Should any female 25 or older be making a big deal about not having a Valentine?

February 6, 2014

I was talking to this girl I met online and she was saying how on VD she plans to be alone and eating chocolates and sad. I thought only teens made a big deal about Valentine day not grown women

Its amazing how the media controls the thought process of so many people

February 6, 2014

We can say all we want about the commercialization of holidays like ♥Valentine's day, but the truth of the matter is that it exists and it's a very influential part of our Western (mostly American) culture.

There are expectations and emotions ingrained into the holiday. ♥Valentines day has nothing to do with age. It is a holiday perpetrated by the consumerist industry to provide a public, vocal day to the expression of love in its various, expensive, materialistic ways.

It was design to give the GROWN WOMAN her day in the sun! It was not originally intended for children or teens in mind (I believe this is right. Someone correct me, if not), though, clearly, it encompasses them too.

...and woe to the unfortunate lover who fails to acknowledge it.

BTW, as consumerist as it has become, I actually love doing things for my SO on VD!

Edited February 6, 2014 by soccerrprp

February 6, 2014

This is a suitable and funny meme for Valentines Day. Do not open if you are feeling sad, lonely ,or like like nobody loves you or if valentines day causes you to feel bad. Saw it on Facebook and had a great laugh, at my own expense!

http://d3qvyul2tp4j8.cloudfront.net/i/Vg5K6vCdLO.jpg

February 6, 2014

We can say all we want about the commercialization of holidays like ♥Valentine's day, but the truth of the matter is that it exists and it's a very influential part of our Western (mostly American) culture.

There are expectations and emotions ingrained into the holiday. ♥Valentines day has nothing to do with age. It is a holiday perpetrated by the consumerist industry to provide a public, vocal day to the expression of love in its various, expensive, materialistic ways.

It was design to give the GROWN WOMAN her day in the sun! It was not originally intended for children or teens in mind (I believe this is right. Someone correct me, if not), though, clearly, it encompasses them too.

...and woe to the unfortunate lover who fails to acknowledge it.

BTW, as consumerist as it has become, I actually love doing things for my SO on VD!

So u don't think its junvenile to for a grown women to be depressed because she is single on Valentine's Day? Now if she was involved and didn't get anything then she should be upset or sad

February 6, 2014

Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday used to sell cards and chocolates.

It puts unnecessary pressure on couples to deliver the "perfect" day for one another, and it makes single people (mainly single females) feel self conscious and lonely.

You can choose to celebrate your love in a variety of ways, on a variety of days. If you need a country to tell you "this is the day where you will celebrate your love," then I don't know what to say.

People that are legitimately upset that they're alone on Valentine's Day as opposed to any of the days before and after it are playing right into corporate America's hand.

Stop being a sheep.

February 6, 2014

So u don't think its junvenile to for a grown women to be depressed because she is single on Valentine's Day? Now if she was involved and didn't get anything then she should be upset or sad

Juvenile? No. People have a very strong desire to be wanted, to be with someone they love. Nothing juvenile about that. Unfortunately, VD is a public reminder of just how much or little they have in terms of romance, being loved by another. It is sad for many, but it is the way of things.

Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday used to sell cards and chocolates.

It puts unnecessary pressure on couples to deliver the "perfect" day for one another, and it makes single people (mainly single females) feel self conscious and lonely.

You can choose to celebrate your love in a variety of ways, on a variety of days. If you need a country to tell you "this is the day where you will celebrate your love," then I don't know what to say.

People that are legitimately upset that they're alone on Valentine's Day as opposed to any of the days before and after it are playing right into corporate America's hand.

Stop being a sheep.

Ah, yes, so true. Baaa Baaa...need to go plan for Valentine's day so that my gf doesn't think i'm a cynical, lazy jack-wagon.

