I'm having a hard time dealing with things

[zzrez]

I posted this in another forum, and I am posting here so I can get different set of advice since there is a different audience here.

 

I'm 20, she is 18.

 

Well, its been roughly 2 months since my girlfriend dumped me. We've been together for about a year and 10/11 months. I won't go into great detail but in a nutshell, we thought we were made for each other, destined for each other, we had plans but sadly she couldn't take it anymore and dumped me shortly after my 20th Birthday.

It hurts, because we shared a common heritage and culture that brought us together, and I found everything about her to be in harmony.

Now there is a catch. In February shortly before valentines day she decided to "take a break" because someone was courting her, and she had some feelings, and on the spot told me she wants to end this to try this guy out.

I was hurt like hell.

This happened again, she left me once again, and decided to go date a guy she had always walked her dog with, claiming to me that he was "just a friend". I later find out he pressured her into having sex with her when she did not want to. It took an unfortunate car accident that put me in a coma for her to realize what she did was wrong. Since we had gotten back, I thought everything would be alright..

But come early december, we were having very minor issues, I was somewhat clingy to her and for this reason, she dumped me. For good. Again, I missed her, and this time I pleaded we get back together because I could not give her up, I don't want to, and I really did not want to. I had told myself I'd do everything to keep the love we shared alive.

This time she made a complete 180. Some days after this happened, she began to change.

Comes January, I begin to miss her so badly that I message her. I had not messaged her since the day she dumped me. I find out she has picked up a new guy and claims he's "just a friend" once again, and yet that their dating. She also goes to tell me she isn't seeing anyone. :/

Now this is where I worry.. I worry that, the love I had shown to my ex, would be looked back at as nothing, useless, worthless. It worries me greatly. Its what is on my mind every day. It adds on to the pain I feel about loosing her.

Despite loosing her and all she did to me I still wanted her back. But at this point, there is no return.

This is really hard..has anyone had any successful stories of recovery. I really want to move on but in my mind she lingers.

 

 

tl;dr: I need some emotional help/advice, I miss my ex a lot despite no going back.

[Mr Scorpio]

Successful stories of recovery? Not here. How about a tale where the same guy gets rejected several times by the same woman? We've got plenty of that around here.

 

Now see here! This broad dropped you like a bad habit when someone else started "courting her". That right there is all you should have needed to understand that this person is no good for you. No good! But we're all human. So you went back and got burned again. There is no shame in that. Plenty of people have done it. You pick yourself up. You dust yourself off. You get back to being you.

 

My advice? Find as many ways as you can to occupy your mind. Books, music, movies, video-games, exercise, studying, cooking, cleaning, visiting friends/relatives, playing sports, watching tv, learning an instrument, trying new things, making new friends.

 

Do anything other than sitting around thinking about your ex. She's going to lead her own confused life. No need to let her drag you down.

[zzrez]

Thank you! This is what I've been told by a few others but again, I was at fault too in some ways, mainly the insecurity and being a little clingy after getting back the second time around.

 

Another thing that bothers me is that I feel wholly guilty for things ending.

I mean for the most part the relationship was good but the final time I spoke to her she was cold to me as if what we had never existed. She replaced me quite fast in a month.