What's going on?

[melandrien]

Hey everyone,

 

So, this girl made me join a forum and tell complete strangers what I'm going through, how crazy must I be In all seriousness, all opinions are welcome, but it's also a way to express myself to people without the risk of the whole thing going wrong. So here it goes.

 

She's a co-worker. I liked her from the beginning (not in THAT kind of way... not yet), after some time the two of us became friends. At one point I got well aware that I feel something towards her, I wouldn't call it love, but definitely an attraction. And then something happened - we got drunk at her place, I kissed her, she withdrew a little bit at first but within a minute she already was kissing me back. We spent rest of the night making out and talking. We didn't have sex, one of the reasons was that she admitted she already was in a relationship, said it was not a serious one but if she started something with me, she would start it clean by breaking up first. Blunt maybe, but remember we were both drunk a bit, and actually this kind of attitude is something I can respect in general - starting dating me by cheating on somebody else would not exactly boost my faith in her honesty.

 

Anyway, whether it makes sense or not, I lost it. Fell in love with her. But since the following morning she didn't talk to me much. After a couple of days trying to talk to her I simply texted her, just that I think we should at least talk a bit. It started a conversation during which she told me she doesn't remember anything because she was drunk, and wasn't looking for a relationship. In all honesty, this did hurt. I didn't overdo it with hurt messages and at least kept my honor, but after this we didn't talk for a few months except on strictly business topics.

 

Reasons? She definitely wasn't completely honest, but I don't know true reasons. She's a slightly older than myself, our relationship would definitely be inappropriate because of work, but what the hell... easier to find a job than a good girl, and I was willing to risk that. I definitely thought what she did to me was awful, not that she rejected me, but she could at least do it in a more merciful manner. But on the other hand, who am I to judge, I did a LOT of stupid things myself over the years.

 

Slowly getting to the point. Now, after several months when I could be completely over her, I see her acting very differently around me than others. She's smiling at me all the time, even though she's known for being very critical towards other's work (not because she's a bitch, but it's sort of her job requirement, without going into too much details), I only see appreciaton from her. When I end up talking to her one on one, I clearly see how nervous she is.

 

Last weekend we had a company party, I ended up drunk at 3am in her appartment. Nothing at all happened, in the morning I left before she even woke up. We had a small fight over that over texts, but ended up by her saying we should talk. We agreed that on monday we arrange where and when we meet, and talk over things. But today was almost like she was avoiding me, I didn't see her whole day. At the end of the day I went into her office, and after her being nervous for a while I invited her out after work. She said she has something to do.

 

On the off chance someone read this whole wall of text, what the hell is going on??? I don't want to do anything stupid at this point, but worst of all, I'm scared that I'm going into loop here again with the wrong person.

 

PS. I must say it feels good putting your feelings into words, whether I get any answers or not

[Zahara]

We didn't have sex, one of the reasons was that she admitted she already was in a relationship, said it was not a serious one but if she started something with me, she would start it clean by breaking up first. Blunt maybe, but remember we were both drunk a bit, and actually this kind of attitude is something I can respect in general - starting dating me by cheating on somebody else would not exactly boost my faith in her honesty.

 

So, getting drunk, making out with another guy while she's in a relationship doesn't phase your trust in her all because you weren't dating? And you respect that? Fiddlesticks.

 

And just because she said it wasn't serious, you believe her? And I'm sure it's very noble of her that she won't let go of her branch until she's securely latched on to another. Red flag.

 

Why do people not take heed to such behavior when the chances of that person possibly treating you the same way is bound to happen? If she has no issues doing it to a boyfriend, why not to you?

 

You're like a puppet. She uses you when she needs attention then treats you like yesterday's newspaper when she's done with you. It's so unattractive in a man.