February 6, 2014

So u don't think its junvenile to for a grown women to be depressed because she is single on Valentine's Day? Now if she was involved and didn't get anything then she should be upset or sad

No, it isn't juvenile. People's feelings are never juvenile - even if others believe they are 'inappropriate' or 'out of proportion' with the circumstances.

Personally, I don't bother with Valentine's day and neither does my guy. To us, it's just commercial nonsense. That doesn't mean that I sneer at anyone who finds the day meaningful in some way.

It's not up to you to say whether or not she should be upset or sad. There will be more people celebrating their love for one another in some romantic way on 14 February, than not. If she has nobody to share the day with, why shouldn't she be sad - regardless of her age?

February 6, 2014

Its amazing how the media controls the thought process of so many people

I think you have it wrong. If it were a birthday I would imagine it would be sad to be alone as well. Holidays in general are hard for a person who is alone and would rather not be. It's not the media, it's the fact that holidays can really crystallize the fact that you are alone. For me, New Years is the worst holiday to be single through.

February 6, 2014

Ah, yes, so true. Baaa Baaa...need to go plan for Valentine's day so that my gf doesn't think i'm a cynical, lazy jack-wagon.

It's commercialized garbage. Spontaneity reigns supreme when it comes to romance. I think if on a regular day, let's say April 5th, you're at work, and you have a moment where you say "you know, I'm lucky to have this girl in my life...I'm gonna surprise her with flowers tonight and take her out to dinner," that's worth much more than "Oh, February 14th today, time to get her a card and chocolates and take her out to dinner like every other man ever in the history of this holiday."

You're just going through the motions at that point. It's manufactured romance. It's putting on a show (for the man, I guess the end game is to get laid, and for her, to feel wanted and to show off to her friends how desired she really is?). There's no originality. Everybody is out there doing the same thing.

I'm sure there are the rare couples that do something unique and heartfelt, but that's a minority. Let's be real here. Guys are buying teddy bears and chocolates to get laid. And single people look on in jealousy because they're not getting any. Let's just call it what it is. Nothing "romantic" about it. Not in the grand scheme of it at least.

February 6, 2014

Valentines day is such a scam. I had a 1st date last valentines day and it was no big deal. No chemistry, and I moved on. It's just another day.

February 6, 2014

It's commercialized garbage. Spontaneity reigns supreme when it comes to romance. I think if on a regular day, let's say April 5th, you're at work, and you have a moment where you say "you know, I'm lucky to have this girl in my life...I'm gonna surprise her with flowers tonight and take her out to dinner," that's worth much more than "Oh, February 14th today, time to get her a card and chocolates and take her out to dinner like every other man ever in the history of this holiday."

You're just going through the motions at that point. It's manufactured romance. It's putting on a show (for the man, I guess the end game is to get laid, and for her, to feel wanted and to show off to her friends how desired she really is?). There's no originality. Everybody is out there doing the same thing.

I'm sure there are the rare couples that do something unique and heartfelt, but that's a minority. Let's be real here. Guys are buying teddy bears and chocolates to get laid. And single people look on in jealousy because they're not getting any. Let's just call it what it is. Nothing "romantic" about it. Not in the grand scheme of it at least.

I hear ya. I actively acknowledge my gf daily, so no need to be reminded. But VD is important for the ladies, especially. I don't need a degree to recognize that as much of a sham it may be, it is, never the less, important to some.

February 6, 2014

The years I didn't a Valentine I was sad. It kind of feels like the whole world is judging you. It feels like everybody else is happily coupled up & you are on the outside longing for that special someone. You may feel lonely on other days but all the hype & the Hallmark-ness just makes it worse.

WP4046 -- If you like the girl in Q or think you might, do something cutsie for her that day like send her an electronic cartoon that says Happy Valentine's Day. If you go to a site like jibjab.com you can send an anti-valentine's message; there's one about chocolate. It could be sweet.

February 6, 2014

It's just another day.

So is Mother's Day, Independence Day, Memorial Day, anniversaries, birthdays, etc., etc.

