MrCastle Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 These trips you take these girls on -- who pays for the tickets, hotels, etc? 1
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Games are played by two people sully. It's like conflict: you can't have an argument by yourself. You keep participating by being present, by going along. It's enabling. Perhaps she did stop but I'd bet 5,000 of my posts here that she will pull something out soon enough. Of course she didn't mean harm in a way. She doesn't know any better. This is why she will do it again. She doesn't have the knowledge and confidence to be herself. She is only 19. She is a kid. She doesn't have a clue, she thinks games make her look hard to get and gain respect, she has absolutely no idea how getting respect works. I don't deal with people that wait 24 or 48 hours to respond, regardless of age. My time and peace of mind are precious to me and I have standards, expect to be treated with respect. Awesome. I agree. This was the oldest one, though that played the games! The youngest one has no flaw yet, other than her phone getting cut off. This is what i mean when i say age has little to do with emotional maturity. Some people have it, some don't. Seems born in, rather than developed to me. Any you are right! The oldest one probably will continue with games. It is helping narrow the dating pool down a bit. I'll focus on the most mature one, the one i like best. The youngest one! ha ha ha Silly, but true.
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 (edited) These trips you take these girls on -- who pays for the tickets, hotels, etc? I'm late 30's. They barely have jobs that pay anything. I'm also the man. If i invite someone on a trip with me, I pay for it. None of them could afford to pay for stuff like that, though they do offer to kick in.... i refused. Edited February 6, 2014 by theothersully
MrCastle Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I'm late 30's. They barely have jobs that pay anything. I'm also the man. If i invite someone on a trip with me, I pay for it. None of them could afford to pay for stuff like that. I guess it all evens out if you're both getting what you want in the end. 3
Emilia Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Awesome. I agree. This was the oldest one, though that played the games! The youngest one has no flaw yet, other than her phone getting cut off. This is what i mean when i say age has little to do with emotional maturity. Some people have it, some don't. Seems born in, rather than developed to me. Any you are right! The oldest one probably will continue with games. It is helping narrow the dating pool down a bit. I'll focus on the most mature one, the one i like best. The youngest one! ha ha ha Silly, but true. She switched her phone off sully! It wasn't cut off. When it's cut off you don't get voicemail service. Look, I don't know what her reasons were exactly or whatever, clearly you wish to see this to the bitter end but you are being blind. The answer to your trust issues is not dating 19 year-olds.
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 She switched her phone off sully! It wasn't cut off. When it's cut off you don't get voicemail service. Look, I don't know what her reasons were exactly or whatever, clearly you wish to see this to the bitter end but you are being blind. The answer to your trust issues is not dating 19 year-olds. ugh.... no she didn't. I'm sure you have a cell phone. Women, no matter the age, are GLUED to their phones. They are a little more social. However, not even a guy would turn his phone off for 4 days straight. When you call a phone, from different numbers, some of which are unknown to the person you are calling, and it goes directly to voicemail, there can only be one of two conditions. 1) The phone is broken, damaged, off or dead battery. 2) Your carrier turned off the phone because you didn't pay. It is number 2. She emailed me to say sorry about that and it will be back on in a day or 2. People who are avoiding people block a number, they don't turn off their phones. And certainly, they don't go out of their way to send an apologetic email about the phone. Although, i did forget to add the minutiae stating that it actually said, "this person has a voicemail box that hasn't been set up yet.... goodbye"
Emilia Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 2) Your carrier turned off the phone because you didn't pay. It is number 2. She emailed me to say sorry about that and it will be back on in a day or 2. People who are avoiding people block a number, they don't turn off their phones. Although, i did forget to add the minutiae stating that it actually said, "this person has a voicemail box that hasn't been set up yet.... goodbye" You don't get voicemail when you are cut off sully, you said your calls went to voicemail. If someone doesn't pay their bill it means they don't get voicemail service. It's suspended. Dead. No voicemail. Maybe she has another phone or uses google voice or whatever? The possiblities are endless. She switched her phone off. Wake up. 1
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 I guess it all evens out if you're both getting what you want in the end. Exactly. And how do you tell someone to kick in more than they make in a month on a date? Kind of unrealistic. I'm sure these girls see me as a fun, exotic adventure. I see them the same way. We are making each other happy, which is pretty much what it's all about, isn't it?
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 You don't get voicemail when you are cut off sully, you said your calls went to voicemail. If someone doesn't pay their bill it means they don't get voicemail service. It's suspended. Dead. No voicemail. Maybe she has another phone or uses google voice or whatever? The possiblities are endless. She switched her phone off. Wake up. Well, i just looked it up. That is what happens with some carriers when you are a day or two late on prepaid, before the account goes into actually suspension. So yeah, this girl is now plotting against me with 2 phones and no job? Come on.... Explain her email then.
Emilia Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Well, i just looked it up. That is what happens with some carriers when you are a day or two late on prepaid, before the account goes into actually suspension. So yeah, this girl is now plotting against me with 2 phones and no job? Come on.... No plotting. Technology is all around you, it's easy to avoid people. Perhaps it was what you are saying. I guess you will find out soon enough.
