Opposite or alike? Which one works best when in a relationship?

[crisp]

I'm a bit down because right now I seem to be unable to connect with my bf. I love him to death, he makes me smile, he cheers me up, he's practically the "baby" in this relationship. HE also knows how to motivate me, gives me strenghts and is independant enough to let me do my own thing. I love that about him, preserving that.

 

Anyway, we're different. We like different things. Different movies, different activities, different friends. I'm a bit more scholar, I am a bit more into art and exibitions, he's more into movies and concerts. I always am surprised after talking to him.. Yet at times... it's really hard to work things out.

 

So I wonder which one usually works out best: do the oposites attract or do the persons that are more alike make it on the long run?

 

 

I know I'm generalising, but I'd really appreciate your pov on this, since lately I got very tired. I am far from giving up, I guess I'm just dissapointed, since it is indeed harder than I thought.

[jellybean]

Opposite or alike?

 

Alike.

Originally posted by crisp

Anyway, we're different. We like different things. Different movies, different activities, different friends. I'm a bit more scholar, I am a bit more into art and exibitions, he's more into movies and concerts. I always am surprised after talking to him.. Yet at times... it's really hard to work things out.

 

It's even harder if you don't share the same values and goals in life.

 

My ex was opposite to me (and much, much younger), but I learned sooooo much from him - viewed the world from a whole different angle, tryed to 'celebrate the differences', but sometimes love just isn't enough...we were never on the same playing field.

[crisp]

So you think being the same helps? My ex was just like me, wanting a big career and everything and once he was about to get there, forgot how to be a true man, true to his values, to himself. I have a stomachacke now when I see men in suits (no offence to those regularly wearing one), because of him.

 

Thought the "oposite" stuff might be easier...

[Matilda]

I would definitely say alike too. I was married to an opposite, and it was bad. It is hard to sustain a day to day relationship with someone you are very different from. My current husband and I have been married 10 years. We are very much alike, and it makes things so much easier. I would advise all who are looking for a partner to look for someone who is like them.

[ziggue]

Originally posted by jellybean

Opposite or alike?

It's even harder if you don't share the same values and goals in life.

 

I think being on the same wave length/playing field as the person is important. Heading the same direction in life as eachother, understanding eachother.

 

If you were with someone that was the complete opposite to you wouldnt you have more things too talk about and experience new, different things though?

 

I think being on the same wave length as someone works, no matter if you are opposite, alike or even inbetween.

[Just Visiting]

From my experiences.....I found that it best to be with some who is like you. Especially when it comes to values and life goals. I have been with opposites and it was pretty stressful trying to make things fit.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by crisp

So I wonder which one usually works out best: do the oposites attract or do the persons that are more alike make it on the long run?

.

 

a little bit of both, CRISP.

 

too similar =

too diff =

in between=

[hugznkisses21]

i agree a bit of both....

 

not a like for hobbies and interest sometimes u can open someones eyes to new things and that part of the fun BUT Alike for morals and values and things u want to get outta life and your relationship

[crisp]

Sorry, I know it has noting to do with the subject: alphamale, I hope you're not it tha mood for a crispy treat !!!

 

Guys... I'm afraid that deep down inside, I'm boring. I don't like being bored. Most of the time I don't even like myself. It's fun to be with someone unboring ) ! but hard too !

 

Sometimes I feel like he absorbs me. I can't do anything when he's around - sometimes he stays over the week end. But then I get that feeling like I choke for air... it's not all chemistry, he's got a difficult personality also. And when I'm tired and not in the mood for making compromises or being patient... it's bad! And I realise that the more time passes by, the less inclined to try harder and harder.

 

Am I wrong to fear that time will eventually get the best of every relationship?

[whichwayisup]

Guys... I'm afraid that deep down inside, I'm boring. I don't like being bored. Most of the time I don't even like myself. It's fun to be with someone unboring ) ! but hard too !

 

Sometimes I feel like he absorbs me. I can't do anything when he's around - sometimes he stays over the week end. But then I get that feeling like I choke for air... it's not all chemistry, he's got a difficult personality also. And when I'm tired and not in the mood for making compromises or being patient... it's bad! And I realise that the more time passes by, the less inclined to try harder and harder.

 

Am I wrong to fear that time will eventually get the best of every relationship?

 

So he saps you of your energy? Like he is a draining person?

 

Yeah you're wrong...But don't worry...ALL relationships go UP and DOWN (yeah yeah, I know) and have boring cycles, annoying cycles, normal, good, bad, sexual, non sexual...Etc...It all should balance out though and that is what makes it last. Well, that and love,trust and all that jazz ofcourse.

 

too similar =

too diff =

in between=

 

Yeah that is good Alpha...Kinda like the 3 bears....