smurfzzz Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 ok, the story goes like this. Please bear with me for the long description. About 3 weeks ago, met a guy (who is new in town) on the street asking for direction and also had a quick 5 mins chat and had facebook added, period. There after, he msg me on fb, and ask if i will be interested to do workout trial, as he is fitness intstructor and love to share his interest, since im much into sports, why not. After the workout, we went for a short drink at a convenience store. Everything goes well, good convo and strictly no flirting at all Our conversation includes dogs, and he ask if I can take the dogs out on our next training. In between the conversation, I need to use the washroom, however there is no toilets around the area, so I told him I need to get home to use the toilet, so out of politeness (and not knowing how to end), I ask do you want to come along to see the dogs or bid farewell here. (My house is 1 min away from where we are)... So, he went along with me, and also took the dogs out for walk together. Till then, there still wasn't even flirting at all, and I was quite please about it. So end of the day, he bade farewell to me with the typical european greeting (kissing on the face), there's where he started to move in for more intimate sexual kiss. A few days later, he ask me out again, did some sports in my neighbourhood and back at my place for light dinner. Again, had a good time with convo without getting physical interaction. But he took my hands when we were strolling on the streets. Unfortunately, he is a traveller, and he don't stay in a place for long, neither have plans for the future. Last week, he has to leave for work, and probably aint coming back anymore, so the night before he left, he ask he could store half of his belonging with me. That's when we met up for the 3rd time, and somehow things get intimate. Everything should have ended by now i suppose. But the very next day when he arrive in the new city, he text me and said that he enjoy the time with me, and ask if I can visit him in the new city (it's 45 mins ferry away from the city I'm in). It's not far but I'm unsure if I should go and make it seems easy. The question here is, I'm not sure if I should take him as a player, let's have the fun and move on OR should I view him as someone I should put effort to get to know better? On one hand, I don't know if he is a player because he doesn't like party/clubbing (where most players are) BUT on the other hand, he is smooth in picking me up (the asking direction stance was a pretense which I got to know on our last meeting), like a season player. His request for me to visit was because he really want to spend time with me, or just simply booty call? What is even our relationship now? FWB? or something more than FWB??
Ronni_W Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 His request for me to visit was because he really want to spend time with me, or just simply booty call? What is even our relationship now? FWB? or something more than FWB?? Tell him that you'll prefer it if he comes and visits you when he has the time. If he's NOT willing to make any efforts to spend time with you, then likely he is looking for just an FWB situation.
clia Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Unfortunately, he is a traveller, and he don't stay in a place for long, neither have plans for the future. Last week, he has to leave for work, and probably aint coming back anymore, so the night before he left, he ask he could store half of his belonging with me. That's when we met up for the 3rd time, and somehow things get intimate. Everything should have ended by now i suppose. But the very next day when he arrive in the new city, he text me and said that he enjoy the time with me, and ask if I can visit him in the new city (it's 45 mins ferry away from the city I'm in). It's not far but I'm unsure if I should go and make it seems easy. The question here is, I'm not sure if I should take him as a player, let's have the fun and move on OR should I view him as someone I should put effort to get to know better? On one hand, I don't know if he is a player because he doesn't like party/clubbing (where most players are) BUT on the other hand, he is smooth in picking me up (the asking direction stance was a pretense which I got to know on our last meeting), like a season player. His request for me to visit was because he really want to spend time with me, or just simply booty call? What is even our relationship now? FWB? or something more than FWB?? Did you let him store his stuff at your place? That is a really strange request to ask of a woman you have only been on two dates with. It's hard to tell at this point if he is interested in sex or more. Having sex before you establish the boundaries of the relationship often results in confusion like you are experiencing. Only time will tell what he wants from you. That said, a 45 minute ferry ride isn't very far away. That's a commute for a lot of people. Is he willing to come to you? His level of effort will be telling in the days going forward. If you do decide to go visit him, do not spend the night with him. Go for the day or a few hours and then go back home. That will make it not about sex.
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