Gemini x Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I know NC is not contacting the person, obviously, but what else does NC apply to? I was on 25 days of NC as in actually speaking one on one. Within those 25 days we were still facebook friends and he'd post stupid things to try and provoke me, but it never worked. He broke contact 2 days ago by text so now I'm at 2 days NC. I've been finding ways to check his facebook these past 2 days (everything is hidden so I can't see anything except his picture and pictures of me he still has up)... even though I blocked him on almost everything else and realize I need to block him there, also. What all do I need to do to maintain full blown NC?
David87 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 NC also means no social media, no sneaking, not being friends on FB, nothing..
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Do everything in your power to get him out of your life. "Out of sight, out of mind." Skype, any social media, any other messenger program, change your number, etc. What your ultimate goal is to prevent yourself from accidentally stumbling on something that you shouldn't see. If you're on Facebook and he's still a friend, you're gonna find some **** you don't wanna see. Get rid of him, or maybe even get rid of Facebook. Change your number. When you don't accidentally stumble on something that relates to his life, you'll be less tempted. Of course, make sure that you're never going to try contacting him under any circumstances unless someone's life is in jeopardy.
pickflicker Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 To quote wisdom that reappears on here now and then... you know if you're doing NC correctly if your ex was to die, and you wouldn't know about it (excluding, of course, some massive news story that the entire world could see). Think about friends you have lost contact with. You don't see, hear, or know a thing about them. If they were dead, you wouldn't know. That is correctly maintained NC. 2
somedude81 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 To quote wisdom that reappears on here now and then... you know if you're doing NC correctly if your ex was to die, and you wouldn't know about it (excluding, of course, some massive news story that the entire world could see). Think about friends you have lost contact with. You don't see, hear, or know a thing about them. If they were dead, you wouldn't know. That is correctly maintained NC. Any way to make yourself believe that your ex is dead?
organizedchaos Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Any way to make yourself believe that your ex is dead? Go no contact
somedude81 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Go no contact I haven't tried to contact her in two weeks. I haven't heard anything from her in three weeks. Though I want to believe that she is dead so I'll never check my phone again thinking a text might be her.
pickflicker Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Any way to make yourself believe that your ex is dead? No, that's harder. But NC will work its magic. You must be patient. 1
organizedchaos Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I haven't tried to contact her in two weeks. I haven't heard anything from her in three weeks. Though I want to believe that she is dead so I'll never check my phone again thinking a text might be her. It could take months of nc to fully get there. 1
radiodarcy Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 To quote wisdom that reappears on here now and then... you know if you're doing NC correctly if your ex was to die, and you wouldn't know about it (excluding, of course, some massive news story that the entire world could see). Think about friends you have lost contact with. You don't see, hear, or know a thing about them. If they were dead, you wouldn't know. That is correctly maintained NC. full blown NC means no looking at an ex's Facebook or any other social media they may have; be it Instagram, Twitter, etc. This is because even thought you may not be directly contacting your ex, by continuing to look at their social media accounts you are still emotionally engaging yourself with their day to day lives. In other words, as Pickflicker notes above, by continuing to look at your ex's fb, you are keeping his memory alive and that's only going to hold you back. Not help you to move forward.
SadNLonley Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Crap. I looked at my ex FB yesterday. Yep, Im miserable today. Not that i saw something that hurt, just that i miss him so damn much. I try to tell myself it will work out and I'll get better, but nope not happening.
pickflicker Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Crap. I looked at my ex FB yesterday. Yep, Im miserable today. Not that i saw something that hurt, just that i miss him so damn much. I try to tell myself it will work out and I'll get better, but nope not happening. Because you broke NC. People, listen up. NC will not work if you keep breaking it. Each time you to, you are resetting back to to day 1. Then you complain that "it's not feeling better". You have to stick at it. The majority of people feel loads better after 3 months of complete NC. Breaking it by looking at FB, or contacting them, you're just prolonging the inevitable. Go NC immediately and deal with the pain, because it will be short lived. We all think we won't survive a break up, but we do...
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