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 No plotting. Technology is all around you, it's easy to avoid people. Perhaps it was what you are saying. I guess you will find out soon enough. Exactly. I prefer to give someone the benefit of the doubt before guessing. In about a week, I'll know.
Emilia Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Exactly. I prefer to give someone the benefit of the doubt before guessing. In about a week, I'll know. To be honest, not being able to get hold of the person for days and the calls going to voicemail wouldn't be 'guessing' for me. Unless they were in the army. That's pretty much the only excuse I can think of. Anyway, good luck.
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 To be honest, not being able to get hold of the person for days and the calls going to voicemail wouldn't be 'guessing' for me. Unless they were in the army. That's pretty much the only excuse I can think of. Anyway, good luck. Then why is she emailing me??
Emilia Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Then why is she emailing me?? Have you got definite arrangements for Miami for the both of you?
RedRobin Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I'm sure these girls see me as a fun, exotic adventure. I see them the same way. We are making each other happy, which is pretty much what it's all about, isn't it? meh... my idea of a fun, exotic adventure is... chartering my own sailboat to the Caribbean... backpacking for a week on the Olympic Peninsula (ok, not so exotic, lol) jumping out of an airplane... ..or doing what one of my friends did... traveling the Silk Road from start to finish... (I've got a long list...) Effing someone half my age? Not so much. First of all... too easy. Second of all... If you are compelled to come here to decipher their texts, that's already screaming 'not fun' to me. Maybe you can find some other more fun adventures?? 3
Emilia Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Have you got definite arrangements for Miami for the both of you? Also, is her phone back up yet? Only because you emailed her first about not being able to get in touch, rather than her contacting you to reassure you/make sure the trip is arranged.
carhill Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Me: Cool about your new job, i am here now. Her: Cool, there is a party for us at xxxxxx tonight lol Me: I love that place. Excited to be here again. Her: I'm sure excited to hang out with you again!!!! Me: Thank you. , etc,.. Her: Party at xxxxxx was great. Going to yyyyy tonight. Then.... nothing much else. Kinda dead for a day or so. Question. Was this girl trying to get me to go to her work parties and see her? She was very specific about where she was going for some reason. Was she offended i didn't go? I figured they were work parties and nobody wants a date along. Thoughts? She mentioned 'us' and you apparently chose to exclude yourself from that 'us'. She continued on with her life, as per normal, apparently with a break in the action with you for whatever reasons. Girl #2: Contacts me out of the blue after some nice time spent together in the spring. Long distance. 19 yrs old. says all of this inside various conversations.,., this is all her..... how was your day? You have deff got my attention (she contacted me) you should see my abs, deff got them on lock (sends pics) sounds like you got it together, i fn love ambition this should be fun (about seeing me) i feel special ( regarding me saying it has only been a few months and i didn't forget her) good morning lots of annoying texts about flights and stuff how about next weekend because i really want to see you? busts 2 tires on her dads truck, upset about it, i try to cheer her up told her about miami change of venue, says, "ha ha excellent I'm excited!!!!" #2 is typical of my friend's children, having seen similar texts back and forth between parent and child, and she's just 'bla, bla' and whatever comes up next, comes up. Saw downthread that she may have had a phone issue, again not uncommon for kids these days, perhaps less so if they make one that never runs out of minutes, can survive at the bottom of a swimming pool and being thrown from a moving vehicle Personally, I wouldn't ascribe any 'meaning' to such interactions and continue with business and whatever works out on the social level, works out. I still maintain you'd be better served by pressing flesh in public in person with the plethora of perfectly enjoyable women who attend the social gatherings in the 'party' areas of Miami, like I mentioned elsewhere. Do what you do. If things with these young ladies work out, they do. If not, not. Life is like that. 1
TheBlingRing14 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 (edited) My problem is people like you that equate a person's attractiveness to their worth. A lady with a hot bod is worth getting to know. A lady who isn't "hot" isn't worth it. If people aren't attracted to me initially, I totally understand. But, if they won't even give me the time of day or get to know me because of looks...then that's just sad. And the whole, "If you don't like how you look, change it." thing drives me nuts. You make it sound like it's so easy. Like someone can lose weight or gain weight or get bigger boobs or better skin as easily as going to the dry cleaners. Yes, people can change the way they look, either naturally or surgically. But, why don't YOU change the way you think? I say that in cheek, I would never expect someone to do that, but you get my point. But...ugly ain't exterior. Ugly is inside. Ugly is deep down. And, while people CAN change how they look outside, if they so choose...it's a lot harder to change ugly. Edited February 6, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 (edited) That is hilarious!!!! What do you think I do for a living? Charter catamarans! lolol These are exactly the kinds of things I do all the time. Your list is my daily life in a lot of ways. I felt like having others take a look at the texts in case i missed something, which i did. I didn't pick up on the hints to go to the work parties with #1. The adventure is bringing energetic, fun, awesome people in who appreciate these things. meh... my idea of a fun, exotic adventure is... chartering my own sailboat to the Caribbean... backpacking for a week on the Olympic Peninsula (ok, not so exotic, lol) jumping out of an airplane... ..or doing what one of my friends did... traveling the Silk Road from start to finish... (I've got a long