solostand Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 So its been 13 days no contact since he went down south. I turned my phone off, so it goes straight to voicemail. Normal people leave messages. He never leaves messages, although its possible he hasn't called. Irrelevant anyway. I am working to get him out of my head. Coming up with mantras when he pops in because I can obsess so badly. One day I even wore an elastic band on my wrist. I used to spend hours obsessing about telling his wife and how i was going to do it et cetera. I ban those thoughts. I recognize when they're coming in and tell myself it is a waste of time, and my brain. Its still really hard though.
Speakingofwhich Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 So its been 13 days no contact since he went down south. I turned my phone off, so it goes straight to voicemail. Normal people leave messages. He never leaves messages, although its possible he hasn't called. Irrelevant anyway. I am working to get him out of my head. Coming up with mantras when he pops in because I can obsess so badly. One day I even wore an elastic band on my wrist. I used to spend hours obsessing about telling his wife and how i was going to do it et cetera. I ban those thoughts. I recognize when they're coming in and tell myself it is a waste of time, and my brain. Its still really hard though. So sorry it's rough, Solo. But, I understand what you're going through. When you get on the other side of this you'll be so thankful!
daretotrustlove Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 5 weeks tomorrow for me. It still hurts.
Author solostand Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 Arrrggghhh. Just woke up from an extremely vivid dream. One of those dreams that you think are real even when you wake up. He had just showed up at my house and was sitting in my living room. I said "how long have you been back?" and he said "five days". I was very angry but then he put a bunch of hundred dollar bills in my hat!I was still pissed but was actually gonna have sex with him. Then a bunch of university students kept walking in and telling me what I was doing with this man was very very wrong. They were actually outraged. Then he said "I was so horny I actually had sex with my wife last night." There is a lot of telling information in that dream I believe.
Speakingofwhich Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Arrrggghhh. Just woke up from an extremely vivid dream. One of those dreams that you think are real even when you wake up. He had just showed up at my house and was sitting in my living room. I said "how long have you been back?" and he said "five days". I was very angry but then he put a bunch of hundred dollar bills in my hat!I was still pissed but was actually gonna have sex with him. Then a bunch of university students kept walking in and telling me what I was doing with this man was very very wrong. They were actually outraged. Then he said "I was so horny I actually had sex with my wife last night." There is a lot of telling information in that dream I believe. What do you believe the dream means, Solo?
blue963 Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 These kinds of dreams are amazing. Hopefully it gave you some clarity.
Author solostand Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 What do you believe the dream means, Solo? I think the dream means he is not trustworthy (home for five days and not telling me). I think the dream means my boundaries or morals are all askew since I knew the affair was wrong but continued to do it. The university students represented other people's moral compass in expressing how wrong it is. The hundred dollar bills represented that the money that was doled out to me was more important than I thought it was. Despite him not telling me he was home and the university students - I was willing to have sex with him after he put hundred dollar bills in my hat. The I was so horny I actually had sex with my wife comment shows his lack of respect for her.
sunburned Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I'd say that's some insightful introspection! Solostand, your NC is sort of imposed by his international travel if I understand correctly. I hope you can use this dream to maintain NC once he returns. He will surely want to start up again when he returns -- within five days at least : ) 1
blueseptember Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I would love to hear your tips to ban the thoughts if him and reduce the urge to tell his spouse. I am totally obsessing and still can't stop thinking of my exAP. I would love hear how others make it through their day without laying in bed feeling sorry for themselves.
Speakingofwhich Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I think the dream means he is not trustworthy (home for five days and not telling me). I think the dream means my boundaries or morals are all askew since I knew the affair was wrong but continued to do it. The university students represented other people's moral compass in expressing how wrong it is. The hundred dollar bills represented that the money that was doled out to me was more important than I thought it was. Despite him not telling me he was home and the university students - I was willing to have sex with him after he put hundred dollar bills in my hat. The I was so horny I actually had sex with my wife comment shows his lack of respect for her. Your interpretation seems to indicate that you are courageous and brave! Because you didn't flinch from facing the truth and you were brave enough to post the meaning! You are brave and courageous, Solo! And I believe you will get through this just fine.....day by day! 1
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