SG19765 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Ok guys. I have been posting all kinds of things on here lately trying to justify how I am feeling. I am dating this girl who I am really into. I have never felt like I have been feeling at the start of a relationship before. First off my anxiety is through the roof, no appetite, weird sleep paterns, constantly thinking about here (pros and cons), can't focus, you name it. I have always had trouble with really getting attached and I think this is a double whammy because I am pretty sure my main problem is I a lovesick. I keep trying to justify why I shouldn't be with her but there really aren't any reasons. WTF is up here. Anyone else ever experience this? Do you think my lack of commitment in the passed and these new feelings are to blame? How long does this crap last if it is lovesickness?
spiderowl Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Being really attracted to someone and excited about a relationship is a great feeling, but somewhere deep down we also sense that this great feeling could be blown apart if the other person doesn't feel the same or changes their mind. It's anxiety. Sounds like you are pulled in two different directions at once - stay and enjoy and possibly get very hurt or run and miss out on a magical experience. No wonder you are feeling queasy. As to what to do about it, I don't know. Anxiety is pretty awful. Learning to relax and distance yourself from feelings (mindfulness meditation) might help, but as anxiety sends stress chemicals racing through the body, it does take a while for it to subside. It might just subside by itself. Physical exercise might help, like going swimming, something demanding and distracting. Going somewhere relaxing where nature helps to calm you, like sitting by a river and watching the water flow by, or watching trees wave in the wind, can help to pace you. Talking to a close friend might help you to see exactly what's troubling you. If you are in college, you could see a counsellor there. Another approach would be to try to locate the feelings in your body and describe them to yourself. If you go into the feeling where is it, does it move, how does it feel, does it change? There is a therapy called focusing than can help with this kind of indeterminate anxiety. See books by Eugene Gendler. Other than that, you might just have to cope and wait and see how it all turns out.
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