hopefully he'll answer. I'll leave a voicemail if there's no answer. After that, it's up to him.
TB Rhine Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Should I just go for it? The answer to this question is ALWAYS yes. Worst case scenario: you fail, in which case you can move on. Best case: you get exactly what you want. The alternative: wallowing in self-doubt and indecision forever, and wondering about might have been.
emva07 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I am always very conflicted by this shy guy thing. In my experience, like the first poster said, when a shy guy likes a girl he sure makes it known. But I also have guy friends who are shy who can like a girl but don't have the guts to tell her because they feel they're out of her league, etc etc. So idk...I'd say go for it? But if he doesn't show interest don't press the matter, he isn't THAT shy. At that point you can't say, oh he's not catching the bait because he's shy.
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