herself Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 How many days NC are you on today and what % recovered do you feel overall? For me its day 27 and I feel about 40% healed. SO hard and sad but pushing through. Lets inspire eachother or help support, put your nc & percentage healed.
Blizeow Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 25 days of NC- I honestly do not feel any better at all- Love and miss him everyday. This is brutal for me.
Author herself Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 25 days of NC- I honestly do not feel any better at all- Love and miss him everyday. This is brutal for me. Wow! Par yourself on the back for sticking it out while your heart is breaking. Your keeping your dignity and healing takes alot of time with lors of ups and downs, hang in.
Tae Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 about 47 days of NC. 20% healed. I am yet to fully realize that I don't have a second chance. Very difficult to challenge that belief :0
RDawg Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 about 80 days, we did exchange some emails two weeks ago regarding the house we own together but I dont really regard that as having broken NC. Moving on is a very slow process when you lost someone who you love.
carl777 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 It's impossible to put on percentage on the healing process. There are good and bad days. BTW, I'm closing in on 3 months NC.
Tae Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 It's impossible to put on percentage on the healing process. There are good and bad days. BTW, I'm closing in on 3 months NC. Congrats, and I would totally agree with you.
realfriends Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 74 days. Like someone said, theres up days and down days. But I have more ups than downs now.
echo123 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 broke up over 4 months. ex broke NC almost every month. the.most recent NC last 22 days. healing over 80%, but I do have particular sad moments.
allcriedout1 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 You all are further along than me. My ex broke up with me mid October and we kept having contact. The longest NC was in November... 15 days. So the clock started over and today is only 8 days NC. I have been having a hard time but the past couple of days I have had a distraction (adult child moved back home). At first I thought great, just what I needed while I am going through my stuff but I think it might actually be a good thing and help distract me. I havent had my ex on my mind as much the past couple of days.
Philosoraptor Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 From the day I got my house signed over sometime in March 2012. Never wanted to hear from her again, and haven't. It's been a good time. Had I not had the house mess I probably wouldn't have heard from her since that point. Get to the point of acceptance and realize that your happiness is not tied to this individual. You'll no longer care how long it has been and the hurt will go away. Life gets much easier when you start living for yourself and stop allowing past ghosts to affect the only thing you can control... which is the present. Never know which moment will be your last, so don't use the precious little time we have in this life hurting over something that you can not control. If it's over, it's over. Live goes on, happiness returns, and love finds its way back in another form. 4
Roses777 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Today marks the first month since I last spoke to her or saw her. We were together for just over four years. She was Bipolar II and unmedicated. She has serious debts ($12k+), parents that are steps away from being bankrupt and no job. I was her longest relationship ever. Now she has blocked me on everything. I haven't had much luck in meeting someone new unfortunately (yet). She removed all ties to our past together, even removing a mutual friend in the last few days. We are done and she is in for a hard life.
picnicinthepark Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 BU 20 days ago and 10 days NC. Almost 5 year relationship ended suddenly. She fell out of love. I have my ups and downs but I don't feel any better. I have so many regrets. Holding onto hope isn't helping but moving on seems almost impossible right now.
Keii Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 BU was around 30 days ago, I'm about 60% healed. I dont wake up feeling like life is over anymore and I'm starting to rediscover myself and do the things I want to. We've had contact thrice: once for something volunteer related (we're both leaders), second time for a generalized "happy lunar new year" greeting (sent to everyone) and the third time over a huge family problem that he knows about. The first contact set me back a bit, but the subsequent ones did not. 1st contact was after 11 days of NC, 2nd contact was after 12 days of NC (25 days post BU) and the third contact was 4 days of NC (29 days post BU). It really is about acceptance and letting it go. Still got a long way to go (knowing I shouldn't hold onto any thoughts of reconciliation for the far future -years from now), but every day is a new day! Gotta keep our heads up and march forward!
SadNLonley Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 s**t. did i just break nc? I just checked out his fb page. Thank god nothing to see, but still i did it.
allcriedout1 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Its been very difficult for me. We were together over 8 years and the break was sudden. He said he was unhappy for the last 4 years but didnt want to hurt my feelings by breaking up with me. Say what?! I had no clue... break up was October. The longest NC has been 15 days. So the goal here is to hopefully go past the 15 day mark without contacting him. I am at 8 days NC today. I know its best to leave him alone to allow him the chance to miss me.... well I know he misses me... this is very difficult! I miss the way things used to be...
