Like this girl but she isn't able to have a relationship

[bambam21]

I met this unbelievable girl 3 weeks ago on a Friday night. She really good friends with two of my best friends and I didn't know this prior to that night. Me and her hit it off better and better as the night went on and before I could finishin asking she was already entering her number in my phone. We went and met up a place on Monday evening and had probably the best first date with a girl I've ever had she was fully interested at the time, was interested in what I had to say and even found my dumb jokes funny. The she kiss she gave me at the end of the night made me feel like a rock star. After that night her and I started meeting up about every second day on campus for coffee etc. I knew she likes me because her friend ( my best friend ) told me she does, and I had later on told her that I like her a lot more than a friend she seemed really happy and everything was cool but then she wrote 2 exams and txtd me and said how she doesn't think she can have a thing with someone cause she doesn't know how to balance school and life and a relationship I could she felt really bad and she seemed almost sad when she told me this. I can handle rejection, Normally I would be able to let it go and forget about it but i can't get this girl out of my mind and I don't wanna throw her away, for once I actually really really like this girl and can see loads of potential in her. I haven't really had a chat with her since 3 days ago and it was extremely awkward I could tell she was trying to talk to me but seemed almost as if she didn't wanna talk or seemed nervous to talk idk. Anyways my point is that there's a reason why I haven't just forgotten about her because it's been a few days since she laid the news on me and I haven't nor do I have any interest in just forgetting her she has something about her that's special and I just don't know what to do at this point. I want her to just give me a chance I have no interest in stuffy relationships at this point and neither does she so why can't she just go out with me I don't plan on taking up all her time and everything and I don't need piles of attention to feel happy. Idk if I should explain that to her or what but it's been 3 days since I've really talked to her and I gotta talk sometime soon if want to still have some sort of shot with her I just don't know what to do or how to get this girl to give me a chance.

[ExpatInItaly]

I met this unbelievable girl 3 weeks ago on a Friday night. She really good friends with two of my best friends and I didn't know this prior to that night. Me and her hit it off better and better as the night went on and before I could finishin asking she was already entering her number in my phone. We went and met up a place on Monday evening and had probably the best first date with a girl I've ever had she was fully interested at the time, was interested in what I had to say and even found my dumb jokes funny. The she kiss she gave me at the end of the night made me feel like a rock star. After that night her and I started meeting up about every second day on campus for coffee etc. I knew she likes me because her friend ( my best friend ) told me she does, and I had later on told her that I like her a lot more than a friend she seemed really happy and everything was cool but then she wrote 2 exams and txtd me and said how she doesn't think she can have a thing with someone cause she doesn't know how to balance school and life and a relationship I could she felt really bad and she seemed almost sad when she told me this. I can handle rejection, Normally I would be able to let it go and forget about it but i can't get this girl out of my mind and I don't wanna throw her away, for once I actually really really like this girl and can see loads of potential in her. I haven't really had a chat with her since 3 days ago and it was extremely awkward I could tell she was trying to talk to me but seemed almost as if she didn't wanna talk or seemed nervous to talk idk. Anyways my point is that there's a reason why I haven't just forgotten about her because it's been a few days since she laid the news on me and I haven't nor do I have any interest in just forgetting her she has something about her that's special and I just don't know what to do at this point. I want her to just give me a chance I have no interest in stuffy relationships at this point and neither does she so why can't she just go out with me I don't plan on taking up all her time and everything and I don't need piles of attention to feel happy. Idk if I should explain that to her or what but it's been 3 days since I've really talked to her and I gotta talk sometime soon if want to still have some sort of shot with her I just don't know what to do or how to get this girl to give me a chance.

 

Good grief, do NOT tell her this. Keep a little dignity, man! She doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, at least not right now. You can't make her change her mind; it will likely only come across as desperate. Your post already sounds a little desperate and clingy, to be perfectly honest. You are feeling all these wonderful things about her and don't want to let her go, sure. But she isn't feeling the same things. If she were, she would never have told you she can't be involved with someone right now. If she wants to walk away, that's her prerogative. And that's what she's chosen to do. You need to step back now and respect her wishes.

 

Also, you only met her three weeks ago. Try to gain a little perspective here. You barely know her. I don't mean to be blunt, but take off the rose-coloured glasses for a moment. She's probably a nice woman, but I think you enjoyed the lust and attention. You don't know her well enough to have formed some deep connection just yet.

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry but I feel she's gently warning you off getting too involved with her. She could manage a relationship if she wanted to - most girls would go to a lot of trouble for the right guy and would do their best to balance things. You got on really well together but something just didn't feel as right for her as it did for you. Some women are just good at getting on well with others and are charming and funny. It doesn't mean they've fallen in love with a guy, it's just the way they are.

 

If you really like this woman, back off a bit and continue to be friendly to her when you meet but get on with the rest of your life too. If she thinks you aren't going to put pressure on her for a relationship, she may relax and spend a bit more time getting to know you before making any drastic decisions. Being a bit distant and unobtainable could work in your favour. No-one likes to feel responsible for someone falling in love with them when they were only being friendly at first. However, love can grow between friends who aren't always in each others' pockets.

Edited February 6, 2014 by spiderowl