kit4kat Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Ringing in the new year meant changes in my dating life. So, lets see here, we're on day 16 of this brand new year, and already I've been played, nearly proposed to, been through mind-game mania all in 15 days!!! There's this really REALLY hot guy I know, been friends with him for years. He recently broke up with his ex-- sad, I know-- and started talking to me more. We went out, cuddled, held hands, had an AMAZING day together, kissed, talked more and more, then I found out he was doing all this with his ex too, and now they're back together.... Reason 1 why I give up. I've had a crush on a guy off and on for a little while now. We've always been great friends. In the past month he and I have been talking more and hanging out more. we even went on an informal "date". He's always around me, sticks to my side, always looking at me, always flirting... always playing mind games. Nearly all of our mutual friends are in agreement that he likes me, but he does nothing about it... Reason 2 why I give up. My best friend is in love with me. I have never felt the same way back. I thought he had moved on or whatever, but a recent conversation made me realize that once again, I am oblivious to the obvious. He told me that I was the only one he could see himself marrying and then continued to talk as if we were getting married. Scary thing is, it felt kinda right talking like that. I am now so-ooo confused, I'm still NOT attracted to him, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him... Reason 3 why I give up. Am I wrong to give up? I'm not giving up forever, just for now. Has anyone been where I am? I could use a few words of wisdom and encouragement
JoL Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Oh boy..sorry to hear about the dating mess! I broke up with my bf a couple of weeks before NY as well. I vowed not to get into another serious relationship, as for dating, i vowed to stay away from that too for a while! Maybe it's a good idea to just let go and see what happens. It's when you least expect it that things fall into place!
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 With the first guy, giving up on him is appropriate. Nuff said there. With the second guy, it wouldn't hurt for you to make the next move instead of waiting for him to do it - but if you get the idea that he's as into it as he's going to be, then giving up on him is appropriate too. With the friend guy, Originally posted by kit4kat Scary thing is, it felt kinda right talking like that. I am now so-ooo confused, I'm still NOT attracted to him, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him... .. do not turn to him because no one else happens to be there for you. What will happen when you find a guy that you are attracted to, that you can fall romantically in love with? It would not be a good idea to settle for friend guy because you 'gave up' on everything else. It might be a better idea to stop leading him on. You don't want to find yourself in a situation where you shatter this guy's heart when a guy comes along that you are attracted to and can fall deeply and romantically in love with. Giving up on guys on an individual basis is understandable, but giving up in general is a bad idea. You'll find yourself settling for far less than will ever really make you happy. Just give it time, try to meet new people and form some new interests and circles of friends - and hopefully meet some new men as well.
Author kit4kat Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 Thanks for your responses! Giving up on guys on an individual basis is understandable, but giving up in general is a bad idea. You'll find yourself settling for far less than will ever really make you happy. Just give it time, try to meet new people and form some new interests and circles of friends - and hopefully meet some new men as well. This makes sense. Maybe it's a good idea to just let go and see what happens. It's when you least expect it that things fall into place! So does this. I think I'm just going to continue on with my life, and see where it takes me. I'm going to give up trying to control the situations with these three guys. After all, life isn't really in my control anyways. Its all in God's hands and this is one of many tests teaching me to completely and fully trust in him and his plan for my life. I just hate not having control!!!
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