Tessala Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 A few nights ago I had a passionate kissing session with my good friend, who I also used to date. We dated in 2011 for about six months. I was trying to be level-headed and I broke up with him because I couldn't see myself marrying him. It ended on good terms. We've been good friends ever since. I went away for a semester and came back in December. We've been hanging out regularly since then. He is heading off for Navy boot camp in three weeks. And he'll be gone for at least three months, so we wanted to see each other as much as possible. It's also worth noting that I have told him that I don't want to have a relationship right now because I'm in school, but he's still attracted to me. It also doesn't help that his family sees me as his "one that got away." Finally, a few nights ago, we were hanging out after all our other friends left. I caught him staring at my lips again. I lost control of myself and leaned in and kissed him. We ended up making out for half an hour. I'm going to hell. After I went home, he texted me and said that he was happy that we kissed, but if we weren't going to be a couple, we probably shouldn't do it again. Since then, he's been distant. I miss him. AND want to kiss him again, but I don't want to hurt him. So now what?
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 The fact that you and him dated for six months is a pretty big deal. I can't answer for every guy, but although we may accept the status of a "friend," we will never forget what we had. What is confusing right now is how you broke up with him because you didn't see yourself marrying the dude, but now you're questioning what the next step is as if you forgot you and him even have a history. The truth of the matter is that the kiss doesn't mean anything; or at least, it's not that important. What's REALLY important is how you see him NOW compared to last time. If you want to take the next step in your relationship with this dude, you need to consider the possibility that it's going to end the same way it did last time: date for six months, break it off with him because you didn't want to marry him. Because you and him made out for 30 minutes, it seems like you may just want to get into his pants, while he wants to get into your heart. The kiss was indeed passionate, but it was passionate for two completely different reasons. Deciphering the message he sent you, as a guy...that was a test. I think that, deep down, he wants to become a couple with you...and perhaps the only reason why he stuck around was hoping that you'd change your mind. If that's the case, that kiss really opened up some old desires, and he recognizes that so he's becoming distant because old feelings are resurfacing. You say you don't want to hurt him, but he might already be hurt. Hell, if I made out with a woman for 30 minutes...I'd be hurt too, in more ways than one. I'd have some pretty intense blue balls, but that's besides the point. Point is that you need to make a decision: pursue him, or stop hanging out as "friends." Friends don't make out with each other. If you want to **** his brains out, let him know before he goes to boot camp because he'll only get to have sex with other dudes at boot camp. However, if you just want him as a kissing partner, then you may need to find someone other than an ex-boyfriend of 6 months 2
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