lovesick1 Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 It's been almost a year with my current girlfriend and I am on the verge of ending things. Things pushing me towards the breakup Practical - She'll be in med school starting next year - I have more career opportunities further upstate where the cost of living is about half what I pay now. I've done long distance before for a few years and it was such a disaster I swore it off forever. - We almost never make out. This is a big one. She is such a bad kisser and no amount of talking or trying to change the way she does it has helped, she always reverts to the same old style. I don't even want to try and change it because kissing her has almost no appeal to me. - Communication when we are apart is awful. Most of this is because she is constantly busy preparing for med school and never has time to talk. I don't like feeling like if I call her there is almost a 100% chance she won't answer - We have very different interests. So much so that we can't carry on a conversation on the phone without periods of absolute silence. Whenever one of us tells a story half the time the other person just responds with an "uh-huh" because we frankly don't care what they are talking about. - There was never the initial spark. Partly because we are so different. Superficial - She let loose so many awful SBDs the other night and tried to pretend like she didn't notice. I refused to say anything for fear of humiliating her. Then she continued doing it in my bed all night still not acknowledging any of it, which made me angry. It smelled so bad. The fact that she would do that and pretend not to notice when it was very evident (the whole room smelled like ****) made her so much less appealing - Every time we kiss her damn noggin, which is so long from breaking it three times, gets in the way Things holding me back - I am so awful at break-ups and staying broken up. Too sentimental - She is perfect on paper, a go-getter, smart as hell, beautiful, extremely lax about what I do on my on time, and makes lots of sacrifices to make me happy - We never fight. Anytime one of us has an issue we calmly bring it up and talk it out until the issue is solved and then go about our business. - I am worried I'll regret it considering how much I regretted dumping me ex at times, even though it was for the best (as this relationship may be)
Gemini x Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 - She let loose so many awful SBDs the other night and tried to pretend like she didn't notice. I refused to say anything for fear of humiliating her. Then she continued doing it in my bed all night still not acknowledging any of it, which made me angry. It smelled so bad. The fact that she would do that and pretend not to notice when it was very evident (the whole room smelled like ****) made her so much less appealing Omg, my ex always poked fun at me because I fart in my sleep. I wasn't aware of this as no one else I've ever been with mentioned it. I saw this picture on facebook the other day that said; "love is not having to hold your farts in anymore" 2
headinthecloud Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Let her go. You don't love her. She deserves better. 4
tlegend Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Let her go. You don't love her. She deserves better. One of the most shallow lists I've seen in a while. My 2 cents. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I think you should ride your high horse on out of this relationship. 3
pickflicker Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 If you're going to dump her, then please, ensure that you do it once and stay that way. On top of everything else, don't torture her with "Oops, I made a mistake..." 2
pickflicker Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Omg, my ex always poked fun at me because I fart in my sleep. I wasn't aware of this as no one else I've ever been with mentioned it. I saw this picture on facebook the other day that said; "love is not having to hold your farts in anymore" Love means cleaning up your partner's puke when they're sick. :-) 1
Musing Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Oh man. I lost it at the "Silent but Deadlies" OP, the thing is you don't have attraction or chemistry with this girl anymore (if you did to begin with, but only you know that) so your mind is trying to justify the break up. Any little "thing" she does that is not normal, or attractive is going to be magnified by 100. Meaning something that could be percieved as endearing or cute, or maybe a little odd is now repulsive to you. You don't want to break up with her because of her interests, or her nose, or her farts. You want to break up with her simply because you're not feeling it, which is intensifying everything else. Definitely rip of the band-aid now while the relationship is still young. 2
veggirl Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 You shouldn't have posted this on the break up forum. This section is full of people who will crucify others for wanting to dump someone because they were just dumped. IMO you guys are waaaaay incompatible and it doesn't mean you are a bad person for that and she is wonderful like others are insinuating. I wouldn't list "not fighting" as a plus when the fact is you likely don't fight w/ each other cause neither of you CARE enough to! Why would you even start dating someone you have no spark with? You aren't going to regret breaking up w/ someone you have no spark with when you DO find someone you have a spark with. Cut her loose.
Author lovesick1 Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 Oh man. I lost it at the "Silent but Deadlies" OP, the thing is you don't have attraction or chemistry with this girl anymore (if you did to begin with, but only you know that) so your mind is trying to justify the break up. Any little "thing" she does that is not normal, or attractive is going to be magnified by 100. Meaning something that could be percieved as endearing or cute, or maybe a little odd is now repulsive to you. You don't want to break up with her because of her interests, or her nose, or her farts. You want to break up with her simply because you're not feeling it, which is intensifying everything else. Definitely rip of the band-aid now while the relationship is still young. Absolutely dead on nail on the head.
Musing Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Absolutely dead on nail on the head. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt You shouldn't have posted this on the break up forum. This section is full of people who will crucify others for wanting to dump someone because they were just dumped. Oh pishposh, I was just dumped and I found the post hilarious because of that SBD line. I'm just being juvenile If my ex had written this I would have busted out laughing from that alone because, well...he had to deal with my stank, not me. Okay, I'm leaving this alone now. Good luck OP, just be real with her and turn her loose. You'll both feel better in the long run.
burningashes Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Ok, she was letting out SBD farts, and you didn't say anything? Why in the heavens wouldn't you ask her to take it to the bathroom? I would have poked the pink elephant in the room and asked my boyfriend to use the bathroom. He's the one who's farting- he can be embarassed about it for all I care, that's what the bathroom is for! Yeah, end this relationship and don't call her back if she's THAT bad for you. You don't exactly sound like you're sensible either.
Author lovesick1 Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 Sensible, yes I am very sensible. Sensitive, not so much- I am very blunt and real with people. I will be ending it with her in the next day or two. Thinking of letting her down easy and just saying I have decided I am moving (which will likely happen) and I don't see a future with us when that happens
lionheart153 Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 the only thing I want to say is, if you plan to dump her. Please do it the right way? Having been dumped recently, tell her why, and don't give false hope and you need to be sure above anything else. That way she gets closure. 1
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