TheBathWater Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I broke up with my girlfriend on Sunday and posted this shortly after: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/458803-i-broke-up-her-i-wrong Suddenly, I can't help but feel a sense of regret. It hit me out of nowhere - I really, really may never see or hear from her again, and it's my fault for initiating the breakup. Everything reminds me of her - songs we listened to together, books we talked about, gifts she gave me that I use daily, etc... I still maintain that our personalities were very different when it came to conflict, among other things. We did argue a lot over the last month or so, and at only 3 months in to the relationship, I thought that this combined with some bedroom concerns spelled out our fate. But she is a beautiful soul, and I miss her terribly. The good times were really good, and I thought I had a good companion. She was very deep and sensitive, and she trusted me with a lot of information about herself she normally does not share. Maybe she was not perfect in how she handled conflict with me, but her intentions were far kinder and mature than most women I've dated in the last five years. Maybe if only I'd held on, somehow, things could have been sorted out eventually. I can't tell if I made the right choice or not. Logically, I think I may have, but emotionally I feel I may not have. Is this normal? How do you know whether you made the right choice or not? I feel like such an ass right now.
siochana Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Time. But you may have made the wrong choice. People say it all "happens for a reason" but that's like saying God willed it. Bollox. I am still wracked with guilt about not doing more in the relationship to stop her from leaving. Yeah, I got dumped. But its not so easy to say "It wasn't my fault"
Mr Scorpio Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Is this normal? How do you know whether you made the right choice or not? I feel like such an ass right now. It is completely normal. People vacillate over all-sorts of decisions: "what school should I go to?", "should car should I buy?", and yes, "should I stay in a relationship with so-and-so?" Now, I can't speak to the experience you've had over the past-five years. Still, to me, the idea that you were arguing at all -- much less a lot -- at only three-months into the relationship is a huge red-flag. At three-months? She is supposed to be playfully shoving an ice-cream cone into your face as you go to lick it while you spin her around in a field of lilies with chick-flick music playing in the background. You say that her intentions were good. I won't doubt that. But good intentions don't make up for bad actions. Who knows how that behavior would manifest itself overtime? Sure, her intentions may have been better than most of the people you've dated over the last five-years. But is that a compliment to her, or an indictment of the people you've been dating?
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