Redhawkk Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 (edited) Hello fellow copers, I'm about a week into a break up that has steadily been happening over the holidays; in other words, I knew it was coming. Still, we were together for almost three years. So, as much as I have my ups and downs of missing her, I'm doing my best to move on with life. I just bought a year-long membership to a gym and I'm currently finishing College and will be starting University in the fall. Big changes in life are ahead of me, I've realized that. Unfortunately, it adds to the stress and current "****e" in my life. I'm writing this post today as a kind of 'suggestions to moving on'. I need a little guidance. I'm going out a lot more, I haven't contacted my EX or her family(although I will have to soon, but I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for that), and I've got a few friends to rely on for support. But at night I find myself bored and lonely. I just can't seem to do anything except watch cartoons. What I need is a hobby; I've taken up writing and it helps, but when I lose the momentum, I just become a brain-dead, single man. Is there anything that anyone here could recommend aside from working out or hobbies? From experience, I'm asking those who have, or are also currently going through a break-up, as to how to move on. I would appreciate some advice in these grim times. Especially since Valentine's day(yah yah, it's commercial I know. But I would have plans) is coming up. This forum is amazing BTW. Edited February 7, 2014 by Redhawkk Typo and apology for the swear 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 Hello fellow copers, I'm about a week into a break up that has steadily been happening over the holidays; in other words, I knew it was coming. Still, we were together for almost three years. So, as much as I have my ups and downs of missing her, I'm doing my best to move on with life. I just bought a year-long membership to a gym and I'm currently finishing College and will be starting University in the fall. Big changes in life are ahead of me, I've realized that. Unfortunately, it adds to the stress and current "****e" in my life. I'm writing this post today as a kind of 'suggestions to moving on'. I need a little guidance. I'm going out a lot more, I haven't contacted my EX or her family(although I will have to soon, but I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for that), and I've got a few friends to rely on for support. But at night I find myself bored and lonely. I just can't seem to do anything except watch cartoons. What I need is a hobby; I've taken up writing and it helps, but when I lose the momentum, I just become a brain-dead, single man. Is there anything that anyone here could recommend aside from working out or hobbies? From experience, I'm asking those who have, or are also currently going through a break-up, as to how to move on. I would appreciate some advice in these grim times. Especially since Valentine's day(yah yah, it's commercial I know. But I would have plans) is coming up. This forum is amazing BTW. Hi there I understand what you are going through. Same is the case with me. LTR break up 2 weeks ago. Nights are hard since you miss them. I have been trying to keep myself distracted at nights. I am a big reader, I have made it a point to read a book an hour before bedtime . Before that I am either watching movies online or playing games. I know these ideas are lame but these are the only things that keep me distracted from my ex. Try listening to music before bedtime. It might calm you down!
picnicinthepark Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 I'm in the same boat as you red and bubble. Exercise will do you good. I'm training for a marathon and running is very therapeutic. Exercise releases endorphins in your body which make you feel better. Also by exercising you'll be healthier and look better which will lead to you feeling even better! I know what you mean red by keeping busy but still thinking about her. It will get better. Writing helps, either in a journal or on forums like LS. It's an outlet and also something you can look back on to see how you've grown. You need to try your best to control your emotions. It's still pretty fresh for us but it will get better. I hated to hear that from friends and family but it's true and break ups are a part of life. We will get through this! I'm learning a new language (German) and this is very challenging so it distracts me. You can do anything you've always wanted to do! If you're not sure, take a leap of faith. You never know until you try. Please try your best to stay positive and hang in there. I'm getting better everyday. You can't do it alone though so surround yourself with friends and family. I'm here for you brother (and you too bubble) and everything is gonna be okay! 2
darkmoon Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 develop an ambition, you will have to focus on some goals, busy bees make the best honey and money
picnicinthepark Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 Another thing... We're still so young! You're just getting into university (congrats!) and this is the best time for you to discover who you are and what your aspirations in life are. You have everything going for you! If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. In the meantime move on. You need his time for yourself. There will always be memories and they hurt now but you will be grateful in the long run. Life is a learning experience and this is just a small speed bump. You're going to be great! As for Valentine's Day... **** it. Don't even think about it for a second. Have a great day and I look forward to hearing how you're doing!
bubblesbursted Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 I'm in the same boat as you red and bubble. Exercise will do you good. I'm training for a marathon and running is very therapeutic. Exercise releases endorphins in your body which make you feel better. Also by exercising you'll be healthier and look better which will lead to you feeling even better! I know what you mean red by keeping busy but still thinking about her. It will get better. Writing helps, either in a journal or on forums like LS. It's an outlet and also something you can look back on to see how you've grown. You need to try your best to control your emotions. It's still pretty fresh for us but it will get better. I hated to hear that from friends and family but it's true and break ups are a part of life. We will get through this! I'm learning a new language (German) and this is very challenging so it distracts me. You can do anything you've always wanted to do! If you're not sure, take a leap of faith. You never know until you try. Please try your best to stay positive and hang in there. I'm getting better everyday. You can't do it alone though so surround yourself with friends and family. I'm here for you brother (and you too bubble) and everything is gonna be okay! Thank you Picnic. Really appreciate the gesture. It is fresh, still feels like it just happened yesterday but I know it will get better. Man..I was just having a weak moment..But I am trying to s**k it up. We will get through this much stronger than before. I am here for you all as well. Do let me know if I can be of any help. 1
Author Redhawkk Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 Danke schön, Picnic (Thank you in German, I speak a little btw ) I've done a lot since yesterday. I've made plans for a brunch(with friends) on valentine's day, I just got a year membership at a gym, wrote an article and the first exciting chapter to a short story I can say I've had quite the progression in keeping busy. Especially with school Like Bubble said as well, we all go through this, and we'll all pull through together All in all, even with only 5 days NC/post-breakup...I'm doing alright 1
BC1980 Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 I did a lot of exercise in the early days because it gave me positive goals to work towards. It also forced me to get out of bed when I didn't want to, and it gave a structure to my days. It can be so hard because you are used to planning your day with another person in mind. I used to take care of my ex's son everyday, so I was totally lost when we broke up. I had planned my life around his son for 3 years, and I had given up a lot of things I wanted to do for his son. I don't regret that for one minute, but there was a huge gap after it ended. Try to be around people as much as possible. I ended up reconnecting with a few friends I had neglected while with my ex. I accepted any offer to go out even when I didn't want to.
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