whats my next move

[crash_john]

I was introduced to this girl 21 I was 23 at the time in august and we dated but she was very shy or not open when I first met her so I kinda stop talking to her a few weeks. Later someone mentioned what happend to us and we linked up agin and end up dating and sleeping with each other she eventually opened up thru the relationship mind you I was a single man doing man doing what I want prior so I had a few women lingering which I got rid of but she was not cool with me having female friends. A lot of double standards who I was very close with we had our fights and issues thru the relationship but it did not bother me cause I was into her.

 

I always felt I brought more to the table in all aspects January I kinda put her low on my priority list cause I was focused on my career and buying my first house. She caught me at my apartment with a lady and I missed her birthday alot of young dumb mistakes we fell off but kept in contact I brought the house and showed it to her and asked if she wanted ti stay with me she decline but said I gotta think about it month goes past and contact fades I buy a ring present it to her she says "im dating somebody". I ask her sister why she didnt take the ring she says she just started yelling at her after that I left it alone a month later she was engaged and pregnant the family thought she was engaged to me they kno our story and still think i was a good fit.

 

She no longer wears the ring and aborted the baby but still deals with thus guy. I still love her I told her that she said she was open go dating me agin but never intiate contact and she reply when she want and brush me off when she gets around me she says she dont hang out she just be by herself. She dont do anything but I kno this guy is still in play I was told by family she is being stubborn and dont want to look like she made a wrong decision and they dont mention they dont like the guy cause it pushes her toward him.

 

How can I keep NC and get her back when her family lives right up stairs from me and she visits often

Edited February 5, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[crash_john]

Any advice on what I should do or if she will even take me back

[OhThatGirl]

First thing to do: respond in paragraphs with punctuation. This is so incredibly hard to read/follow.

 

Second thing to do: Move on. This sounds like more drama than any one person should have to deal with. You both need to learn the meaning of a mature adult relationship. Here's a clue.. It does not involve casually seeing each other while maintaining interests elsewhere, sleeping with other people in such a way that a pregnancy is possible, asking someone to "stay" with you when there is not an established relationship with boundaries, presenting a ring (was this an engagement ring? Gift? Huh?) without knowing the situation in which you expect her to take the ring.

 

There are so many "holy sh*t.. No, just no" things about this entire post that I very happily tell you to move on and really learn from this experience.

 

When she is involved with someone else you don't go trying to steal her away. Even if she is not willing to admit to the relationship she is in.

 

Also, stop asking her friends and family about your situation with her. Their opinion is of very minimal relevance to your life and should not be used to plan how you will handle this situation.

 

And finally, don't go NC to get her back. It sounds like she was never really yours. Go NC to get past this and take a long hard look at what a mess this entire situation was from the beginning. Learn from it. Start over fresh in a real relationship.