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How can someone disappear after a few months of dating without a word?

nadinefleur

By nadinefleur
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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nadinefleur Member

nadinefleur

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Interesting you should say that, we did actually meet on a dating app which I guess is the same as online.

 

I had a feeling he met someone else, but before we had sex I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said definitely not.

 

Unless, he started talking to someone new on the app after and then realised he liked her more? God knows... but I think I will delete him off social media so he knows not to come back

HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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Interesting you should say that, we did actually meet on a dating app which I guess is the same as online.

 

I had a feeling he met someone else, but before we had sex I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said definitely not.

 

Unless, he started talking to someone new on the app after and then realised he liked her more? God knows... but I think I will delete him off social media so he knows not to come back

 

Yea, I figured must of been some kind of online/dating app. It's super easy for guys to play games using those sites and when they are done with you they disappear. They think the grass is greener because a new pretty face winked at them. Of course he'll tell you your the only one, they lie to get what they want. I've personally decided to not date online anymore because this is how too many women are treated. It's the perfect place for cowards and liars.

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nadinefleur Member

nadinefleur

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Yea, I figured must of been some kind of online/dating app. It's super easy for guys to play games using those sites and when they are done with you they disappear. They think the grass is greener because a new pretty face winked at them. Of course he'll tell you your the only one, they lie to get what they want. I've personally decided to not date online anymore because this is how too many women are treated. It's the perfect place for cowards and liars.

 

I think I will stay away too, I only started using it because it was easy to meet guys and I was having a hard time meeting someone in real life. But it turns out there are no decent men on there!!

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Suggestion: Post up wedding pictures and family pictures, as appropriate, and leave dating partners/BF's, etc, off of social media, presuming you wish to avoid gossip and drama.

 

It is, or has become, a very mobile and transitory world and people often will succeed in disappointing you if you wish for something solid and long-term. I recall sharing your frustration, and others regarding relationships, for many years. In the end, and being married really put a point on it, people do what they do. Ever second we spend dwelling on the injustice of it all is a second which is robbed from our lives. Trust me, they don't care. That's a really good lesson in life to learn. If you're exceedingly lucky, you'll find a precious few people who do care either about you or in general and some of them may last a lifetime. Those are gifts. The rest? It is what it is. Call them names, cuss them out, throw things at them....it matters not. They do what they do. It works.

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Eau Claire Established Member

Eau Claire

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Yea, I figured must of been some kind of online/dating app. It's super easy for guys to play games using those sites and when they are done with you they disappear. They think the grass is greener because a new pretty face winked at them. Of course he'll tell you your the only one, they lie to get what they want. I've personally decided to not date online anymore because this is how too many women are treated. It's the perfect place for cowards and liars.

 

Millions of women have met millions of great guys on line. I met mine.

 

Sure there are players. However, a woman with awareness and good social skills is discerning with whom she gets involved. We are not children. Women are told over and over (and over) about certain signs, moving too fast, etc. yet still turn off the brain.

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nadinefleur Member

nadinefleur

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Millions of women have met millions of great guys on line. I met mine.

 

Sure there are players. However, a woman with awareness and good social skills is discerning with whom she gets involved. We are not children. Women are told over and over (and over) about certain signs, moving too fast, etc. yet still turn off the brain.

 

I can normally spot a player from a mile away! This guy was not one, he was really shy, and a true gentleman. He waited til the third date to kiss me, and then I went away for a while, and he still spoke to me every single day, seriously was the sweetest man I've ever met in my life! Before we had sex I felt comfortable with him, we didn't rush into anything... I just knew deep down he was a good guy.

 

Then all of a sudden he changed, was texting less, was asking less questions, not initiating dates. Then one time after our last date he took 4 days to contact me, which was weird because before he was contacting me every day. So I asked him about it, and told him I liked him but didn't know where I stood with him. To me his behaviour changed after we had sex.

 

He didn't say he liked me back nor told me where I stood, he just said he was busy and asked when he could see me. Which I thought was bulls***

 

I was upset that he didn't say he liked me back, when all of his actions were showing he was, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt so I asked when he was free and poof. Nothing.

 

A week later I contacted him telling him if he wasn't feeling it anymore that it would be nice if he could let me know. And nothing

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nadinefleur Member

nadinefleur

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By the way, do you guys think its harsh to delete him off all social media considering he hasn't contacted me for 2 weeks and has ignored my last few attempts at contacting him?

