allikowski Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Me and my ex were dating for a year and he dumped me. I don't want to get into the details again but pretty much he just said that he was moving on and that he couldn't be with me anymore. I contacted him on Wednesday and he was so sweet he said he was so glad I was doing well and that he missed he a lot. He then said he could see us in the future again but for now all he could offer is friendship for now. I was so happy we talked all day on Thursday and Friday and saw him. He was saying things like he thought I was beautiful and just being so sweet again. Well yesterday he told me to move on again and that he doesn't want to talk to me again. This is about the 5th time he's done this. I'm so sad and I feel so stupid falling for this game again. I still have feelings for him and I love him. I have a feeling he's seeing another girl. I did confront gin though and told him he acts so cold to me and then he changes his mind but then goes back to being cold. All he had to say was that he's a cold and confusing person, which isn't true he was never like that even before we were dating. He's acting like this towards everything now. His stepdad is getting heart surgery and he diesnt even care. I asked him if he was okay and he said ya he's actually happy and doesn't really care at all. I know everyone is going to tell me to go no contact and that's what I plan on doing. I just feel so hurt and sad on how he changed within two months and doesn't care about anything anymore or me. :,(
Simon Phoenix Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Me and my ex were dating for a year and he dumped me. I don't want to get into the details again but pretty much he just said that he was moving on and that he couldn't be with me anymore. I contacted him on Wednesday and he was so sweet he said he was so glad I was doing well and that he missed he a lot. He then said he could see us in the future again but for now all he could offer is friendship for now. I was so happy we talked all day on Thursday and Friday and saw him. He was saying things like he thought I was beautiful and just being so sweet again. Well yesterday he told me to move on again and that he doesn't want to talk to me again. This is about the 5th time he's done this. I'm so sad and I feel so stupid falling for this game again. I still have feelings for him and I love him. I have a feeling he's seeing another girl. I did confront gin though and told him he acts so cold to me and then he changes his mind but then goes back to being cold. All he had to say was that he's a cold and confusing person, which isn't true he was never like that even before we were dating. He's acting like this towards everything now. His stepdad is getting heart surgery and he diesnt even care. I asked him if he was okay and he said ya he's actually happy and doesn't really care at all. I know everyone is going to tell me to go no contact and that's what I plan on doing. I just feel so hurt and sad on how he changed within two months and doesn't care about anything anymore or me. :,( He's not playing a game. You are the one who keeps contacting him -- it's not like he's seeking you out. You need to reclaim whatever dignity you have left, go No Contact, and stay No Contact. 1
Author allikowski Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 I understand that but instead of saying that me missed me why didn't he just tell me straight off he doesn't want to talk to me? :,(
Musing Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 He was probably being serious. Dumpers are human, they aren't heartless. But, just because someone misses you, does not mean they miss being with you or want to be with you. It just means "Hey, someone was in my life a lot and now they are missing" It's an adjustment period, for both of you. 2
pickflicker Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 He seems to be trying to be as understanding as possible, but you'll continue to hurt yourself if you keep contacting him. Just leave it now.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I understand that but instead of saying that me missed me why didn't he just tell me straight off he doesn't want to talk to me? :,( Because he probably does miss you on some level. But that doesn't mean he wants to be in a relationship with you. You really need to stop being a weakling and chasing him. 1
Author allikowski Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) I don't want to get into to much bunch we dated for a year, he brokeup with me over a small fight, we never lied or cheated on eachother nothing like that. He really did love me I have no doubt about it but he was able to move on after a day. He just said he wants to better himself and do his own thing. I have a car and a job but he doesn't so he always felt bad about it. He has told me that their is a chance and loads of possibility that he would want to get back together I'm the future just not right this minute. So I asked him if we could be friends and he agreed. Well three days after being friends he told me I should moved on or it's not going to get easier for me and that he was sorry. We had a talk and I noticed each message he send me said sorry in it. At the end of the talk he said "I'm your friend and if you need something I'll be happy to help but nows just not a good time I'm sorry" I asked him if he will tell me when he's ready to be good friends again because he was my bestfriend and their really isn't any hard feelings between us and he said "oh I will don't worry" so I am now giving him his space and I'm going to go no contact for 90 days it's already been a week. If he does talk to me though I think I will reply because I know he just needs his space and I'm not mad at him and I just want to give him his time. When I am doing no contact does that mean not liking any of his Facebook statuses or reblogging things he posts on tumblr? I'm not technically talking to him so I don't know if it counts. I still love him a lot and I know he's just trying to figure out his life and all. Edited February 11, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
flightplan Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 He's doing his thing and it doesn't include you. He's over the relationship with you and he's probably seeing someone else.
Author allikowski Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Well ya I already said I realized that and he said not right now. I already knew that but he's not seeing anyone right now. I'm not sad or crying over him and more I've moved on to. If he did talk to me though I'd be open to it since like I said their are no hard feelings between us. I wanted to go no contact for myself to and like I said again I don't know if liking his Facebook status or reblogging his things on tumblr count. It doesn't mean anything to me just that I'm being friendly but I also need time to evaluate things.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 If you are following him on Facebook that's not No Contact. No Contact means no social media exposure as well. If you don't want to block or unfriend him and have the discipline not to click on his page you can block his news feed. Otherwise, you should block him for your own good.
