smileitisfree Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Hi there , There is this girl that i've been dating for a month . I didn't want the things between us to happen very fast , so i didn't tell i like here after the second or third date . I wanted to get to know her better and eventually express my feelings .Meanwhile i've been complimenting her and showing that i like here in non verbal way . On the other side , she didn't seem to be the kind of girl that would laugh at every my joke or look me in the eyes e.c ...But the fact that we went out every day did give me some hint that she liked me .So a month passed by and i decided eventually to tell her im into her . But she told me that she was feeling about me only as a friend . I said ok i undestand , we could stay just friends . But her behavior has changed a lot ever since . She started to be more distant and obviously didn't want to go out with me at this point .I was always the first one to text here and quite honestly i was a lil bit clingy at times . Suddenly she started answering my question only with yes , no or short sentences , meaning she isn't pretty excited texting me . When i asked whats wrong , she told me that since i told her i'm into her , she couldn't treat me the way she did before . And like this we've been texting just normal everyday stuff . It is just that she stopped showing any interest when texting . This morning i saw that she has turned me off on the facebook chat , not blocked !!! What could this possibly mean ? Is she testing me or she just don't want to talk with me anymore . The other thing i can't understand is why she didn't block me but only turned the chat off. I don't want to appear weak and desperate and text her now and ask whats wrong . I'm also questioning myself if she ever liked me .Please give me some advice
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Dude. She's just not that into you. She doesn't want to be friends with you because you fancy her and that makes it awkward. Move on! 1
Author smileitisfree Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 Well i just noticed she is again online on facebook , which means she has turned the chat on for me but she doesn't start a conversation . Is she waiting for me to text her ? Should i wait for her to text me fist or should i go first ?
Zahara Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 This morning i saw that she has turned me off on the facebook chat , not blocked !!! What could this possibly mean ? Is she testing me or she just don't want to talk with me anymore . The other thing i can't understand is why she didn't block me but only turned the chat off. I don't want to appear weak and desperate and text her now and ask whats wrong . I'm also questioning myself if she ever liked me .Please give me some advice I'm sorry Smile, but she is not interested in you. She probably just turned off chat so that she can avoid having contact with you. I've turned people off on FB chat because I don't want to get stuck having a conversation with them. Please don't text her anymore. As a woman, I will tell you that chasing her even after she's told you she is not interested in you that way is a very big turn off. It's actually very annoying. What's wrong is that she's not into you. She may have like your company but after you mentioning you were into her, she probably realized she had to cut it off because 1) she didn't want to lead you on 2) she can't reciprocate how you feel. In that sense the best thing to do is to cut contact. 2
Emilia Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Well i just noticed she is again online on facebook , which means she has turned the chat on for me but she doesn't start a conversation . Is she waiting for me to text her ? Should i wait for her to text me fist or should i go first ? Please don't contact her. You need to find another girl, I'm really sorry.
Zahara Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Well i just noticed she is again online on facebook , which means she has turned the chat on for me but she doesn't start a conversation . Is she waiting for me to text her ? Should i wait for her to text me fist or should i go first ? She's not interested in you that way. FB means absolutely nothing when the woman is telling you point blank she's not interested. Listen to what she is saying. I have exs on my FB with chat turned on does that mean we want to talk to each other? No. 1
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Well i just noticed she is again online on facebook , which means she has turned the chat on for me but she doesn't start a conversation . Is she waiting for me to text her ? Should i wait for her to text me fist or should i go first ? Did you not read what I (and the others) wrote? She. Is. Not. Into. You. Sorry... move on.....