 

I just need to forget about him and move on, and seeing his name everywhere whenever I go online doesn't help!

HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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By the way, do you guys think its harsh to delete him off all social media considering he hasn't contacted me for 2 weeks and has ignored my last few attempts at contacting him?

 

I just need to forget about him and move on, and seeing his name everywhere whenever I go online doesn't help!

 

You should have deleted him a LONG time ago! Even if this guy comes running back to you tonight with some BS excuse don't you think you deserve better?!

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HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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Posted
Millions of women have met millions of great guys on line. I met mine.

 

Sure there are players. However, a woman with awareness and good social skills is discerning with whom she gets involved. We are not children. Women are told over and over (and over) about certain signs, moving too fast, etc. yet still turn off the brain.

 

 

 

Very true, there are MANY couples who have hit it off but they are far and few of them. Even the most discerning woman ends up dealing with this when dating online because people think the grass is greener and dump you for a new wink in a hot minute. It's sad but true about online dating. Your one of the lucky ones who met a honest person.

Eau Claire Established Member

Eau Claire

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I can normally spot a player from a mile away! This guy was not one, he was really shy, and a true gentleman. He waited til the third date to kiss me, and then I went away for a while, and he still spoke to me every single day, seriously was the sweetest man I've ever met in my life! Before we had sex I felt comfortable with him, we didn't rush into anything... I just knew deep down he was a good guy.

 

Then all of a sudden he changed, was texting less, was asking less questions, not initiating dates. Then one time after our last date he took 4 days to contact me, which was weird because before he was contacting me every day. So I asked him about it, and told him I liked him but didn't know where I stood with him. To me his behaviour changed after we had sex.

 

He didn't say he liked me back nor told me where I stood, he just said he was busy and asked when he could see me. Which I thought was bulls***

 

I was upset that he didn't say he liked me back, when all of his actions were showing he was, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt so I asked when he was free and poof. Nothing.

 

A week later I contacted him telling him if he wasn't feeling it anymore that it would be nice if he could let me know. And nothing

 

 

He 'liked' you? I like my hamster. Did he love you? Did you have the exclusive talk? We're you a couple that were looking forward to the future.?

Eau Claire Established Member

Eau Claire

Posted
Posted
Very true, there are MANY couples who have hit it off but they are far and few of them. Even the most discerning woman ends up dealing with this when dating online because people think the grass is greener and dump you for a new wink in a hot minute. It's sad but true about online dating. Your one of the lucky ones who met a honest person.

 

Millions of women have met honest men. I have. A larger percent of relationships result from OLD every year. In my circle it is now the norm how my friends met their partners. Most men are honest and decent guys.

 

When patterns develop in choosing the wrong type of guy, examine 'why'. Your attitude is skewed because if a man cares about you he will NOT dump you in the wink of an eye. You need to ask yourself why you attract this type of man.

HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

Posted
Posted
Millions of women have met honest men. I have. A larger percent of relationships result from OLD every year. In my circle it is now the norm how my friends met their partners. Most men are honest and decent guys.

 

When patterns develop in choosing the wrong type of guy, examine 'why'. Your attitude is skewed because if a man cares about you he will NOT dump you in the wink of an eye. You need to ask yourself why you attract this type of man.

 

Look no further than this site and you see that meeting these honest and decent millions of men is NOT the norm for online dating! Do honest & decent men exist? Yes. Are they the majority online? NO.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
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By the way, do you guys think its harsh to delete him off all social media considering he hasn't contacted me for 2 weeks and has ignored my last few attempts at contacting him?

 

I just need to forget about him and move on, and seeing his name everywhere whenever I go online doesn't help!

 

Do delete him! Then block him too. He has shown you by ignoring he's not interested. What a spineless wimp.

 

Some guys (and girls) end things this way because they do what is easiest and best for them. They can't or won't deal with your (general you) emotions, don't want to explain themselves or answer questions.

 

Bottom line is, if someone treats you like that, let go and move on. They do not deserve your time, effort or head space!

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magnum1 Member

magnum1

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Posted
I just don't understand how a guy can just disappear without a word! Things seemed to be going so well, we were talking nearly every day for 3 months and then suddenly he just changes his mind!

