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Should I still be angry with my father?


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Posted

Basically my dad cheated on my mom when they were still married.

 

He also physically hit her many times in my presence when I was just a small child.

 

My mom never reported him to the police because she was afraid.

 

He also made her abort their first kid.

 

 

Sometimes I remember all of those things he did, and it makes me angry.

 

 

Should I just forget all about it and forgive him?

 

 

Edit: If this is in the wrong sub forum, could it please be moved to the right one? Thank you.

Posted

Each of those things are pretty terrible. In total, your dad doesn't sound like the nicest guy.

 

 

I'd ignore him. I wouldn't forgive him but I wouldn't let it eat me alive either.

 

 

If he comes to you & asks for your forgiveness, ask him why he deserves it? What has he done to show he's sorry? What has he done to change?

 

 

Whether you accept his answers is up to you but you can't let him & your feelings about him consume you.

Posted
Sometimes I remember all of those things he did, and it makes me angry.

 

 

Should I just forget all about it and forgive him?

No, forgetting would than be the same thing as denial. Those memories still influence you and your way of doing (psychologically speaking) and they cause you emotions that you have to deal with (in multiple meanings). It would be best to explore these questions in therapy. For now it is far to early to speak about forgiving.

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