Author mixwell Posted January 20, 2005 Author Posted January 20, 2005 I think the next time she calls me I am just going to act like I have gotten a little more "serious" with one of the girls and say we went to the movies etc.. blah blah.. put some more thoughts in her head and at least then when I dont call she will be wondering if i have moved on or if i am hanging out with some other girl. This is all just a game and I have my gear on and I am ready to play.. Do i have enough gear on ?? I dont know we will find out. But I am not going to play until she calls me... strangelove i have nothing but love for you for listen to all my shiz on all these posts and still offering me advice !!! i am listening to you bro !! haha anyways when she calls me again or whatever I will update you all.. Peace !
Universe Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 I think the next time she calls me I am just going to act like I have gotten a little more "serious" with one of the girls and say we went to the movies etc.. blah blah.. put some more thoughts in her head and at least then when I dont call she will be wondering if i have moved on or if i am hanging out with some other girl. This is all just a game and I have my gear on and I am ready to play.. Mixwell, do you want this girl back or not? If so, do you really love her? It doesn't sound like it. If you did, you wouldn't try to play games with her and you wouldn't try to hurt her by pretending to be in to other girls. If she wants to play games, then that says something about her. But you don't know that she is at this point. All you know is that she's been flirting with some guy since you broke up. So what? You've both been locked up with only each other for 7 years! I mean - you'd barely gotten your pubies when you started with this girl. Give her a little breathing room. Give yourself some breathing room. If you really love each other, flirting is harmless. The worst thing it can do is bring pre-existing problems to the surface (and that can be a very good thing). I don't think you really have enough evidence to know that she really cares about this other guy. And the evidence you do have, you obtained by breaching her trust. How would you like it if she read your emails?Careful bro she could just be stringin you along makin sure she has a backup plan. Girls are vindictive like that and you got to be careful don't play with fire cuz in the end you'll end up getting burnt.Girls are not vindictive, people are. I've seen enough to know that girls are no more vindictive than guys. In fact, most dumpers are not vindictive. Breaking up is very confusing for all parties involved. People say and do things that they don't necessarily mean. So yeah, cover your a$$. Be strong and don't let anyone take advantage of you. But don't be defensive. If you have to go on the defensive, you've already lost and you need to stop and regroup.Take it slow and at the same time make sure to live your own life. Folow your heart but at the same time don't let your mind (and her) play trick on you. This is right on. Don't do no contact unless you want it to be over and you want to get over her. That being said, Don't pester her. It seems you've done alright so far. I would recommend not talking about the relationship with her. However, it sounds like you are both confused as to where things stand. I mean - she seems pretty convinced that you're seeing these other girls. Yes, it's possible that she's just trying to guilt you into staying single so she can have you whenever she wants you. But more likely, she feels hurt by the prospect of you moving on and is afraid of losing you.\ Stay cool. Give it a week or two and then casually ask her to hang out with you. Make it something non-threatening and well-planned. Don't do a movie or dinner. Make it a lunch or coffee or make it some activity like some type of exercising. Going to concerts has been good for me and my ex because it's very casual, you can talk if you want to but you don't have to, it's fun, and it gives you something to talk about afterwards that has nothing to do with the relationship. I've also found it's best to not bring up dating other people. Assume that she is and let her assume that you are. If she asks, be honest. If you aren't seeing anyone, then just say, "No, not right now." Dating other people is a symptom of the deepr problems that drove you apart in the first place. If you want to get back together, you need to work on the root of the problem, not the symptom. The longer it takes for you to work out whatever the problem was, the more likely that one of you will move on.