 

It doesn't hurt so much that he changed his mind about me... but more that he didn't respect me enough that he didn't think he needed to explain anything to me. Fair enough if you go on a date with someone once or twice, then disappear.. you don't owe anyone anything.

 

But if you've been talking to someone every day for 3 months, you open up to eachother, you are intimate, you have sex.....it just baffles me completely how someone can do that?! Is that what I deserve?

 

Sorry, I'm just venting here.. but I really liked this guy, he had so much promise, and I am fed up of being let down all the time by guys.. :(

 

I can COMPLETELY emphasise with you here nadine…

 

 

Had the very same happen to me recently… (see my thread) had been with my ex gf for little over 6 months - she too suddenly disappeared, ignored my texts didn't answer my calls. In my case I have just found out she is back with her ex (who she'd split up with a few months before meeting me, told me he was a horrible guy, treated her badly etc etc). Makes sense now in hindsight, she went a bit cold a few weeks before her disappearing act, but missed/ignored the signs at the time :o

 

I felt the exact same - how can someone go from talking every day for months, to NOTHING?! Again, like you it was not even the fact she wanted to break up that bothered me the most, it was the fact she didn't even have the balls and show me the respect to tell me to my face…

 

All I can suggest from what I've learnt is:

 

-Do you really wanna be with someone who could treat you this way?

 

-Go NC straight away - I made the mistake of trying to make contact for a few weeks after, no response obviously which just made me feel worse. My natural reaction was to want to try and talk to her, the thought of never speaking to, or hearing from her again felt all wrong. But, NC DOES work - see the Caliguy thread sticky - they dumped us, they are the ones who don't care about us, if they wanted to contact us they would, us contacting them will do us no good, so don't pick the scab.

 

-Delete them from social media - I made the mistake last week of glancing at her Fb page before deleting her. Having made good progress over a few weeks, saw and read things that have set me back completely.

 

I don't think anyone deserves this. Not gonna lie, its the worst feeling I've ever know - 6 weeks on I still think about her, still dream about her, and is still the first thing I think about when I wake up. I have also learnt this forum is full of great people with great advice - I have printed off a few notes and put them on my bedroom wall which are the first thing I read when I get up so I at least start the day in the right mind set - have decided skulking around will not help me whatever happens (works for me!).

 

I feel your pain, both our exes are obviously not the people we thought they were. Keep your head up :)

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ashy555 Established Member

ashy555

Posted
Posted
I can COMPLETELY emphasise with you here nadine…

 

 

Had the very same happen to me recently… (see my thread) had been with my ex gf for little over 6 months - she too suddenly disappeared, ignored my texts didn't answer my calls. In my case I have just found out she is back with her ex (who she'd split up with a few months before meeting me, told me he was a horrible guy, treated her badly etc etc). Makes sense now in hindsight, she went a bit cold a few weeks before her disappearing act, but missed/ignored the signs at the time :o

 

I felt the exact same - how can someone go from talking every day for months, to NOTHING?! Again, like you it was not even the fact she wanted to break up that bothered me the most, it was the fact she didn't even have the balls and show me the respect to tell me to my face…

 

All I can suggest from what I've learnt is:

 

-Do you really wanna be with someone who could treat you this way?

 

-Go NC straight away - I made the mistake of trying to make contact for a few weeks after, no response obviously which just made me feel worse. My natural reaction was to want to try and talk to her, the thought of never speaking to, or hearing from her again felt all wrong. But, NC DOES work - see the Caliguy thread sticky - they dumped us, they are the ones who don't care about us, if they wanted to contact us they would, us contacting them will do us no good, so don't pick the scab.

 

-Delete them from social media - I made the mistake last week of glancing at her Fb page before deleting her. Having made good progress over a few weeks, saw and read things that have set me back completely.

 

I don't think anyone deserves this. Not gonna lie, its the worst feeling I've ever know - 6 weeks on I still think about her, still dream about her, and is still the first thing I think about when I wake up. I have also learnt this forum is full of great people with great advice - I have printed off a few notes and put them on my bedroom wall which are the first thing I read when I get up so I at least start the day in the right mind set - have decided skulking around will not help me whatever happens (works for me!).

 

I feel your pain, both our exes are obviously not the people we thought they were. Keep your head up :)

 

 

 

wow 6 months of being officially together :confused: .... Can i have her number? :mad:

These type of people need a good thorough talking too. Guessing some screw was loose in her head!

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