Was she ever interested?

[adamw83]

A few weeks ago I decided to finally ask this girl out for coffee. Here's a little background...

 

I am somewhat of a shy person when it comes to the opposite sex (not painfully shy, like I can't have a normal conversation with a girl I fancy, but I am usually not good at reading signs of attraction or summoning the courage to ask her out, and I often let things fizzle because of it). Nevertheless, I decided to ask her out. I figured she would say yes because she seemed to show signs of interest. Two of my female coworkers were talking to her, saying how me and her would make a cute couple because we are so similar in personality and interests, and apparently she got really embarrassed, started blushing, and kept trying to change the subject. Also, at my work we did secret santa, and she ended up getting me, and one of my female coworkers told me that the girl I liked got me and told my coworker that she, "knew exactly what to get me." I figured if she wasn't really interested in me she would have got me a gift card or something simple, especially since the limit was $20. However, she instead bought me a vinyl of a band that we both like, and she also stayed up late the night before baking various sweets. In fact, she made a point of telling me she had stayed up all night baking for me, which I figured meant she wanted me to know that she cared enough about me to stay up all night baking for me.

 

After the holidays had ended she had to quit because her work schedule interfered with her school schedule. It was a bittersweet situation because while I was disappointed that I would not see her anymore, I had more confidence to ask her out because if she said no, I would probably never see her again. I was going to ask her out in person, but she left before I had a chance to ask her, so I asked messaged her over Facebook thanking her or the vinyl and baked goods and asked her if she wanted to go out for coffee. She said yes, we set up a time and place, and she even gave me her phone number without me having to ask for it (and it wasn't like I gave her mine, so she felt obligated to give me hers, she just gave it to me out of the blue). We then talked on Facebook for a while, but I had to end it because I was really tired and had to work the next morning.

 

About an hour before our date she texted me saying she was really sorry, but she has to reschedule because she got asked to babysit, and since she doesn't have a job she needs all the money she can get. I texted her back, "No problem. I understand," and asked if she wanted to do it on thursday, and she said yes. About an hour before our date on thursday she texted me asking if we were still on for 7? I said yes, and she texted back saying she was really sorry, but she has to cancel again because she is having some problems at home, but, "we can do it next week if your still want to ." I texted her back, "Okay. I understand. I guess if you still want to, send me a text and we can set something up. If not, I understand. Hope everything is okay."

 

I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but I began to think maybe she was leading me on, but she never came across as shallow or flakey. I thought maybe she was nervous because she too is somewhat of shy girl. She was also dumped by her ex boyfriend a few months ago, so maybe she is not entirely over him. Also, I'm going to traveling in Ireland for a few months, so maybe she doesn't want to start something knowing it will be long distance for a while.

 

This a really confusing situation because I thought she really liked me (even my coworkers were surprised that she cancelled both times). I mean if she wasn't interested why would she say yes (especially over Facebook, where she could've said no, or simply ignored my message), and give me her number without me even asking for it (and it wasn't like I gave her mine, so she felt obligated to give me hers, she just willingly gave it to me out of the blue).

 

I really like and I'm thinking about messaging her again when I get back from Ireland, hoping that if I gave her a few months to collect herself, and get over her ex (if she truly did still have feelings for him) maybe should want to go out; However, I'm not going to let her prevent me from meeting other girls.

 

Any advice would be great

 

Thanks!

[StGeorge22]

So how exactly did you leave it? Waiting for her to message you about next week? The ball is basically in her court now. If she messages to organise something, great. If she doesn't, you haven't lost anything. Best thing to do is to try not to analysis it too much. Everyone has their own hang ups. If she not long got broken up with she probably hadn't done much dating. Leave it with her and if she does message don't be all " I was wondering if you would message". Act like your life has gone on regardless and be like "hey don't you still owe me that coffee" etc.