neongem Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I wrote a long, heartfelt email explaining why this just wasn't right or fair and he needs to leave her if he wants me, and all I got back was "I love you and understand your position completely, I wish you all the best". And our whole relationship has been predicated on the fact that his leaving was underway and in progress. It wasn't meant to be an empty threat, I meant it, but a little more fight would have been at least validating. This is a really terrible feeling. 1
wasntlooking Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Im sorry youre feeling this way. You actually got more back in your email from him than i did. I poured myself out to him in the break up email i sent to my XMm. I knew it was wrong so i had to break it off before someone other than us got hurt. I did not want to bfeak up but knew i had to do it. So i wrote to him and i wanted him to feel ok with himself so i was very nice and gave him compliments so he wouldnt tofally be crushed. Neither one of us was mad at each other so it was rather a calm email. So all i got back was "its ok". And that was four months ago. No contact since, which is what i wanted but for him not to say anything back really crushes me. People dont understand that is the hardest part of what i am trying to get over. I know men arent always good at emotions and women tend to spill ours all over but really? Thats it? I totally get where youre coming from. I swear id be in such a better place right now if i an just ask him why so short with me? Is he mad at me? Sad? Did he care? I mean the least you csn do after what we shared is to be a littld bit more compassionate but we are the OW so i guess we put ourselves here.......i totally understand you
Lady2163 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I wrote a long, heartfelt email explaining why this just wasn't right or fair and he needs to leave her if he wants me, and all I got back was "I love you and understand your position completely, I wish you all the best". And our whole relationship has been predicated on the fact that his leaving was underway and in progress. It wasn't meant to be an empty threat, I meant it, but a little more fight would have been at least validating. This is a really terrible feeling. Okay, on the stereotypical, but good natured side, I have yet to meet a man that sends long emails for very long in a relationship. I've noticed as the relationship goes on longer, the emails get shorter and the spelling mistakes more prevalent. You are giving him an ultimatum, however couched in heartfelt emotions it may be. I don't blame you for doing it, and if I were in a relationship like that, the hardest thing to do would be to walk away if the first "deadline" wasn't met. I know it can hurt like hell to go through this. Hang in there, time does heal.
MissTakes Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 It wasn't meant to be an empty threat, I meant it, but a little more fight would have been at least validating. This is a really terrible feeling. I literally was just thinking the exact same thing. I was trying to re-establish boundaries with my MM today, and when I told him he needed to take his life and his relationships seriously, he only said, "I do, though you don't believe me." I replied that he needed to keep it together, and either not talk to me at all or be on his best behavior when contacting me for work reasons, and I would do the same. His response? "Oh, okay. I won't flirt then, not a problem. I was really only doing it in the first place because I knew nothing would happen." Well if that ain't a dagger you're pullin' out, I don't know what to call it.
RickFox Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Actions ladies.....Actions.....they do speak so much louder than words.
Author neongem Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Actions ladies.....Actions.....they do speak so much louder than words. I'm totally aware that this is true, it still doesn't make walking away from someone any easier. Especially when they are filled with confessions of their love for you. It's just crappy. And hard.
RickFox Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I.can run my suck hole all day long telling you how much I love you, but what am I DOING to show you? His non caring response should make it a bit easier to shut the door as you walk off
Author neongem Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 I.can run my suck hole all day long telling you how much I love you, but what am I DOING to show you? His non caring response should make it a bit easier to shut the door as you walk off It does make it easier than leaving something perfect, but it still sucks, and still deserves some understanding of the struggle. Love it tough; being the one to walk away when you know you should is more difficult when you're still being chased as you're walking. That wasn't the last email I received tonight from him. The follow up email told me never to settle because I was worth it and that he hopes when he comes to find me (post separation) that he won't be breaking too many men's hearts. It's straight up manipulation, and while I recognize it's existence, it still feels genuine, nonetheless.
wasntlooking Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Actions ladies.....Actions.....they do speak so much louder than words. Understood but i still care for him deeply and am staying away also so what makes you think he doesnt feel the same? Thats the hard part. I knlw i shouldnt care but its tough with no closure
proseandpassion Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 He may have cared for her, but he never intended to leave. That was all a ruse. I'm sorry you're hurting, OP
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