Keii Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Broke NC today because of some family problems that have been ongoing. Today, the problems were really bad, and I ended up feeling like I want to text him because he knows the extent and damage of it, but at the same time I feel like it's not his job to hear me out about the problems. I ended up breaking NC, and texted him, saying that I'm sorry but really needed his support/ to hear me out due to [family issue] and that if he doesn't want to, I also understand. He ended up replying and gave me some blunt insight that I already knew, but needed someone to hear me out about. It then progressed to a lighter and more casual conversation. We both updated each other on what we've been doing lately. Like me, he's also started to exercise more. I noticed he kept asking me how I've been and if there's anything new in my life. It was a lot of kind of subtle prodding to see if I found anyone new. He was surprised and really pleased to learn that I've been trying to improve myself as a person, and realizing my flaws and what I need to overcome them. Throughout the conversation, I felt relieved but not giddy to receive his responses. I feel like I have moved on further than he has so far, especially with the amount of self reflection and improvements that I've done. He admitted that he hasn't had the time to reflect due to his studying. I will probably see him sometime this month because he will be returning to the organization we both volunteer at. When that time comes, I will be friendly, but nothing more. I need to continue on and grow as a person, even if that small piece of my heart wants to reconcile, I will stay strong. Thank you to everyone at LS! Even just reading other threads when I'm sad about the BU has helped me so much.
David87 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Broke NC today because of some family problems that have been ongoing. Today, the problems were really bad, and I ended up feeling like I want to text him because he knows the extent and damage of it, but at the same time I feel like it's not his job to hear me out about the problems. I ended up breaking NC, and texted him, saying that I'm sorry but really needed his support/ to hear me out due to [family issue] and that if he doesn't want to, I also understand. He ended up replying and gave me some blunt insight that I already knew, but needed someone to hear me out about. It then progressed to a lighter and more casual conversation. We both updated each other on what we've been doing lately. Like me, he's also started to exercise more. I noticed he kept asking me how I've been and if there's anything new in my life. It was a lot of kind of subtle prodding to see if I found anyone new. He was surprised and really pleased to learn that I've been trying to improve myself as a person, and realizing my flaws and what I need to overcome them. Throughout the conversation, I felt relieved but not giddy to receive his responses. I feel like I have moved on further than he has so far, especially with the amount of self reflection and improvements that I've done. He admitted that he hasn't had the time to reflect due to his studying. I will probably see him sometime this month because he will be returning to the organization we both volunteer at. When that time comes, I will be friendly, but nothing more. I need to continue on and grow as a person, even if that small piece of my heart wants to reconcile, I will stay strong. Thank you to everyone at LS! Even just reading other threads when I'm sad about the BU has helped me so much. And how do you feel now after braking NC? You told him that you NEED his suport, that sounds to me like you still need him for emotional suport and you have to do some work to forget him. You gave him a huge ego boost.
Author Keii Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 And how do you feel now after braking NC? You told him that you NEED his suport, that sounds to me like you still need him for emotional suport and you have to do some work to forget him. You gave him a huge ego boost. I definitely still have a lot to work on. The one thing that keeps me going is that I want to improve for myself. I had to face a lot of my demons after the BU, and am determined to overcome them. In terms of after breaking NC, I don't feel upset or distraught. Mostly, I felt appreciative. We didn't end on bad terms (it was about a 60/40 break up between the two of us). The conversation afterwards felt very much like how it used to be BEFORE we were in a relationship (minus the parts where he seemed a bit eager to know what was going on in my life). You're probably right that it was an ego boost of sorts to him. He was the person who knew all the history of this particular problem, and understands it the most (partially because his family situation isn't that great either), which is probably why I felt like turning to him...
David87 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I definitely still have a lot to work on. The one thing that keeps me going is that I want to improve for myself. I had to face a lot of my demons after the BU, and am determined to overcome them. In terms of after breaking NC, I don't feel upset or distraught. Mostly, I felt appreciative. We didn't end on bad terms (it was about a 60/40 break up between the two of us). The conversation afterwards felt very much like how it used to be BEFORE we were in a relationship (minus the parts where he seemed a bit eager to know what was going on in my life). You're probably right that it was an ego boost of sorts to him. He was the person who knew all the history of this particular problem, and understands it the most (partially because his family situation isn't that great either), which is probably why I felt like turning to him... Well I think that you should work on improving your self and only then try to be frinds with your ex, if that is what you wish.
Author Keii Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Well I think that you should work on improving your self and only then try to be frinds with your ex, if that is what you wish. Definitely...there's still a long way to go (and a lot to be done) if I want to achieve my goals and hit every single one of my self-improvement resolutions.
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