ExpatInItaly Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 She's already answered your questions. You heard it directly from the horse's mouth: she doesn't see you as more than a friend. She's not testing you. She's not waiting for you to text first. It sucks, but you need to stop pursuing her. Otherwise, I can virtually guarantee she will only become annoyed and find other ways to block you. Let this one go and you will find another girl who's just as into you as you are to her! 1
Author smileitisfree Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Thank you for the answers ) It helped me a lot What confuses me still is that she is now appearing to be in some kind of a break down . On the facebook wall i see only sad love songs and some quotes . I don't know what that could possibly mean . I also noticed that when i sing in after 2-3 min she leaves facebook , meaning she sees me online and then leaves (i guess). I know guys that it looks hopeless but deep down inside me there is something that tells me not to give up . i've had many girlfriends and been inlove with some of them but never felt this way before . I also asked my mom for advice , she told me 2 options - either she simply doesn't like me and wants me away from her life and that's why she behaves like that (what everyone says) or she had some bad break ups in the past and doesn't want to go through that again and maybe she is testing me whether i'm reliable and will give up on her fast . My mom also told me as a woman that if she ever liked me she wouldn't push me away that way and that she will be the one contacting me fist after what happened . I'm really confused right now ... I feel like i did something wrong .. Is it all hopeless ?
BlametheIrish Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Dude. She's just not that into you. She doesn't want to be friends with you because you fancy her and that makes it awkward. Move on! This is all you need to know. Now leave the poor woman alone. When a woman says she isn't interested it usually means she has NO interest. Use all that lovey dovey energy you've got bubbling inside you to get out there and chat up women who.ate interested. And work on the clingy thing. A clingy man usually kills any attraction a woman has for him.
Zahara Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I'm not sure how many more times it can be drilled into you that she is not into you. You don't give up when 2 (TWO) people want to work on a relationship. When someone tells you they are not interested it means they have given up and so should you because you're holding onto something that isn't there. You're very clingy and desperate. Women find that unattractive -- especially when they're telling you they aren't interested. You become a pain, a bother -- stop projecting how you feel onto her. When someone tells you they aren't interested, listen and accept. It's very clear.
ChatroomHero Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Thank you for the answers ) It helped me a lot What confuses me still is that she is now appearing to be in some kind of a break down . On the facebook wall i see only sad love songs and some quotes . I don't know what that could possibly mean . I also noticed that when i sing in after 2-3 min she leaves facebook , meaning she sees me online and then leaves (i guess). I know guys that it looks hopeless but deep down inside me there is something that tells me not to give up . i've had many girlfriends and been inlove with some of them but never felt this way before . I also asked my mom for advice , she told me 2 options - either she simply doesn't like me and wants me away from her life and that's why she behaves like that (what everyone says) or she had some bad break ups in the past and doesn't want to go through that again and maybe she is testing me whether i'm reliable and will give up on her fast . My mom also told me as a woman that if she ever liked me she wouldn't push me away that way and that she will be the one contacting me fist after what happened . I'm really confused right now ... I feel like i did something wrong .. Is it all hopeless ? I think it is all a sign she wants you. I think she is pining away all day and posting things on facebook in the hopes that when she posts a sad song it means she is in love with you. I think if she is on facebook when you are it means she loves you, if she is not on facebook when you are it means she loves you, I think anything she does is a secret signal to you that she loves you. Now see how silly that sounds? You need to realize something and factor it in...she has not spent more than 30 seconds thinking about you and those 30 seconds were thoughts of how she was not interested in you. Do you sit around all day thinking of some girl that likes you but you have no interest in? Well that girl you have no interest in thinks every move you make is dedicated to her too. Let it go. 2
TB Rhine Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 For what it's worth, if she was getting off Facebook specifically because you'd signed on, I think she'd do it a heck of a lot quicker than 2 or 3 minutes. So you may be reading too much into that. As for sad/mopey/depressing stuff she posts on her Wall -- she's a woman, and women like attention. She posts that stuff because she knows 1,500 guys she's stringing along will immediately swarm the comments section and start pumping her with adoration and reassurance. Facebook is simultaneously the best and worst thing that ever happened to the female ego. You say you didn't "tell her you like her" until after the second or third date. This is a mistake. You NEVER "tell a girl you like her." Instead, you indicate that by trying to move the relationship forward, by getting physical with her. Once you have a well-established physical relationship, then you can start (occasionally) doing sweet things for her, buying her little romantic gifts and so on (though it's important not to go overboard with this). Essentially, words mean nothing to a girl, and all telling her you like her will accomplish is to eliminate any frisson of tension or unpredictability you may have had going for you, by letting her know concretely what you want from her, and what her expectations should be. It simultaneously takes away all the mystery AND gives her the upper hand in the situation, as she now has the power to either grant or withhold what she knows you want. This is never a situation you want to be in with a woman, even if you've been married to her for 30 years.