Never Again Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Stop all the things. All of them. The best thing you can do for yourself is to pretend he's dead. Box up anything that reminds you of him. Pack them away somewhere. Remove him from your newsfeed on FB (can be a "good" choice if you have mutual friends and you don't want to make them feel like they have to pick sides), or just outright block him. Grieve the relationship. Hell, even hold a funeral for him in your mind. He's not your friend. He chose to leave your life, so let him do it COMPLETELY. 6
Author allikowski Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 I should have listened to all of you I still has his password on snapchat and I was curious and he's talking to another girl and I'm crying so much I'm in so much pain I want to move on I feel so hurt since he brokeup with me and is already with another girl I'm so ugh I'm so hurt :,(
pickflicker Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I should have listened to all of you I still has his password on snapchat and I was curious and he's talking to another girl and I'm crying so much I'm in so much pain I want to move on I feel so hurt since he brokeup with me and is already with another girl I'm so ugh I'm so hurt :,( If you continue contact with him, you only end up hurting more. You need to delete the app, or his number, and stay away from it. 1
rosedl Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I disagree with him not playing games. He is stringing you along by telling you that he has hope for the future and spending time with you. He could refuse contact, and he certainly doesn't have to see you. It takes two.
pickflicker Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I disagree with him not playing games. He is stringing you along by telling you that he has hope for the future and spending time with you. He could refuse contact, and he certainly doesn't have to see you. It takes two. She reaches out. It's up to her to stop. He can't do that for her. She needs to be responsible for her own actions and realise that if contact hurts her, then she needs to stop doing it - not expect him to make the right decision.
Author allikowski Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 I reached out to him and didn't except to hear from him again but he actually reached out to me twice after that :,( I just feel like he lied to me about not wanting to see other people when he was calling her hot and stuff. He changed his password on it. I'm kind if glad I found out though because I didn't know if I should move on or not. Know I'm sure because he's already talking to other girls and has moved on. I don't understand why he would say he loved me for a year and get over me within a day. Now that I gave reflection to the relationship I gave him my all. I loved him no matter what he told me and he wasn't as perfect as I thought he was. I just blocked it all out because I was so in love with him. He was my first with everything so idk I feel better the more I reflect on it.
FailedFirstLove Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Awww don't do this to yourself... It hurts so much!!!!! You should have left it while you were ahead... Take that "he misses you" and stopped at that. Then don't do anything until he wants you back.. At least you know he has someone. It's info for you to walk away from him.. It should take all hope away now...
Author allikowski Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 That's true I really wished I stopped theirs but I feel as if I can move on now. I wokeup this morning and I feel like my heart is being squeezed. He was going to commit suicide before I met him and he use to be so poor that he had to wear the same thing everyday. He also had really low self esteem and a bunch of other problems. I always loved him no matter what though I didn't care I just genuinely loved him so much. Now that he has bettered himself he left me behind and is talking to all these other girls who just realized how amazing he is. It really hurts me that he did that but I know I can't do anything about it. I mean I would even have to pay for our dates sometimes. I know I'm super hurt now but at least I realize all these thins and he's not as perfect as I thought. I just don't know how to cope with all this .
Author allikowski Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 I know I'm going no contact but I'm having the strongest urge to message him right now even though he's moved on I still feel so sad and hurt and I wish I had him again I know I can't do anything about it I just miss him so much it hurts u.u
Zahara Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I know I'm going no contact but I'm having the strongest urge to message him right now even though he's moved on I still feel so sad and hurt and I wish I had him again I know I can't do anything about it I just miss him so much it hurts u.u You cannot find comfort in the person that is hurting you. You have to bear through this on your own and with the help of your friends and family. Messaging him gives you temporary relief. Very soon after you're back at square one. 5
tlegend Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 You cannot find comfort in the person that is hurting you. You have to bear through this on your own and with the help of your friends and family. Messaging him gives you temporary relief. Very soon after you're back at square one. Ain't that the fcking truth. I messaged my ex last night. Cold response back. Square 1. Stupid me. I know I'm going no contact but I'm having the strongest urge to message him right now even though he's moved on I still feel so sad and hurt and I wish I had him again I know I can't do anything about it I just miss him so much it hurts u.u Hang in there allikowski. You'll find someone someday that will shower you with the affection you deserve. Until then, absorb our affection. 1
Author allikowski Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Thank you I'll try to my friends have helped me so much and so has my family but I can't help but feel so sad since it's Valentines tomorrow some days I wish I could fast forward a year and see where I am at the point if ill still be so sad
Jord11 Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I'm over 300 days no contact with my ex and you should do the same or you'll keep getting hurt all over again and again and again, it sucks it's hard believe me I loved that girl one point in my life, but nc is for the best 2
Author allikowski Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 I know I have been feeling better it's just that somedays I relapse into missing him so much again and today was one of those bad days I'm really proud if myself for resisting the urge to message him today and I made plans to hang out with a close friend on Valentines to keep my mind off him I am still so shocked though on how he moved on so quickly but like everyone's been saying I can't do anything but love and take care of myself
David87 Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Always think first about yourself and then think about others.
Recommended Posts