It's only as important as you make it.

February 6, 2014

I was talking to this girl I met online and she was saying how on VD she plans to be alone and eating chocolates and sad. I thought only teens made a big deal about Valentine day not grown women

Its amazing how the media controls the thought process of so many people

Despite what Valentines day is, or isn't- my answer is twofold; I find it weird that a grown woman would reveal that to you, but not so weird that she would feel that way.

I have chosen to be single, and I get a lot of (unwanted) feedback from family and friends about being single. As if they can't comprehend why I would ever want that. I do think people believe they are doing well for themselves if they are in a couple, and being single on valentines day is just a reminder of the individuals short comings.

February 6, 2014

Valentine's Day, A pagan festival Christianized, and then, securalized to encourage consumption. From sacrificing a goat to buying a card at your local Walmart. It's so silly if you look at the origins of these holidays. Yes, silly.

Romance should be unpredictable, unplanned, genuine, and spontaneous. Having a day for romance is like having a schedule for sex .

February 6, 2014

The years I didn't a Valentine I was sad. It kind of feels like the whole world is judging you. It feels like everybody else is happily coupled up & you are on the outside longing for that special someone. You may feel lonely on other days but all the hype & the Hallmark-ness just makes it worse.

WP4046 -- If you like the girl in Q or think you might, do something cutsie for her that day like send her an electronic cartoon that says Happy Valentine's Day. If you go to a site like jibjab.com you can send an anti-valentine's message; there's one about chocolate. It could be sweet.

Who are these people you are referring to? For example, on 2/14 I will be going to work and then after work I will be going home. So who exactly will be judging me at work?

February 6, 2014

Who are these people you are referring to? For example, on 2/14 I will be going to work and then after work I will be going home. So who exactly will be judging me at work?

Nobody is actually doing the judging. It just "feels" like that to many women. For example when I was single if a co-worker got a big bouquet of flowers on V-Day that felt like the flowers & their new owner were rubbing it in that I was single & nobody was sending me flowers.

If course, my co-workers didn't care. Although there were some years when other women would say things they meant to be kind but inadvertently hurt like "Some day you will find the right guy." That's not meant to be mean but it feels that way.

None of this is logical but I am trying to give you insight into what is going on in your new acquaintance's head.

February 7, 2014

This will be my first valentines day with someone.

Yes, in all the years past there was a feeling of sadness and loneliness. A bit of a feeling like it was being rubbed in my face that no one wanted me. And sure, I KNEW it was stupid to feel that way based on a made up holiday, but there was no denying that there were so many people out there showing their love for each other and I had no one who felt like that about me.

Now I have someone, and I'm anxious about V-day because I have no idea what to do. I want to make him happy and I feel like I won't do something good enough. I already know he's got big plans and has been prepared for weeks. I don't know what to do to live up to him... I've never done this before.

February 7, 2014

Now I have someone, and I'm anxious about V-day because I have no idea what to do. I want to make him happy and I feel like I won't do something good enough. I already know he's got big plans and has been prepared for weeks. I don't know what to do to live up to him... I've never done this before.

Feed him. If you are already sexually active with him, buy some red lingerie & give him a BJ. Guys don't really want the hearts & flowers.

February 7, 2014

Feed him. If you are already sexually active with him, buy some red lingerie & give him a BJ. Guys don't really want the hearts & flowers.

None of that seems good enough.

He already gets fed. I'm gonna bake some stuff but that's not enough. Not even close.

He gets multiple blowjobs every day as it is.

The things people suggest I do are things I already do every day. I don't know how to do something even more special. And what especially sucks is that he does not like me spending money on him. He got grumpy over the amount I spent for Xmas.

Plus I work full back to back shifts on the 13th, 14th, 15th and 16th so I don't even know WHEN I can do anything or how I'm gonna manage any of it.