SadNLonley Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 s**t. did i just break nc? I just checked out his fb page. Thank god nothing to see, but still i did it.
Philosoraptor Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 s**t. did i just break nc? I just checked out his fb page. Thank god nothing to see, but still i did it. Yes, by all technicalities you did. But your focus shouldn't be how long you go, or if you break it; but moving on. Once you commit yourself to moving on the desire or care about what's going on in their lives cease to exist. 1
Gemini x Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Unofficial BU (he told me he loved me and then disappeared): 27 days ago NC lasted: 25 days By NC, I mean direct interaction. He was still on my fb those 25, unspoken days, where he'd post things directed at me in order to get a response. When it didn't work, he finally got mad and deleted me. That was 2 days ago, in which he broke NC to inform me he was going to delete me off facebook. Instead of just deleting me, he felt the need, after 25 days, to initiate contact. Apparently he got mad that in those 25 days I hadn't chased him and left him with his decision to run away from me. I made it look like I was moving on okay (which I'm not) so he broke NC to tell me that. It provoked a reply from me and we exchanged a few, good for nothing, texts. So, I'm 2 days NC now 1
Ruby Slippers Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 It's been almost 4 months. I'm more than halfway over it. I'd say about 60%. It still hurts, I still miss him, and I still think about him every day. But now my thoughts are focusing more on why we weren't the right match, mistakes I made, and what I can and will do better next time around. I'm talking to my first real dating prospect, and we're trying to plan our first date, but got totally snowed out last weekend. We agree that if the weather isn't terrible this weekend, we'll get together. He's suggesting we make this wretched winter more fun by making snow angels together, and possibly going sledding. I'm about ready to roll around in the snow with a man
NYyanks819 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Day 28 here.. It has its ups and downs, I am getting more productive at work which is good, but I still think about her a ton! The emotions aren't as intense though as they were the first couple weeks. I am hoping this next month goes well!
NYyanks819 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Yeah, I don't know how you can put a percentage on it.. I have my ups and downs where some days I am fine, other days I just want to break down and cry… This is so hard!!
Author herself Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 NC has helped me so much and has equally hurt me so much to go to overnight not conversing at ALL when we were so close. What helped me was deleting everything & blocking everywhere. It would break me down more to know he had NOT reached out so I killed hope by not looking for him. NC would have been a lot longer but he posted a missed connection to me on craigs list to say happy birthday once he realized I deleted my email address, and it caused us to speak cause I responded (like a MORON) but that was almost a month ago & I quickly ran back to the armor of nc realizing his msg was to relieve guilt & for ego stroke. Cant have even one toe in the water if you really want to be done feeling confused and sad, mislead or jerked around and heal you need to put up all barriers to any sort of contact. Fb allows you to temporarily disable account. If he was my fb friend (never was) i would delete my account to heal. Sometimes it takes drastic, drastic measures. I KNOWwe are all missing our connections and the good times but its a hard cold reality that breakups happen, and feelings change & it hurts badly but we can feel better slowly if WE keep pushing forward remembering times in our past we thought we would never recover from....but we did. Also, we can still love them at the same time as letting them go. Best wishes, keep the NC updates coming, they help us all. Especially people on day one, but I admire ALL numbers it shows real strength to keep solid.
NYyanks819 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I am also a big believer in ONline dating profiles to help you out! They seriously work when I get attention from other women online even if I don't hang out with them it just feels good and keeps me distracted… That is a huge suggestion 1
echo123 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 It's been almost 4 months. I'm more than halfway over it. I'd say about 60%. It still hurts, I still miss him, and I still think about him every day. But now my thoughts are focusing more on why we weren't the right match, mistakes I made, and what I can and will do better next time around. I'm talking to my first real dating prospect, and we're trying to plan our first date, but got totally snowed out last weekend. We agree that if the weather isn't terrible this weekend, we'll get together. He's suggesting we make this wretched winter more fun by making snow angels together, and possibly going sledding. I'm about ready to roll around in the snow with a man feel happy for you. I broke up with my ex 4 months ago and still healing. Haven't met someone yet.
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