Author mixwell Posted January 21, 2005 Author Posted January 21, 2005 so I did call her today at work to say whats up.. We joked around a little bit and had a nice convo. I just asked her what she was doing today and she said she had to go to the doctor. SHE brought up my chick friend Diana again in the convo.. She said why do you hang out with her when you used to talk shiz about her before and make fun of her.. (this chick used to go to the gym and really was annoying in a group but hanging out 1 on 1 she isnt like that) So I said this to her and she still thinks I am doing something with this chick I guess. I said no its not like that. Anyways I asked her what she was doing this saturday and she said she didn't have plans. So I asked if she wanted to do something she asked like what and I said something fun. I couldn't think of anything right away but I still wanted to just see if she was free to hang out for a little bit. She said i dont know and I said ok well just let me know. She says she feels kinda weird when we hang out though.. I am guessing its because she still has feelings for me and maybe its hard for her to be around me ?? So I just said I dont want you to be uncomfortable around me and I just said think of me as any other friend. She said something to the effect about its weird how I hang out with this girl Diana.. So I don't know. I think you are right though universe I shouldn't be trying to act like I am seeing someone when I am not. Trying to make her jealous isn't the way to get her back and I was a little drunk when I wrote that.. haha.. She also asked me again why it took me soo long to call her. I said because of the missed call I got. She was like oh you still just didn't think to give me a call ? I said I had been a little busy and all and that when I had called her before she was always busy and could never talk. I just said I didn't want to bother you or anything. Also universe I dont think she is just flirting with this guy, I thnk that they are together. She had mentioned she got her windows tinted and so I said how did you afford to pay for it ? (she has $ problems) She said oh don't worry about that.. But yesterday she said something like that also that she gets money from someone. I said who your mom? she said sometimes but someone else though. I am assuming from her b/f... She could just be playing games though about it.. So it was still a good chat and all that but after telling her to call me and let me know if she wants to hang out this saturday I am just going to wait for her to call. I do not want to get back in the routine of calling her like everyday or whatever. So we will see what happens. Sometimes I really almost want to just ask if she feels like she is really happy without us being together... I will never ask that though but I just wondering sometimes if she is happy without us being together.. I wish I could confess all my true feelings to her and let her know that she is the best thing in my life and tell her how much I care about her and want a future with her but I cant. I think she has an idea though.. So until the next call thats all for now ! -peace
Author mixwell Posted January 22, 2005 Author Posted January 22, 2005 my ex text messaged me today sending pictures.. then she sent a msg that said sux.. i called her because I couldnt download the pictures and she said that she had gotten in a car accident and her car was totaled ! She is okay though she has some bruises and what not and she went to the doctor and they gave her some pain killers. So I went by to see her to see how she was doing and she is obviously pist off and hurt. It wasn't her fault. Her car is soo f***ed up.. Anyways we talked about it and what not and we went to get food. She was gettin sleepy so I said I am going to let you go and she said no she wanted me to stay. So I stayed a little longer.. I am soo glad that she is okay. i honestly don't know what I would do if i were to lose her forever. So anyways I think doing NC right now might not be a good idea.. What do you all think ? I told her if she needs ANYTHING to call me and that I am here for her. On top of all this and us not being together it sucks because I know I can't be there for her the way I want to. But I let her know that I am.. So what do you think I should do ?? Forget about US for now or what? Any help is appreciated !!! Thanks !!
strange love Posted January 22, 2005 Posted January 22, 2005 Well As much as you have not always followed my advice. If fact I think you dont really need anyones advice. You seem to just get in thier like a dirty shirt and the seems to work. Also perhaps given your age, NC and other such psychlogical tricks may be too sophisticated for your ex. NC at this point is a pretty dumb idea, theres a book called mars venus its about communicatting with women, which are mostly looking for empathy. Which gave to your ex today brillant good show. Heres something else to ponder if she really had a BOYFRIEND dont you think he would have been there not you...?? wink wink ;-) toodles
Author mixwell Posted January 23, 2005 Author Posted January 23, 2005 I just don't want to act like a pus5y because of this thats all.. But I do want to be there for her.. But like my parents said why should you be there for her when she was too busy ? they said where is her boyfriend at ?? Oh yeah thats right strangelove i forgot he doesnt have a car either... just like being 15 again ey ?? anyways I am just going to continue acting with NC or whatever because I am not going to let her walk all over me, but being the caring person I am sometimes I can get taken advantage of and thats not what I want. Im not her boyfriend so I shouldn't be there for her like one is basically what you're saying strangelove ? Correct me if I am wrong.. Peace.
strange love Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 I dont think u are a pussy I never have You seem to be quite focused. i dont think she is walking all over you. She need you and you came.. now you can show her that you can be counted on.. and her security level rises.. I would check in with her and a get well card would be a really sweet gesture.. a little toy or flowers stuffed toy find out what she likes you could say this little stuff guy is to keep you company and protect you when im not around..I bet she will melt if you say that.. strange love
Author mixwell Posted January 23, 2005 Author Posted January 23, 2005 I see. Wow I thought Id hear NC from you.. Yeah man I think I should be nice to her. Good idea with the card and what not...I asked her today if she wanted to get some coffee and she said yeah maybe.. Well her mom had to pick her up from her friends house so she could get some clothes and shower.. She lagged though and I was like are you ready or what ? she was like no i need to shower and all that still.. I was supposed to go to this party thing and I told her so she got kinda pist. I just said do you want to go or what? she was like well I wanted too but your're rushing me so whatever go with your friends. I was like its not like that I just wanted to see if you wanted to go.. Then I called her back sometime later to see if she was ready and she sounded pist off kinda and was like nevermind just go with your friends I dont want to go. I said no ill wait for you and she was like no. So I don't know what thats about.... I think she was mad because it took her mom a long time and she felt like i was getting impatient with her or something. Because she was just really bitchy when i called the last time she was ko0 and then when I called her like 30 mins ago was when she was all pissy.. Something happened from then will i last called her.. So I just text messaged her and said I was sorry I dont know why you're mad or whatever. I said you shouldn't be a dick to me.. Sorry for trying to be nice.. So o well.. who knows.. PEace
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