Imajerk17 Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 The best thing you can do--for yourself, for having *any* chance of intriguing her btw--is to *move on* with your life. She'll see via FB how well you are doing without her. That is ironically your best chance of getting her interested. Its why women (people actually) always seem to come back when you don't care anymore...
Frank2thepoint Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Well i just noticed she is again online on facebook , which means she has turned the chat on for me but she doesn't start a conversation . Is she waiting for me to text her ? Should i wait for her to text me fist or should i go first ? I know guys that it looks hopeless but deep down inside me there is something that tells me not to give up . I'm really confused right now ... I feel like i did something wrong .. Is it all hopeless ? Since you refuse to listen to everyone's suggestion for you to move on because this girl doesn't like you romantically, then I suggest for you to text her, call her, message her, stalk her, and whatever bat-**** crazy stuff you are thinking of doing. The situation will go from bad to worse for you. You will destroy your self-esteem, maybe have a restraining order on you, or better yet, you'll go to jail. When you finally hit rock bottom, you may have a moment of clarity and realize you should of just let this girl go. Honestly, you are young and you are ignoring advice from people that have been through this and know the score. Pull yourself together.
Beauweir Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 She's not interested in you that way. FB means absolutely nothing when the woman is telling you point blank she's not interested. Listen to what she is saying. I have exs on my FB with chat turned on does that mean we want to talk to each other? No. Why would you have exs on your facebook that you didn't want to talk to? On FB chat even? Delete, delete, delete!
Beauweir Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Thank you for the answers ) It helped me a lot What confuses me still is that she is now appearing to be in some kind of a break down . On the facebook wall i see only sad love songs and some quotes . I don't know what that could possibly mean . I also noticed that when i sing in after 2-3 min she leaves facebook , meaning she sees me online and then leaves (i guess). I know guys that it looks hopeless but deep down inside me there is something that tells me not to give up . i've had many girlfriends and been inlove with some of them but never felt this way before . I also asked my mom for advice , she told me 2 options - either she simply doesn't like me and wants me away from her life and that's why she behaves like that (what everyone says) or she had some bad break ups in the past and doesn't want to go through that again and maybe she is testing me whether i'm reliable and will give up on her fast . My mom also told me as a woman that if she ever liked me she wouldn't push me away that way and that she will be the one contacting me fist after what happened . I'm really confused right now ... I feel like i did something wrong .. Is it all hopeless ? She probably broke up with someone else. It's possible that she was going through a rocky relationship thing with someone else and couldn't really handle your confession on top of that. Maybe the other guy broke up with her and now she is posting sad songs etc. I think your mom said that to you to spare your feelings mate. At this point if you pursue this girl too heavily you could come across as a stalker. Get yourself on OLD see how many other girls there are in the world that you could connect to. Go outside, smell the breeze, know that there is a whole world of girls out there many of whom will mirror the infatuation you have for them. Go out and meet them my old son! Also if you really want to test her unfollow her on facebook so you can't see any new posts, turn her off from facebook chat, and don't reply to her texts for a couple of weeks. This will show that you have a life away from her and may make you seem more attractive. It's a bit of a stretch, but has been known to work.
Noproblem Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 You know if you ignore her there is a chance that she'll be a little interested. Ignoring after caring always works wonders.
Zahara Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Why would you have exs on your facebook that you didn't want to talk to? On FB chat even? Delete, delete, delete! Not as in do not want to talk to them because I want nothing to do with them but have no need to use FB chat as a tool to communicate. I don't ever use it. They're just on there because they are on my list of friends.
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