February 7, 2014

I was talking to this girl I met online and she was saying how on VD she plans to be alone and eating chocolates and sad. I thought only teens made a big deal about Valentine day not grown women

Its amazing how the media controls the thought process of so many people

It's a bit much to react this way. Why not be sad and eat chocolates every other day while single then, why just Valentine's Day? I get that it's probably a day that may remind you more of your singleness than other days, but frankly, the only people who act like that on Valentine's Day are those who base their worth and happiness in life on being in a relationship.

When I'm single and it's Valentine's Day it's still been very good for me and not depressing. Usually my single gfs and I will exchange little gifts, even my non-single gfs participate, and we use it as a day to appreciate our friends and family as well as SO. One of the best Valentine's Days I had was in college, it was after a breakup, and one of my friends' moms overnighted us a package of gourmet chocolate covered strawberries and I made shrimp scampi for dinner with some wine and she, I and another friend ate the chocolates, drank wine, watched rom coms, talked, laughed and had a super awesome time. Another great single valentine's day, my roommate at the time, who was also a dear friend decorated my bedroom door so when I came out of my room there were balloons, decorations, hearts and she taped a bouquet of carnations to my door, with a homemade card and a bag of candy. It was super cute! I had also actually gotten her some cupcakes and a friendship vday card.

Maybe I just have super awesome friends (I think that's it ) but when I'm single VDay is no more depressing and sad than any other day and usually my girlfriends and I who are single will treat ourselves and enjoy our friendship on that day. This year both my roommate and I are single and we're getting a "couple's massage", we actually bought it on Groupon together because it was a better deal to get a couple's one than individual, and we're also very good friends, so it's not like it would be awkward. We haven't gotten the time to go get the massage but on VDay our schedules are free so we're gonna do that! She's also very sweet and we normally buy each other cards, candy or she makes homemade soaps, bubble baths and scrubs and gives them out on Vday. So sorry, for me, being single on Vday has never been depressing and for anyone who is depressed I'd advise them to think of it as a day of love more broadly and not just romantic love, that way you can focus on loving your self and treating yourself to something nice or doing something nice for/with your friends or family.

Edited February 7, 2014 by MissBee

February 7, 2014

None of that seems good enough.

He already gets fed. I'm gonna bake some stuff but that's not enough. Not even close.

He gets multiple blowjobs every day as it is.

The things people suggest I do are things I already do every day. I don't know how to do something even more special. And what especially sucks is that he does not like me spending money on him. He got grumpy over the amount I spent for Xmas.

Plus I work full back to back shifts on the 13th, 14th, 15th and 16th so I don't even know WHEN I can do anything or how I'm gonna manage any of it.

Your dude is getting spoiled rotten..... LOL

Maybe Keenly is right..... you are the perfect girlfriend

Seriously though, if the guy is like me, he will actually not want you to spend on a gift. Maybe have a discussion about what you could do together as a celebration for valentines. Special dinner out; special dinner in; trip out of town;etc;.....

February 7, 2014

I would be pretty turned off if a potential date told me they were planning to sit in alone and eat chocolate feeling sad just because of some mass commercialised 'holiday' designed to pressurise people into spending money on crap they don't need.

Last year I was single, so another single best friend of mine went to our single guy mate's house and cooked and ate a meal together, it was lovely. I love those guys, I don't need romantic love to make me feel good about myself!

This year I have a very new relationship but I'll be in the capital city watching an incredible gig at a stadium with some guy friends while my new boyfriend is in our home town (I booked it before I met him, or I'd have invited him along). It's gonna be awesome.

February 7, 2014

Well, I'm not. I usually don't have a Valentine.

February 7, 2014

It's sad to be unpartnered any day of the year. The drama around VD only makes it worse and for some can be traumatic. It doesn't particularly matter whether you are young or old, male or female, gay or straight. Perhaps this year is especially difficult because it falls on a Friday, typically a date night.

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Should any female 25 or older be making a big deal about not having a Valentine?

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