CalvinM Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 (edited) My family (parents, aunt/uncle, etc) all live very close to this lady (she's 27) I started seeing just over a month ago. We had our first sleep over date Tues and it was really nice. She said she likes me a lot and wants me to meet her sister who she thinks I'd get along with well (we're both artistic). That said, I'd been looking for a change of scenery since Christmas (before we met), and while I wouldn't be moving closer for her, she has mentioned that the distance between Kingston (her) and Ottawa (myself, about two hours), is more difficult than she imagined. I'm 32 yrs old and do freelance Graphic design, so in theory, I could likely bring my clients with me and work anywhere. That said, in about 4 months she's leaving for England for 3 months, she gets back for a month and after that she'll be doing her internship and is applying to New York, California, Vancouver and Alberta, among other places. It's way too soon to ask her about that stuff with me in mind, but I feel like our temperaments are very similar, we want a lot of the same things, have the same tastes in art and literature, as well, I adore her, respect her and think she's incredibly funny and intelligent. With all that in mind, it still feels like a huge leap. Anyone have any advice? Edited February 7, 2014 by CalvinM
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 If you want to move for reasons that have nothing to do with her, fine. Moving closer to her now seems pointless because she isn't going to be there much longer.
justwhoiam Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 It looks like she's planning anything without you in mind. So that says it all, to me.
CherryT Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 I wouldn't move for her yet. It's only been a month. And it also seems like she has other plans, probably plans she's had prior to meeting you. I wouldn't think she's at a point in adjusting her plans for you, just in over a month and you probably shouldn't either. I would bring up the conversation about being long distance and of course, if things go well, that it can't be long distance forever. It's a conversation you can have early on in your relationship. We talked about it early on because we are 3 hours by plane away from one another. We both agreed that liking each other wasn't enough for one of us to uproot our lives and move… but if we got serious and got engaged, then we would. And that's exactly what happened. 1
Author CalvinM Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 It looks like she's planning anything without you in mind. So that says it all, to me. We've only been on three dates, I wouldn't expect her to have me in her future plans any more than a month ahead, and even that's wishful thinking. Thank you CherryT, that was what I wanted/needed to hear.
Author CalvinM Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 I wouldn't move for her yet. It's only been a month. And it also seems like she has other plans, probably plans she's had prior to meeting you. I wouldn't think she's at a point in adjusting her plans for you, just in over a month and you probably shouldn't either. I would bring up the conversation about being long distance and of course, if things go well, that it can't be long distance forever. It's a conversation you can have early on in your relationship. We talked about it early on because we are 3 hours by plane away from one another. We both agreed that liking each other wasn't enough for one of us to uproot our lives and move… but if we got serious and got engaged, then we would. And that's exactly what happened. At what point should I bring it up? In a month, next time I see her (next weekend)?
CherryT Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 At what point should I bring it up? In a month, next time I see her (next weekend)? Sure. We talked about it about a month in. We just wanted to make sure we were both not adamant of not moving. If we were both not willing to move, it wouldn't have worked. It wasn't super serious and we weren't planning our future wedding, but we at least knew that if we wanted to be together, one day we could be.
Author CalvinM Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 Bit of an update; I've put in a transfer at work to relocate closer. No timetable on when the transfer will go through, but my family are happy and she seems excited too. We also spoke last night (mostly she talked and I listened) and she brought up the idea of postponing her trip to England until early next year which is the best news. I'm not sure it has anything to do with her and I, nor do I care. She's using a mild medical issue as a 'convenient excuse' to postpone. It's a work related trip, so she just needs to clear it with her supervisor. The other thing I noticed is she's started sending me links to concerts and social events a few weeks in advance, which I think shows that she sees a future with us at least.
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