list...) Effing someone half my age? Not so much. First of all... too easy. Second of all... If you are compelled to come here to decipher their texts, that's already screaming 'not fun' to me. Maybe you can find some other more fun adventures?? Edited February 6, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 (edited) She mentioned 'us' and you apparently chose to exclude yourself from that 'us'. She continued on with her life, as per normal, apparently with a break in the action with you for whatever reasons. #2 is typical of my friend's children, having seen similar texts back and forth between parent and child, and she's just 'bla, bla' and whatever comes up next, comes up. Saw downthread that she may have had a phone issue, again not uncommon for kids these days, perhaps less so if they make one that never runs out of minutes, can survive at the bottom of a swimming pool and being thrown from a moving vehicle Personally, I wouldn't ascribe any 'meaning' to such interactions and continue with business and whatever works out on the social level, works out. I still maintain you'd be better served by pressing flesh in public in person with the plethora of perfectly enjoyable women who attend the social gatherings in the 'party' areas of Miami, like I mentioned elsewhere. Do what you do. If things with these young ladies work out, they do. If not, not. Life is like that. You're an insightful guy. Thanks for the response. Taken in and contemplated. Yes, since this is just dating, no meaning. I think this is where these people with horrible , bitter, misguided personalities come to attack from. They think this is seeking "the one" or marriage. I can wait a week for any of them because I don't have the time . I agree. As soon as I'm done setting up some work stuff here, I will be out and about on SoBe . Edited February 6, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Ruby Slippers Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I don't know much about theothersully's history, but I don't really understand the venom coming at him here. From what I've gathered, he's recently divorced, cynical about love, and interested in having fun with women who just want silly fun, as he does. I don't imagine he's promising any of them the moon, or anything more than a little bit of fun for now - which sounds like exactly what they want, too. They're getting something out of this - the attention of an older man (which some young women seek out), free dates, excursions, and trips. I admit that an older man (or woman) sleeping with a teenager (19) kinda squicks me out. But I've known of 18- and 19-year-old women who hook up with older men, usually for the meaningless fun, attention, adoration, vacations, and shopping trips. (I knew of one who went on to be a stripper - that's generally the type.) I had zero interest in significantly older men when I was 19, but some women do, and that's their business. 2
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Have you got definite arrangements for Miami for the both of you? We had booked travel for nyc, then I had to change it within a couple days of her coming. But yes, she was waiting for me to get the new travel for Miami set up. I don't know how to really emphasize that we were talking every day, she would not stop dropping compliments/hints, was generally interested in my life and me as a person at levels much more in depth than normal dating. I mean i know her already. we've already spent a week together. 2 weeks total time and she pursued me. i mean, extremely attractive girls in this age bracket simply do not text guys little good mornings and cute stuff all day long if they aren't into you. Their phones are exploding with other guys all the time. There is a line around the block waiting. They waste no time on anyone they aren't interested in. Yet, she is excited to come see me. As soon as we get back in contact, we will either set up her definite travel, or I'm done. You don't go backwards with this stuff. Her and I have just been talking at a real and mature, more serious level than the others. I like her more because of this. I mean, i think she is looking for more, actually. I have hundreds of pages of texts from the past couple weeks. I just snipped out a few of the key phrases here to post them. We spent time here in miami last year. this is where i met her. Then she came to nyc for a week soon after. Then we both did other stuff, then out of the blue, she came back on a more serious note.
carhill Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 TBH, when I read the OP's threads, he's describing almost exactly the way my exW described 'going crazy' between her marriages. Experimenting, casual encounters, pushing boundaries, generally focused on self. My understanding is, based on interactions with people over the decades, this is common and unremarkable. Sure, some people follow a quiet path to personal enlightenment. They won't be seen in SoBe grinding with the sex partner of the evening on the dance floor. They're invisible. Different strokes for different folks. No rewards at the end for any path so choose it wisely and enjoy the ride. 3
Grumpybutfun Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 (edited) I think you lost an opportunity there on first text. You were being invited to a series of parties to hang out with her because the more people you know at a party, the more fun it is. Second one reminds me of my seventeen year old...I am the happy little center of this annoying world and everything I say is just fascinating. You will serve to amuse me until something flashier, brighter and more interesting comes along. She has also dropped her phone in the toilet three times, got it wet in the shower, sleeps with it and doesn't think that maybe it needs to charge sometimes, etc. so I can see where phone issues would come up for this age group. I am around your age and can think of no more adept torture than having to deal with texts like these, but to each their own. Distraction is a powerful motivator. Have fun, Grumps Edited February 6, 2014 by Grumpybutfun 4
Author theothersully Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Update. 3 emails later, her phone should be on tomorrow, but she has a cold. Ready to come to Miami and can't wait to see me again. I don't know what that rabbit means, but definitely feel as excited as he looks. This is a very nice girl who i find ridiculously attractive. Ticks off all the boxes on my checklist.
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