clairbear Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 3 weeks NC ( broken once and made me feel worse) I guess I just miss him and wonder if he misses me... I know this won't help but I just feel really rejected by him and it's hard to take I want someone to tell me it will all be ok and I will feel better soon I want him to contact me so I can tell him where to go! Very sad and egocentric I know! Help!
Secret Advisor Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 NC doesn't work when you still have feelings for the person. You have to start hating him.
sunburned Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 I disagree! It does work but not overnight, not even in 3 weeks. NC is very hard but, as you saw firsthand, breaking it is worse. Give yourself at least 3 months. If you're a slow learner like me you may need more! Big hug. 2
MissBee Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 3 weeks NC ( broken once and made me feel worse) I guess I just miss him and wonder if he misses me... I know this won't help but I just feel really rejected by him and it's hard to take I want someone to tell me it will all be ok and I will feel better soon I want him to contact me so I can tell him where to go! Very sad and egocentric I know! Help! The feelings do pass! Just push through them and trust me they wane.
whichwayisup Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 3 weeks NC ( broken once and made me feel worse) I guess I just miss him and wonder if he misses me... I know this won't help but I just feel really rejected by him and it's hard to take I want someone to tell me it will all be ok and I will feel better soon I want him to contact me so I can tell him where to go! Very sad and egocentric I know! Help! Don't let your ego get in the way. You are right, every time contact is broken you end up hurting even more again, setting you back. It will be okay and you'll be fine as time goes on. NC will allow you to detach and put all the focus back on you and your life. NC has to happen in your head too, try your best not to think of him, when you do, distract yourself, get busy or call a friend. Go out and do something to change it up. Stop being afraid of the pain and all the awful feelings. The only way to get over him is to face all that stuff head on and push forward. Allow yourself to cry, to miss him but tell yourself that it has to be this way so you can let go and get your life back again. Be strong and be tough on yourself. Make yourself accountable! Make a promise to 'you' that you are really done and do everything you can to make him disappear from your life on all levels. 1
Author clairbear Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 Thanks for all the replies I know what I need to do, just feel really lonely right now, I'm annoyed because I was in a really good place before he came along and I now feel sad and desolate Thanks again for the kind words 1
RickFox Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 NC doesn't work when you still have feelings for the person. You have to start hating him. Wrong hate is a strong emotion as is love and in this case are tied to each other..... indifference is desired but does not happen fast 3
wasntlooking Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 Clairbear I struggle with Nc everyday, its been four months. I can tell you it doesnt hurt as bad as it did earlier on but i still havd my bad days. I imposed Nc and I know it was a good thing but part of me says id be happier if we were still in the A. But i did not want to hurt innocent people with my own selfish actions. I think you have to accept that you will probably never fully forget him or A. Just accept that. What you can do is try to force yourself not to fantasize because ive learned on here that we tend to overly fsntasize them. They are not as good as we think they are. Stay NC. Trust me I get it. Its the hardest thing Ive ever had to do and I started it! Stay strong, post here when you feel the urge to contact. We will help each other. Just remeber it does get better with time, and there are people who it takes longer than others. Sunburned and I are still struggling but it does get better, promise.
Author clairbear Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 Thanks wasntlooking your support means a lot I am aiming for indifference as like Rick said that means I truly don't care anymore! Maybe a bit of hate along the way to help me stay strong and stay away from him!!! I feel sick to my stomach, everything reminds me of him and it floors me every time!
Recommended Posts