Any similar experiences here with an ex-girlfriend? (Not a long post, don't worry)

[Jamez1580]

Hey folks,

 

My last post was probably a tad long, so I will try and make this as succinct as possible...

 

I met a girl two years ago from the internet and we immediately hit it off. There was immediate chemistry, we had everything in common and she ended up missing the last coach home (She came 40 miles to meet me, as at the time she was at University, though she was from the same city as me). She ended up missing the last train home, too. Needless to say, it blossomed into a whirlwind romance and despite the odd bit of bickering here and there, we always got along well and confessed our love and the fact we were both in love to each other around a month into the relationship. It was us against the world. However, I became jealous and possessive and as a result rather dependent on her. I always promised I'd change but I stayed the same because she was always so forgiving. Around two months before we split, I could see it in her eyes that she was becoming sick to the back teeth of my empty promises and she suggested we split but I managed to convince her to stay with me a while longer. Whilst I should have grasped this opportunity and did my best to change, I remained the dependent, possessive idiot that I had always been. Anyway, the time came around a month ago and although she assured me she hadn't fallen out of love with me, she dumped me. I was devastated. I kept contact as limited as possible though, as much as I desperately wanted to call her and whatnot. We met up about a week after the split and it was very nice and we both flirted and it was almost like a first date. The second meet-up was ... not so good. I was in a foul mood and I ultimately asked her if there was a chance for us. She said "No." and that her and I simply were not meant to be. Inexplicably however, she still wanted to see me again and we met up for the third time 2 weeks later. We went for drinks and got along famously. She laughed at all of my jokes, gazed into my eyes, and they and her body language spoke volumes. She'd clearly made the effort to look attractive, too. After a short while, we passionately kissed and spoke of sex. She told me she didn't want to 'lead' me on as it wouldn't necessarily mean we'd get back together. I asked her what the chances of us reconciliating were and she replied with a whopping 2%. However, she told me she loves me and still 'really likes me'. She told me that she wouldn't rule me out for good and that we might end up together, but "probably not anytime soon". A little more optimistic than our last meeting, anyway. I told her I loved her and didn't want anybody else. We ended up having sex in the girls toilets at a bar! That's probably completely irrelevant. When we parted, she kissed me goodbye and she phoned me as soon as she got home for a nice chat, her tone all warm and loving.

 

Any similar experiences here? And what shall I do now? I'd love to get her back!

 

Thank you!

[Philosoraptor]

You need to seek help to correct your issues. As they are going to plague you in any relationship, whether that be with her or someone else. Once these issues have been corrected you can then show her the new you and possibly prove to her that you can be the person you always told her you would be.

 

But until these issues are corrected your chances of getting back and staying together are virtually zero.

[Jamez1580]

P.S - I realise I might have sounded a little over-optimistic. I know there's love there and obviously attraction though, so I am far from believing that giving up on her is the right thing to do now...

[Jamez1580]

You need to seek help to correct your issues. As they are going to plague you in any relationship, whether that be with her or someone else. Once these issues have been corrected you can then show her the new you and possibly prove to her that you can be the person you always told her you would be.

 

But until these issues are corrected your chances of getting back and staying together are virtually zero.

 

Well, one thing I forgot to add was that I told her I'd changed and she believed me, saying she'd even noticed it herself. I do feel a change within myself and I am not just saying that! This break has allowed me to really think about things and I realise how terrible I had become.

 

Thanks for the reply!

[Tae]

You need to seek help to correct your issues. As they are going to plague you in any relationship, whether that be with her or someone else. Once these issues have been corrected you can then show her the new you and possibly prove to her that you can be the person you always told her you would be.

 

But until these issues are corrected your chances of getting back and staying together are virtually zero.

 

You know it is a helpful advice. I think I have to get help as well, because I find myself in the same position as OP. Hopefully they have resources on my campus.